DATE: 2025-02-12
AO: #ao_tar_pit
Q: @Big Mac
PAX: @Panhandle @SAGA @Tortuga @The wet burrito @Falsetto @Beaker @Da Vinci @Samsonite @Katniss @Bloomer
FNGs: None
COUNT: 11
WOR: 7x Motivators, 10x copperhead merkins, 10 forward arm circles, 10 backward armcircles, 10 overhead claps, 5 Michael Phelps, OYO good mornings, calf stretching.The Thang:
Rumors of a UFO reach the PAX, the sightings occur at the bottom of the wheel. Of course the PAX investigate.
Stage 1 – Tractor beam
The sightings were true. All PAX are immediately caught in the tractor beams of increasing intensity. To resist, PAX must fully complete all exercises within the EMOM.
Beginning at 4x merkins, BBSU, and squats and increasing by 1 per minute.
PAX who fail are abducted with coupons to the top of the hill.
By 19 reps all PAX were abudcted.
Stage 2 – Scientific Observation
The aliens seek to understand our capacities and run an experiment to determine our physical and mental aptitudes. In a rotating fashion the next PAX offers an exercise, (Burpee, lunges x2, BBSU x3, merkins x4) and then repeats from the beginning all exercises so far (think Simon) next adds it on. We redo from the beginning. Rotate calling it out. If you mess up, take a step back but continue doing exercises.Stage 3: Destroy the CORE: The aliens decide that our physical aptitude is adequate and that our mental aptitude is "cute". They decide to keep us as pets. However, the end of the experiment coincides with the most important alien tradition of high tea celebrated for precisely 6 minutes every 3 years by all aliens. The absolute importance of tea time means no aliens are watching the PAX. Since the aliens do not sleep or slumber, this represents the only possible chance at escape for the PAX over the next three years. The PAX quickly decide to attempt to destroy the core of the engine to protect earth and then to escape using the convenient escape pods.Challenge: The PAX have 6 minutes to destroy the CORE. They must construct explosive devices using supplies found where we are being held. To construct a device, PAX must complete 5x burpees, 5x thrusters and 5x merkins. Each device represents one "throw" at the core. Devices are stored in the coupons.
Whenever the PAX want, they may descend the hill to the CORE to attempt successfully exploding all 10 pillars in the CORE. devices (KUBB sticks) must be thrown at least outside the painted parking lines to avoid melting from the heat of the CORE. If the PAX run out of attempts AND the CORE is not destroyed, they may reascend the hill with coupons to construct as many additional devices as desired. If the CORE is not destroyed within 6 minutes, the aliens will return from tea and will surely be angered by the PAX mutiny and turn them into decorative wall hangings rather than pets.Epic movie style: the PAX destroyed the CORE in 6 minutes and 30 seconds just as the aliens were arriving.However, given the delay in CORE detsruction the PAX only had 1 minute and 30 seconds to reach the escape pods.To get to the escape pod (which will feel like it’s in the exact place we are starting, but that’s just the messed up physics of alien technology), we PAX must bernie up the hill to make sure none of the aliens attack us from behind, and then bear crawl through a tunnel too small to walk in back to the stairs and then descend the steps back to what appears to be (but is definitely not) the same starting location which is where the escape pods are located. Anyone who does not make it in the allotted time will be destroyed with the ship. Everyone else can enjoy a leisurely ride back to earth.Unfortunately, given the late start, none of the PAX arrived at the escape pods in time. (@Tortuga was just feet away). All PAX were destroyed with the alien ship.However, @SAGA choose to livestream the experience and the PAX received post mortem honors for having saved the planet and protecting others from the alien forces.Moleskine: You never know when you might be abducted by aliens or have some other tragic event take away what feels normal, make sure to cherish the mundane.COT: Prayers for @Falsetto‘s back, @Samsonite M’s mother’s procedure, and @Katniss‘s (I might be remembering wrong?) 2.0’s procedure.
