Author: Tortuga

Backblast: Brutal Beatdown: The Joke’s on You
Date: 04/1/23
AO: #ao_mastodon
PAX: @Hancock @Tortuga @Blackout @Hershey @Captain Crunch @The wet burrito
FNGs: 0
Q: @Tortuga
Total: 6

Backblast April Fools’ Day
4/1/23

WOR: ssh IC 50, traveling goofballs, donkey hydrants, side fairy Phelps to the lamppost and back.

Metal bar speared through four coupons set up by the flag.

Thang1: Scout mosey to Monkey Bars.
Pass the KUBB game set up west of Hoffa.
Three PAX carrying coupons at the back. As the last PAX passes someone without a coupon, they pass it off and jog the rest of the way to the front. Some farmer’s carry, rifle carry, and PAX choice.

Thang 2: Three stations
1: monkey bars down and back
2: blockees
3: air thrusters
Monkey bars are the pacers.

Thang 3:
Scout run with blocks in the front. One PAX farmer carries two, another just one. PAX coming forward picks one to relieve of their coupon(s) and continues to the front.

Thang 4:
Bridge traverse with feet up on railing, hands down.

Thang 5:
Scout run with blocks in the front. One PAX farmer carries two, another just one. PAX coming forward picks one to relieve of their coupon(s) and continues to the front. Continue to the SHOP. @Hershey lost his hat to the wind while double carrying. Tortuga tracked it down.

Thang 6:
50 raise the roofs. When finished, call out your order of finish and plank for the 6. Remember your number.

Thang 7:
50 Star cross Jumps. Cross arms to touch opposite feet on the down. When finished, call out your order of finish and plank for the 6. Remember your number.

Thang 8:
20 mule kicks. When finished, call out your order of finish and Al Gore for the 6. Remember your number.

Thang 9:
Copperhead abyss merkins, 10 IC, 20 monkey humpers IC.

Thang 10:
Back to the flag with coupons.
Pass the KUBB game set up west of Hoffa.
Side plank leg and arm raises. 10 per side OYO.

Thang 11:
50 incline merkins. Almost broke the wooden fence around Hoffa, so went to the top of Hoffa to try again. First to finish 50 calls out “50!” and we all stop.
Pass the KUBB game set up west of Hoffa.

Thang 12:
Zip line. PAX hold plank or Al Gore while waiting.

Thang 13:
Jazz hands run back to the flag.
Pass the KUBB game set up west of Hoffa.

5MOM: 99 flutter kicks IC, 49 shoulder taps (2=1) IC

Thang 14:
Pick up the KUBB game.

Moleskine: Jesus really loves you, died for you, and his blood cleanses you from all sin and makes you right with God.

COT: prayed for @Crack ‘s sister recovering from a stroke, @Blackout’s grandpa recovering from a stroke, @Captain Crunch’s M is sick, @Hancock’s new job starts Monday.

Backblast: UBU Monday, Pacer test
Date: 3/6/2023
AO: #ao_mastodon
PAX: @TBTF @Tortuga@Bloomer @Stock boy @Captain Crunch @Jolly @Shiplap @Banks @Pool Boy @DQ @Da Vinci @Panhandle @Katniss @Big Mac @Dogear @Jailbreak
Q: @Tortuga
Total: 16
Conditions: mild, a little wet

Thang: Some rucked.
Some ran the Pacer Test.
I figured out how to use a phone, youtube, and a speaker, guesstimated what 20 meters would be on two tennis courts, and ran the pacer test. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMcfIkW7kkM
At the tone, PAX ran from one side of the singles tennis court to the other side of the next court’s singles area. I think it was more like 22 meters. The time between beeps stayed steady for 7 lengths, then sped up for the next 7 or 8 lengths and so on until no one could finish. You were allowed one failure. Once you failed twice, your test was over. My fastest fifth graders typically get a score of 60-70 rounds. One year I had a student get 106. Our high today was 78. When I got to school I measured the gym where we run it. The distance was 18.6 meters. I plan to try it again when I Q next week Friday for run club. We’ll get closer to the 18.6 meters my students use. It should make a huge difference.
Moleskine: Sin is not a problem you need to keep working on, It’s a cancer that only God can heal through the blood of Jesus Christ. Stop striving to fix yourself. Ask God to do his good work in you, and let him.
COT: Thanks to God for bodies that work, men to work out with, and the forgiveness that comes through Jesus Christ.

Backblast: What Ho, There Might Be Snow
Date: 3/4/2023
AO: #ao_mastodon
PAX: @Hancock @TBTF @Tortuga@Hershey @Bloomer @Maniac @Stock boy @Captain Crunch @Short Circuit @Noodles
FNGs: 0
Q: @Tortuga
Total: 10
Conditions: mild, snowless, sunny

WOR: usual disclaimers, arm circles, SSH, copperhead squats, Michael Phelps

The fun planned for the epic wet snowfall were scrapped due to the complete and total lack of precipitation of any sort. Brutality ensued instead. Sorry, not sorry.

The Thang:
Pearls on a String
PAX stayed together throughout the workout, completing reps mostly OYO with a short mosey between stations of Cooties, bleachers by the ball field, the SHOP, the building by the pond, and the flag.
Three rounds. Five stops each.

Round one: legs
Goblet squats, Weighted lunges, weighted step ups, wall sit with partner coupon pass, hillbilly squats

Round two: arms
Pike position pull ups or toes to bar. Five PAX at a time, switch with a partner at failure, hold plank while waiting, Ranger merkins, table press, hip slappers: feet up on wall, tap hips instead of shoulder taps, overhead clap IC to 62 followed by Moroccan Night Clubs to 2.

Round three: burpees
Hand release pull up burpees, hand release tuck jump burpees, box jump burpees, Navy SEAL burpees IC Q called (5), Navy SEAL burpees IC (10 count) Each PAX called out one (9)
Mary:
One minute of bicycle, two minutes of cross crunches, 60 flutters IC slowing the cadence after 30, 40, and 50.

Moleskine: Tell your loved ones you love them. Out loud. Often. Write short notes. Repeato.

COT: Prayers for @Pink Drink leading a youth group retreat this weekend, @Bloomer’s brother, @Captain Crunch’s 2.0 home and better from recent illness, work stresses, @Noodles M arthritic flare ups, @Maniac huge mortgage increase, @Tortuga’s M in a time of anxiety.

Backblast: Snow much fun
Date: Saturday, 1/28/23
AO: #ao_tar_pit
PAX: @Shiplap @wet burrito @Pool Boy @Tortuga @Big Mac @Double Dip @LeMond @Gummi Bear @Hershey @T-bone
FNGs: 0
Q: @Tortuga
Total: 10

Conditions: 18 degrees, no wind, untouched snow around the track. Perfect.

WOR: Imperial Walkers, copperhead merkins, wider, and wider still, Michael Phelps, Goof Balls, Abe Vigodas

Thang One: Laps around the track
We stuck together for this one. Four teams. One PAX lay on their back in the sled with a coupon. Teams of three had one puller with the other PAX farmer’s carrying the other two coupons. Teams of two had the other PAX pulling and farmer’s carry one coupon. We switched when any PAX called out, “Switch”. The passenger PAX did reps while riding. We completed three legs each of chest presses, skull crushers, leg lifts, block ferkins, and modified monkey humpers – with hands on the coupon instead of ankles for stability.

Thang 2: Tug of War. Five on five. Two rounds.
Short slow mosey around the track.

Thang 3: Relays
Two teams of five. One PAX in the sled, legs up to allow a PAX to push him while he does chest presses. 30 yards out and back, switching pushers. While waiting to push, PAX completed squats, burpees, or hand release tuck jump burpees. Riders switched after four pushes (or so).
One more round of tug of War.

Thang 4: jumps
straight legged jumps – locked knees. All ankles and arms.
hinge jumps – Slight knee bend, mostly hip hinge and arms.
Squat jumps – Deep squat followed by explosive jump. Coupon high or higher.

Mary:
Leg raise hold to failure, one legged plank to failure, other leg to failure.
American Hammers, IC, 10 normal speed, 10 really slow.

Moleskine: Proverbs 19:20 “Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise.”
@Big Mac told me Thursday that I wasn’t getting down to 90 degrees on my squats. My sin nature wanted to get defensive and angry. Thankfully, I was able to accept his feedback. I started getting lower.

NOR/COT: Prayers for @LeMond and his M as their baby is due in February, Naomi is improving from her holiday illness but seizures are increasing, @Panhandle colleague gets test results back on Monday.

Coffeeteria: @T-bone ordered donuts on his phone before arriving. @Jolly beat him to it by skipping the beatdown (he had a race later) and arriving at Dunkin a little early. @T-bone’s donuts are paid for and will be served next Saturday. Hopefully they’re not too stale.

Backblast: Run Club
Date: 1/6/23
AO: #ao_ground_zero
PAX: @Banks @T-bone @Toto @Tortuga @Topham @T.B. @Shiplap @Beaker @TBTF @Jolly @Panda Express @SAGA @Dilbert @Panhandle @Stock boy @Da Vinci
FNGs: 0
Q: @Tortuga
Total: 16

WOR: Goof balls

The Thang: we ran to the Wheaton College track.
10 burpees, run a lap around the edge of the field. The track was an ice rink. Burpees were optional.
Did a one minute suicide sprint using the 5 yard lines.
Return to the flag.

Moleskin: Cows and buffalo. When a storm approaches from the west, cows run away, to the east. They end up running with the storm and spend more time in it. Buffalo run TOWARD the storm. They attack it. This actually allows them to spend less time in it. They both get wet, but the buffalo have a shorter time of it.
The storms are our problems/ challenges. Yes, they might suck, but putting them off or running from them make them last longer. Be a buffalo and embrace the suck. Do hard things head on.

COT: prayers for travel for Toto and family and for T.B.’s M heading to Mexico for two days.

Backblast: Santa’s Sleigh
Date: 12.22.22
AO: #ao_mastodon
@ PAX: @Hancock @Archive @Toto @Big Mac @T-bone @Tortuga @Hershey @Pink Drink @Bloomer @Swish @Jolly @Beaker @LeMond @Captain Crunch @Panhandle @SAGA @Katniss @Dilbert @Aloha @Spit Valve @Noodles
FNGs: 0
Q: @Tortuga
Total: 21

WoR: Goofballs, motivators (7), arm circles, t-bone burpees, leg stretch OYO

Thang 1: Santa’s sleigh
We split into four teams, each with a coupon. As we moved around the AO the coupons had to stay in motion, either curling or overhead pressing.
At each stop we had a pair of exercises: one upright, one down on the ground. We all started with the upright exercise. We started with seal claps and flutter kicks. Everyone started seal clapping. The Q announced, “I’m looking for someone who has worked in a school.” If this was true of you, you remained standing doing seal claps. If this was not true of you, you got down and started flutters. The next statement was, “I’m looking for someone who has working in a school AND has worked for a church.” Any of those standing who had NOT worked for a church started flutters. This pattern continued until one PAX remained. That PAX chose a present from the sleigh or wagon.
Repeato until all PAX claimed a gift.
Some pairings: Thrusters with crunchy frogs, hillbilly squats with leg raises, jump squats with plank jacks.

Interesting tidbits: @Hershey has broken seven or eight bones. There are some cat people among us. Many of us have been thrown up on. @Spit Valve is the world’s best dad.

Moleskine: The God of the universe who knitted you together in your mother’s womb, created all things , loves you so much that he sent his only son to die for you. Don’t forget what an amazing salvation we have from this god who loves us.

COT: prayers for @Archive and family with baby due any day, traveling mercies, and something else that I forgot.

Backblast: It’s my Birthday!
Date: 12/7/2022
AO: #ao_tar_pit#ao_tar_pit
PAX: @Bloomer@Tortuga@Pool Boy@Jolly@Panhandle@T-bone@wet burrito@Crack@8-Track@Archive
FNGs: 0
Q: @Tortuga
Total: 10

WOR: 21 (success!), lap around parking lot: mosey, karaoke, butt kickers, high knees, Bernie, karaoke, Abe Vigodas, T-Bone burpees

The Thang: Pearls on a string
53 reps of each exercise, OYO, good form, first to 53 calls out “53”, we all stop and move to new location carrying coupons any way but on the shoulders.
Jumping spiders, crab cakes, block bbsus, thrusters, overhead press, bent over rows, hillbilly squats, curls, hip slappers, farmer’s carry (steps), flutter kicks IC called by @8-Track.

Ended with some stretching.

COT: prayers for @Bloomer’s brother still recovering from stroke.  Praise that he was out at Saturday’s late service.  Still not back to full functionality.  @T-bone has two weeks of business travel.  Prayers that his consulting work would be effective and valuable.  @Archive’s M due any day now.

Moleskin: Age is just a number.  Don’t let it determine your mindset.  Yesterday @Jolly taunted the PAX as he murderbunnied up Hoffa, “How does it feel to get beat by a fat 50 year old?!”

Backblast: Game of the Year
Date: 11/10/2022
AO: #ao_mastadon
PAX: @Hancock @Giggles @T-bone @Jolly @bigblue @Archive @Pool Boy @Dilbert @Jan Hus @Majorette @Sparrow @SAGA @Da Vinci @Aloha @Shiplap @Panhandle @Bo-Peep @Stock boy @Maniac @Panda Express @Tortuga
FNGs: 0

Q: @Tortuga
Total: 21

WOR: motivators x7, goof balls, Abe Vigodas, T-bone burpees

Thang 1: 30 burpees, up and down Hoffa, line up in order of finish.

Thang 2: Partners were determined by finish order. Top two, next two, etc. One partner is on team A, the other is on team B.
Good form, add-on challenge:
Pick an exercise. Start with one rep. One goes, the partner demands good form. One warning, next break from form ends attempt. Next guy does two. First guy does three. Go to failure or agreed upon max reps. May choose to add two or more each time instead of one.
Alternate who chooses the challenge. Can be a “Who can go the longest?” and just do it together. Wall sit, handstand, plank, farmers carry, rifle carry, be creative.

Two Kubb sets set up to knock down. Winner gets three tosses. Loser gets one. Max reps gets one throw each. Pin knock down earns one broad jump burpee king move. Farthest king wins.

Whole group started with thrusters. @Bo-Peep and @Stock boy went forever.

Team B was victorious.

Mary: Flutter kicks IC, 40 (4 count) holding coupon up then with chest presses. One minute of block bbsus – coupon touches the ground above your head and then the ground between your feet.

COT: Thank God for bodies that work, men to push us to get better, and a beautiful morning. Prayers for @Hancock’s M and 2.0 flying to Maine for a college visit, @Shiplap trying to sell his house, and the persecuted church in Iraq.

Moleskine: Ask, listen. remember. Ask people about their lives. Listen to what they share and remember it. Don’t listen with only one ear while waiting for your turn to speak. Invest in other’s stories. Especially your M and 2.0’s.

Backblast: We ran
Date: 10/21/22
AO: #ao_ground_zero
PAX: @Pool Boy @Beaker @Tortuga @8-Track @Toto @LeMond @Topham @Crack @Spokes @Humpty @TBTF
FNGs: 0
Q: @Tortuga
Total: 11

Warm-o-Rama: Stretch OYO

Thang: we ran south.

Moleskin: “Love me when I need it the least, because that’s when I need it the most.” This quote hangs in my parents house. My mom had an affair with a black man when I was in fifth grade. My sister is black. My dad didn’t bail on the marriage or family, even though he had every biblical right to do so. He chose, with God’s help) to love Mom when she deserved it the least.
When you want to wring someone’s neck, that’s when they most need your love. Pray that God will give you that love in that time/ season.

COT: @Crack is traveling to Michigan this weekend to spend time with his oldest 2.0, Carissa.

Death by Skinny Runner
Date: 9/28/22
AO: #ao_tar_pit
PAX: @Tortuga @Double Dip @SAGA @Jolly @Spit Valve @Carsten Schumm (First Gear) @Panhandle @8-Track @T-bone @Crocket (FNG welcome, Respect, respect!)
Q: @Tortuga
Total: 10
FNGs: 1
WOR: Arm circles, Michael Phelps, goof balls, walk, jog, around the track.

The Thang:
100 Gas Pumpers (Knees to Chest)
50 Jump Rope
1 mile run
25 Hello Dollies
25 Burpees
50 Jump Rope
400-meter run
25 Hand Release Merkins
25 V-Ups
50 Jump Rope
400-meter run
25 Leg Raises
25 Jungle Boi Squats – 2 spoons style
50 Jump Rope
400-meter run
25 4-count flutter kicks (watch the video)
25 Bonnie Blairs (hard way – right leg and left leg counts as 1)
50 Jump Rope
400-meter run
100 Big Boy Sit-ups
50 Jump Rope
1 mile run

@T-bone substituted the rower for the laps. Top time 38:30.

COT: prayers for injured PAX: @Banks @Da Vinci @T-bone @Big Mac. Big Mac’s doctor’s appointment went well. They think it’s a torn abdominal muscle. Rest should make it well.

Moleskin: Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. This doesn’t just mean dying. We can give up what we want: a great score for IPC, a night out with friends, a place in the checkout line. These small sacrifices for others also show the heart of Christ who gave up everything for us. Be willing to give up some of your wants for others’ benefit.