10/24 – Revenge of Five Alive: The Soggy Monkey Humper Edition

On Saturday 24th at 7:00 am, 15 PAX (including 1 FNG, “Ben”) posted on this chilly yet beautiful late-October morning. What’s more, a good half of them strutted into the sunshine for a two-fer after posting at Tarpit at 5:30 for @Da Vinci’s Dance Party Beatdown. We congregated with proper social distancing in the EAST parking lot (*gasp*) to begin a beatdown that didn’t disappoint!

PwP (PAX who Posted):

  1. Wet Burrito
  2. Captain Crunch
  3. K-Pop
  4. Crack
  5. Smokey
  6. Tortuga
  7. T-bone
  8. Sparrow
  9. Saga
  10. Da Vinci
  11. Beaker (FNG, welcome!)
  12. Jolly
  13. Too Big To Fail
  14. Double Beef ’n Cheddar
  15. Jäzz Händz


(Grab coupons right away before warmup, we’ll need ‘em later)

  1. Motivators 7x
  2. Goofballs 25x IC (best ready-position-move pose IMHO)
  3. Abe Vigodas IC 20x IC

Scoop up those coups and mosey quickly to NE entry of baseball diamond. Drop coupons, then “JAZZ HANDZ MOSEY” (alternating jazz hands and overhead claps) across the AO to normal West lot near first lamppost for…

Thang 1: Revenge of Five Alive
Run the short mile stopping at each lamp post (25 total) until the Thang is complete near the pool house. 

Of note: a brutal and “unexpected*** hardship” was encountered with a massive water barrier at the very beginning of our circuit around the 25 lamp posts. Some PAX took the high ground and didn’t get too terribly soggy, whereas some less-awake PAX ran through the reeds and low ground and basically soaked up most of the water in their socks and shoes. Thankfully our movement kept us warm, and a hot shower for YHC afterward the beatdown never felt so good. #prunyfeet

***unexpected is a poor term for the sake that @Tortuga warned us of “a puddle” along the path…though, your QIC decided, from the brief and somewhat lacking description, would be no problem to traverse. Needless to say, I was wrong and now know that if Tortuga speaks up, LISTEN AND LISTEN GOOD! The rest of the beatdown was a cold and soggy one from the ankles-down.

Exercise order:

  1. Burpees
  2. Monkey Humpers IC (2 is 1)
  3. Star Jumps
  4. Dive Bombers 
  5. Squats
  • 1st Lamp – 1 Burpee
  • 2nd Lamp – 2 Burpees – this progresses up to the 5th lamp post and doing 5 Burpees
  • 6th Lamp – 5 Burpees, 1 Monkey Humper IC – these increase by 1 until the 10th lamp post
  • 11th Lamp – 5 Burpees, 5 Monkey Humpers, 1 Star Jump – The Star Jumps Increase until the 15th lamp post
  • 16th Lamp – 5 Burpees, 5 Monkey Humpers, 5 Star Jump, 1 Dive Bomber – The Dive Bombers increase until the 20th lamp post
  • 21st Lamp – 5 Burpees, 5 Monkey Humpers, 5 Star Jumps, 5 Dive Bombers, 1 Squat – The Squats increase until the 25th lamp post
  • 25th Lamp – The routine culminates with 5 Burpees, 5 Monkey Humpers, 5 Star Jumps, 5 Dive Bombers, and 5 Squats
    • We did our final lamppost as a unit of 15 PAX all together to finish out strong.

From there, run the rest of the mile to coupons left by baseball diamond.

For those of you counting at home, that adds up to the following:

  • 115 Burpees
  • 90 Monkey Humpers IC
  • 65 Star Jumps
  • 40 Dive Bombers
  • 15 Squats

Thang 2: Baby Entertainment Training

PAX counted off by 4’s and were assigned a base on the diamond (1’s = first base, 2’s = second base, 3’s = third base, 4’s = home plate).

Grab your coupon, carry it like a kid who wants to be flown like an airplane and use sound FX for bonus points. Fly your coupon to your assigned plate. Each base is a different coupon “kid” exercise. Roughly 4 PAX per plate/station. Each plate has a unique kid/coupon based exercise. Proceed in evenly-distributed groups around stations. First station’s PAX to all finish their exercises call “ROTATE” and everyone moves along to the next base whether you finished your exercise or not.

1’s First Base: Swing the baby – 30x kettle bell swings OYO

“fly your baby to the next base”

2’s Second Base: Toss the baby – 30x overhead presses OYO

“fly your baby to the next base”

3’s Third Base: Kids curls – 30x coupon curls

“fly your baby to the next base”

4’s Home Base: Bounce the baby – 30x goblet squats

Sadly, YHC didn’t have enough time to whip out the signature move of Welsh Dragons. I had a special twist in mind so maybe next month I’ll bust out the modified WD’s FTW!

Drop the coupons, run to outfield for some 6MoM


  • Guantanamos, divided circle in half and two PAX ran at once to speed it up.
  • American Hammers, 20x IC 

(Thank you @Captain Crunch for being my pseudo-2Q)

Grab coupons, circle up around the flag for…


  • Smokey’s interviewing for a new job, prayers for direction. In meantime, his current role is growing and adding responsibility
  • T-bone has a new job or new job developments (apologies, I didn’t catch the details)
  • Praise for @Archive’s WILD BUT HEALTHY in-home delivery, just him and his wife until help arrived! Coming home soon from the hospital, everyone’s doing pretty well and resting up.
  • Shout out to @TBTF’s big 4-0 bday, and thanks to all PAX who showed up and dropped off a bottle of beer. I hear we ALMOST got to “99 bottles of beer on his (porch) wall!” Well done everyone, and congrats to TBTF!
  • Crash had some difficulties in KC and will be coming back soon, hoping to hear some good news about his competitions (volleyball? Again sorry the circle was so big I didn’t catch the details). Something about keys being locked out and AAA showing up, PTL.
  • Continued prayers for our country, leadership, and the presidential candidates.
  • Not mentioned at CoT: Pray for @Noodles’ & Co., as his dad has surprisingly just passed away, and they are trying to make arrangements being across borders with Mexico and with COVID-19 restrictions. A very difficult and devastating time for them, be thinking of how we can lift him up in prayer and practical support.

Wrapped up our morning with a blessed and sunny Coffeeteria around the frosty picnic tables, with catered-in Dunkin’, thanks to @T-bone’s generosity. Lots of laughs, mumble chatter, and chit chat ensued, but we wrapped up around 8:30 as winter seems to be drawing near and the temps are dropping. A stationary PAX isn’t as impervious to the cold as one mid-burpee. Disperse into the weekend strong and ALIVE (FIVE ALIVE!)

(Thanks to @Banks for this awesome custom designed beatdown (Five Alive) that suits our beautiful AO very well. It was my very first workout when I showed up as an FNG in April 2019, and I almost didn’t come back! So glad I did, I could tell this beatdown didn’t disappoint—most of the PAX had some complaining-style mumble-chatter going on along the way, which really did this QIC’s heart some good!)