Date: 2026-03-28
AO: Mastodon
Q: Endo ,
PAX: Treebeard, Falsetto, Carmen, Dumpster, The wet burrito, Stock boy, Jailbreak, Cookies, Endo, Cheap Shot, Audible, Profe, Jayhawk, Christopher Kempen (Taxi) FNGs: 1 Christopher Kempen (Taxi)
COUNT: 14
WOR: 7xmotivators, Abe Vagodas, CH squats, CH merkins, xc skiers
The Thang: This was Endo’s first attempt at a math beatdown, and just like math, what was supposed to be simple became complicated really fast, verging on chaos. So we modified.
Handed out cards with 6 exercises. PAX were instructed to do 2 sets of 2 times the first 2 exercises (2 cubed) OYO, then 3 sets of 3 times the first 3 exercises, with the 6th exercise being for PAX that got ahead of the group (and or Q). We all missed the great vocalizations of the jackson 5 while getting lost in rep counts and which exercise we were in. Cut this one off at the end of the song. Here are the 6 parking lot plyos:
Shaun white’s
Apolo ohnos
Bode millers
Line hops forward and backward
Line hops side to side
Curb steps (my daughter amrita told me to try this one)
Mosey to base of Hoffa. Failure to Launch activity in honor of upcoming next attempt to launch Artemis on April 1 (who thought that was a good idea?). Q failed on 6th round.
Round 2 – standing exercises, but we did them as a group with Q telling when to switch. Song was Cake’s “Mr. mastodon farm” (1994). Followed by They Might Be Giants “Dr Worm”. Squats
Bonnie blairs
Imperial walkers
Star jumps
Jungle boys (too similar to star jumps)
Single leg deadlift hop
Intermission activity was an alligator merkin race. Stockboy and Carmen cruised it while the rest of us lumbered to the finish.
Mumble chatter about using coupons as decoratives for the workout was silenced in round 3. Did coupon exercises to some U2 songs.
Block dips
Goblet squats
Bent rows
Curls
Thrusters
Scull crushers
Intermission activity was bear crawl tag (aka When Animals Attack in the Exicon). Bears that got tagged joined the its.
Round 4 – down on the ground for these exercises. Songs were counting crows “Omaha” and caedmons call “this world”.
Flutter kicks
Chuck norris Merkins (knuckles)
Broken bicycles
Plank jacks
Bar fights
Cockroach situps
Grand finale – marathon merkins. Pick a number that you think is your limit of merkins in one shot. Do that, then do 5 more (without stopping). That’s what makes it a marathon. A friend of mine (Jon Marshall) defined a marathon as “one more mile than you can physically run”.
We ended there and skipped the SHOP and PT portion.
Moleskine: piggybacked on The Wet Burrito’s moleskin from earlier this year that we need to always remember the everyday people that are caught up in these conflicts around the world. I’ve been including that a lot in my prayers time recently.
COT: cookies M, sparrow trip, pax seeking jobs, people involved in war torn areas
Tags: Mastodon, Treebeard, Falsetto, Carmen, Dumpster, The wet burrito, Stock boy, Jailbreak, Cookies, Endo, Cheap Shot, Audible, Profe, Jayhawk, Christopher Kempen (Taxi)
F3 Wheaton 