The Four Corners of Hoffa – AO Mastodon

Date: 2/5/22
AO: #ao_mastodon
PAX: @Crash@Captain Crunch (AJ)@Bloomer@Hancock@TBTF@Crack
FNGs: 0
Q: @Crack
Total: 6
Conditions: Clear, Frozen. 0*F at post time

Warm-o-rama:
SSH – IC 50
Tappy Taps – IC 10
Merkins – IC 10
Abe Vigodas – IC 10
Mountain Man Poopers – IC 10

Thang 1: Bataan Death March – PAX moseyed around the lake clockwise, last PAX dropped for 5 burpees then sprinted to front. All PAX got in two rounds of burpees by the time we reached Hoffa

Thang 2: The Four Corners of Hoffa – 4 pain stations, 3 at the bottom of the hill, 1 at the top. PAX moved from Curls for the Girls (25) to Derkins (25) to Thrusters (25), then ran up Hoffa for Burpees (10) before sledding or running back down. Five rounds were completed before time was called.

COT: Prayers for hiring process for new typesetter at Crossway, @Crack‘s M’s family after the loss of her uncle to a heart attack this week.

Moleskin: We have 0 guaranteed days on this earth, live each day with purpose.

BLACK DIAMOND – “These go to Eleven!”

These go to 11 / Spinal Tap: Image Gallery (List View) | Know Your Meme

Date: Monday, 10/11/2021
AO:#ao_mastodon
PAX:@8-Track@Archive,@Banks@Big Mac@Crack@Da Vinci@Katniss@Jolly
FNGs: 0
Q:@Crack
Total: 8

Conditions: A warm, 70 degree morning with a nice breeze
Warm-o-Rama: SSH IC – 30, Arm Circles (small forward, small reverse, large reverse, large forward) IC – 10 ea, Seal Claps IC – 10, Shoulder/Tricep stretch – 10 count ea, Tappy Taps IC – 10, Quad Stretch – 10 count ea, Merkins IC – 10Brief note: The plan was that all movement between Thangs would involve either Rifle Carry or Murder Bunny. This had to be changed after Thang 2 due to time constraints.

Thang 1: ELEVENS
Working from lightpole to lightpole around the west side of the AO, PAX performed Blockees and Decline Merkins (10/1, 9/2, 8/3,…, 2/9, 1/10). Movement between lightpoles was by Murder Bunny.PAX then moved from the end of Thang 1 to the ball field via Rifle Carry.

Thang 2: DAN TAYLORS to ELEVEN!
PAX performed modified Dan Taylors, substituting Thrusters for squats and weighted lunges for traditional lunges. Final station should have been 11 Thrusters, 44 squats.PAX then moseyed to the end of the road near the pool house.

Thang 3: THESE GO TO ELEVEN! (modified due to time)
The original plan was for this to be performed similar to 5Alive, where previous exercises are repeated at each new station. Due to time, it became just stations
PAX moved from lightpole to lightpole performing 11 reps of a set exercise at each station.

  1. Curls for the Girls
  2. Upright Rows
  3. Skull Crushers
  4. Overhead Presses
  5. Bent-over Rows
  6. Chest Presses
  7. Goblet Squats
  8. Kettle Bell Swings
  9. Grave Diggers
  10. Hodors
  11. Blockees

Time was called before any of the PAX got to station 10.

COT: Combined with the regular Monday crew, see the other backblast.

Moleskin: Murder Bunnying between stations takes a lot longer than YHC anticipated…

St. Crispin’s (a little early)

Date: Saturday, 10/9/2021
AO: #ao_mastodon
PAX: @Captain Crunch (AJ)@Crack@Crash@SAGA
FNGs: 0
Q: @Crack
Total: 4
Conditions: Clear, cool autumn morning, fog dissipating as the flags were planted
Warm-Up: SSH 30 IC, Arm Circles IC small forward, small backward, large backward, large forward (10 ea), Tappy-Taps 10 IC, Abe Vigodas 10 IC, Quad Stretch 10 count each leg
Thang 1: Stations – 3 rounds

  • Pull-ups – 15 reps
  • Atomic Merkins – 20 reps
  • Squats – 25 reps

Thang 2: East side 11’s – working from the traffic circle towards the pool, using the light poles. Burpees and merkins. End near pool building.
Thang 3: Dan Taylors – the PAX moseyed to Dan Taylor Alley, performed DTs from east to west.
Thang 4: The Tortuga Special – PAX moseyed to the monkey bars. Each PAX took a turn traversing the bars down and back while the rest held plank. Touching the ground required a restart.
Thang 5: Assault of Hoffa – as there was a large group of female Wheaton College students congregating at the top of Hoffa, the Q waited till near the end of the workout for this endeavor. The PAX performed reps at the base and then sprinted to the top.

  • 25 Merkins
  • 50 BBSU
  • 75 Squats

As expected, @SAGA was recognized by the ladies…

Mary: As we had 3 minutes left upon returning to the flags, YHC led us in American Hammers (25 IC), Flutter Kicks (20 IC), and Boat/Canoe for time.COT: prayers for recovery from surgery, upcoming surgery, other health concerns of the PAX and families.

Moleskin@Captain Crunch (AJ) closed us with Henry V’s St. Crispin’s Day speech from Shakespeare’s play, with slight adjustments. Read and enjoy:

WESTMORELAND
O that we now had here
But one ten thousand of those men in England
That do no work to-day!

KING HENRY V
What’s he that wishes so?
My cousin Westmoreland? No, my fair cousin:
If we are mark’d to die, we are enough
To do our country loss; and if to live,
The fewer men, the greater share of honour.
God’s will! I pray thee, wish not one man more.
By Jove, I am not covetous for gold,
Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost;
It yearns me not if men my garments wear;
Such outward things dwell not in my desires:
But if it be a sin to covet honour,
I am the most offending soul alive.
No, faith, my coz, wish not a man from Tar Pit:
God’s peace! I would not lose so great an honour
As one man more, methinks, would share from me
For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more!
Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through my host,
That he which hath no stomach to this fight,
Let him depart; his passport shall be made
And crowns for convoy put into his purse:
We would not die in that man’s company
That fears his fellowship to die with us.
This day is called the feast of Crispian:
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when the day is named,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say ‘To-morrow is Saint Crispian:’
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars.
And say ‘These wounds I had on Crispin’s day.’
Old men forget: yet all shall be forgot,
But he’ll remember with advantages
What feats he did that day: then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words,
Harry the king, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester, @Crash and @Crack@Captain Crunch (AJ) and our beloved @SAGA
Be in their flowing cups freshly remember’d.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne’er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remember’d;
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
And gentlemen in Tar Pit now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin’s day.

9/13/21 – AO Mastodon: Ruck + IPC

18 PAX showed up for a modified version of the “You do You” Monday workout. 13 chose to post early (0515 startex) in order to have plenty of time to complete this week’s IronPAX Challenge, and 5 chose to strap some weight on and ruck around the AO.


After a brief Warm-o-Rama (SSH IC – 20, Abe Vigodas IC 10, Arm Circles IC – 10F, 10R, Michael Phelps OYO), the IPC group headed to the base of Hoffa where YHC had measured out the required 160ft distance.

Thang 1: IronPAX Challenge – Week 2: 4 Rounds for time
Round 1: 8 burpees, sprint to other end, 8 burpees, sprint back, repeat for total of 11 sets of burpees. Total of 88 burpees.
Round 2: 8 Squrls (squat curl combo), block carry to other end, 8 Squrls, block carry back, repeat for a total of 11 sets. Total of 88 Squrls.
Round 3: 88 Overhead presses, Rifle Carry block to other end, 88 Overhead presses, Rifle Carry back. Total of 176 OHPs.
Round 4: 88 X-Factors, Bear Crawl to other end, 88 X-Factors, Crawl Bear back. Total of 176 X-Factors. (most PAX chose to Crawl Bear first, then Bear Crawl back)

Thang 2:
Since we finished so “quickly,” @Tortuga helped YHC decide that we should run up Hoffa. So we did. Twice. The second time up we circled up for some You-Call-It Mary. We went around the circle with each PAX calling out an exercise to perform for 5 reps. Time was called, and we collected our coupons and moseyed back to the flag.

The Ruckers arrived at the flag at about the same time. They finished with about 2.5mi total distance.

COT: @Cookies (ruck), @Minnie (ruck), @Bloomer (IPC), @Big Mac (IPC), @8-Track (ruck), @Hotbox (IPC), @Jolly (IPC), @Zoro (IPC), @SAGA (IPC), @Panda Express (IPC), @Sparrow (IPC), @Panhandle (IPC), @T-bone (IPC), @Jailbreak (Ruck), @Tortuga (IPC), @Shiplap (IPC), @Banks (IPC), @Crack (IPC, Q)

ao mastodon, 9/4/21

Since our Weasel Shaker kindly reminded me Friday afternoon that I was on Q for this workout, the creativity was not flowing. Regardless, I think we managed to find a solid workout in the midst of our wandering. 15 PAX showed up to explore the AO with me.

Warm-o-Rama:
Side-straddle Hops IC – 25
Tappy Taps IC – 10
Arm Circles IC – 10 small forward, 10 small reverse, 10 large reverse, 10 large forward
Merkins IC – 10
Michael Phelps OYO while Q explained Thang 1

Thang 1 – Bataan Death March
PAX started to mosey clockwise around the AO. Last PAX in line dropped and performed 5 burpees then sprinted to the front. Repeat. We worked our way to Dan Taylor Alley in this fashion.

Thang 2 – Dan Taylors
PAX spread out across the width of the field, and then headed east performing Dan Taylors (1 squat, 4 walking lunges, 2 squats, 8 lunges, 3 squats, 12 lunges, etc.) until we reached the east end of the field.

Back to Bataan Death March – we continued our trek around the AO, stopping at the COOTIES station

Thang 3 – Station work
The PAX split into 3 groups. Each group started at one of the three stations, then rotated. The group at station 1 dictated when to rotate.
Round 1: Pullups (20 ea, 100 total), Atomic Merkins (AMRAP), Picnic Table Presses (AMRAP)
Round 2: Merkins (50 ea, 200 total), Dips (AMRAP), Super Mario (picnic table step-ups, AMRAP)

Thang 4 – Mary Hoffa
(At this point YHC was making things up on the fly, so the following may not be 100% accurate…)
PAX moved to the base of Hoffa and spread out.
Round 1: 50 Big Boi Sit-ups, run to top of hill, 50 Little Baby Crunches
Round 2: 50 American Hammers (2=1), run to top of hill, 25 WWI sit-ups
Round 3: YHC does not recall what reps were done, but all PAX were required to Bernie up the hill.

Time was called, PAX headed to the flag.

COT: Archive, Bad Debt, Captain Crunch, Cookies, Crash, Da Vinci, Dirty Laundry (FNG), Heist, Jailbreak, Jazz Hands, Minnie, SAGA, TBTF, Wet Burrito, Crack (Q)

Doughnuts kindly provided by Captain Crunch (penance for arriving late?) and Tortuga

Friday Run Club, AO Ground Zero, 8/27/21

It was a humid morning, and the gloom is returning. Not quite full dark at post time, but almost time to break out the headlamps.

8 PAX posted this morning for a slowish run. After the usual disclaimer, we headed north and west on the Prairie Path. The PAX split into 3 groups, with YHC, Dooley Dog, and Panda Express in the lead. We made the turn at 20min, and finished with 4.5 miles.

CoT: Toto, Panda Express, Panhandle (respect!), Big Mac, Tortuga (respect!), Cheese (respect!), 8 Track, Crack (Q), Dooley Dog.

Back to School – 8/14/21, AO Mastodon

18 PAX (including 2 FNGs) posted this morning for K-Pop’s last workout before heading off to college.

Warm-o-Rama:
Side Straddle Hops – IC 30
Tappy Taps – IC 10
Shoulder/Tricep Combo Stretch – 10 count each arm
Abe Vigoda – IC 10
Merkins – IC 10

Thang 1: Elevens!
PAX moseyed around the short loop, stopping at each light pole. Starting with 10 burpees, 1 merkin, working to 1 burpee, 10 merkins.

Mosey to playground

Thang 2: Billy Madison
Since K-Pop is heading off to college, we needed to remind him of all the years of school he’d already completed…
Each “grade” consisted of a lap around the base of Hoffa followed by an “exam” which consisted of 12 reps of the given exercise. The previous “grade” exam was added to the new grade each time.

1st Grade: Little Baby Crunches
2nd Grade: Air Squats, LBCs
3rd Grade: Merkins, Squats, LBCs
4th Grade: Flutter Kicks (4=1), Merkins, Squats, LBCs
5th Grade: Big Boi Sit Ups, Flutters, Merkins, Squats, LBCs
6th Grade: Lunges (2=1), BBSUs, Flutters, Merkins, Squats, LBCs
7th Grade: American Hammers (4=1), Lunges, BBSUs, Flutters, Merkins, Squats, LBCs
8th Grade: Mountain Climbers (4=1), AHs, Lunges, BBSUs, Flutters, Merkins, Squats, LBCs
9th Grade: Ranger Merkins, Mountain Climbers, AHs, Lunges, BBSUs, Flutters, Merkins, Squats, LBCs
10th Grade: Dips, Ranger Merkins, Mountain Climbers, AHs, Lunges, BBSUs, Flutters, Merkins, Squats, LBCs
11th Grade: Atomic Merkins, Dips, Ranger Merkins, Mountain Climbers, AHs, Lunges, BBSUs, Flutters, Merkins, Squats, LBCs
12th Grade: Burpees!, Atomic Merkins, Dips, Ranger Merkins, Mountain Climbers, AHs, Lunges, BBSUs, Flutters, Merkins, Squats, LBCs

Sadly, none of the PAX were able to complete high school. Maybe next time the Q will leave out the Elevens to make room for the final grades?

Final Thang: AYG run up Hoffa, hold Al Gore for the 6.

CoR, NoR, CoT: Crash, K-Pop, Tortuga, Doublemint, Pick-a-Brick (FNG), Banks, Jolly, Jailbreak, TBTF, Bloomer, Cheese, Bad Debt (FNG), Noodles, Minnie, Wet Burrito, SAGA, Sparrow, Crack (Q)

Run Club – 7/9/21

After a week of hot, humid weather, the chill of the gloom was a welcome change. 10 PAX plus our four-legged buddy posted for run club this morning, some nursing the after-effects of what sounded like a fun 2nd F evening at T-Bone’s last night.

The Thang: Run
We headed north by northwest on the prairie path, starting all together and slowly splitting into 4 groups based on speed. At the halfway point (~5:55am) we turned around and headed back. The fast group ended up with 5mi, and the slowest group with 4.5mi.

NoR: Tortuga (respect), Dr. Phil, Cheeese (respect), Da Vinci, Whittler, Babysitter, T-Bone (respect), Jolly, Katniss, Crack, Dooley Dog (Q)

“Squats and Other Stuff” – AO Mastodon, June 12, 2021

10 PAX showed up on a humid Saturday morning to find out if we could actually do “just” squats. Mumblechatter earlier in the week got YHC thinking. Recently we have gotten into the habit of doing exercises like “Mucho-lego” that include the squat, but aren’t just squats.

Warm-o-Rama:
Side-straddle hops – IC 25
Tappy Taps – IC 10
Abe Vigodas – IC 10
Merkins – IC 10
Mountain Man Poopers – IC 10
Arm Circles – IC 10 each small forward, small reverse, big reverse, big forward
Michael Phelps – OYO

We started with a mosey around the short loop, finishing at the base of Hoffa.

Thang 1: 11’s on the hill (Heartbreak 11’s?)
The PAX lined up across the the base of Hoffa. Exercises were air squats at the bottom, merkins at the top, starting with 10 squats, 1 merkin, and working to 1 squat, 10 merkins.

Due to the heat/humidity, YHC called an audible on the plans, and we headed to the shade.

Thang 2: Pain Stations
The PAX split into 3 groups. Group 1 headed to the COOTIES, group 2 headed to the swings, and group 3 headed to the SHOP.
Rounds 1&2: Pull-ups (10 ea), Atomic Merkins (20 ea), picnic table presses (15 ea)
Rounds 3&4: Dips (20 ea), Big Boy Sit-ups (20 ea), Picnic Table step-ups (20 ea)

The PAX then retraced their steps back around the short loop to the flag for some Ring of Fire

Each PAX chose an exercise, performed 1 rep. Going around the circle, each PAX then increased the rep count by 1 until it came back to the original PAX, who finished with 10 reps.
K-Pop – merkins
Wet Burrito – flutter kicks (4 count)
Reels – Big Boy Situps
SAGA – Burpees (modified to AMRAP, start after the previous PAX has completed 1 rep)
Bloomer – Squats
Da Vinci – LBCs (SAGA style)
Jailbreak – mountain climbers

COT – Crash, Jailbreak, Da Vinci, Bloomer, SAGA, Reels (FNG), Wet Burrito, K-Pop, Crack (Q)

Coupons and Legs – 4.17.21 – AO Mastodon

After too much work travel over the previous 2 weeks, YHC was itching to get in a good beatdown. Naturally, the best way to do this (aside from attending a Shiplap Q) is to lead your own! It was a brisk 40 degrees at post time, so warm-up was important.

It had been a while since we reviewed the 5 tenets of F3, so we started the disclaimer with them:

F3 is free of charge
F3 is open to all men
F3 is held outdoors, rain or shine
F3 is led in a rotating fashion by the participants
F3 always ends with a Circle Of Trust

Warm-o-Rama:
Side-straddle Hops – 25 IC
Abe Vigodas – 10 IC
Tappy Taps – 10 IC
Merkins – 9 IC
Arm Circles IC – 10 each forward small, backward small, backward large, forward large
Michael Phelps OYO

Thang 1: Coupon 11’s
With coupons, the PAX mosey to first light pole, then perform 1 derkin and 10 blockbees
Mosey to next light pole, increase derkin count by 1, decrease blockbees by 1
Continue until count is 10 derkins, 1 blockbee
Mosey to the base of Hoffa, abs for the 6

Thang 2: All about the Benjamins
PAX line up on one side of the base, facing SHOP. Exercises were split between “Coupon” and “no Coupon.”
Curls for the Girls – 25
Walking lunges to the other side of field (approximately 40 for YHC)
25 squats
Walking lunges back to coupons
Overhead Presses – 25
Walking lunges to other side of field
Hand-release Merkins – 25
Walking lunges back to coupons
Abs for the 6

Thang 3: Circuit Breaker
As we moved so quickly through the previous exercises, YHC had to go off-script to finish the hour.
The PAX split into 3 groups with either 3 or 4 PAX in each group.
Group 1 headed to COOTIES, Group 2 headed to the swings, Group 3 stayed with the coupons
Each group had to complete the following before rotating to the next station:
Station 1: 10 pull-ups per PAX
Station 2: 20 Atomic Merkins per PAX
Station 3: 20 Thrusters per PAX

Each group was able to complete 2 full circuits before time was called.

Name-o-Rama:
Cap’n Crunch, Tortuga (respect), Bloomer, Double Beef’n’Cheddar (hate), Jailbreak, JazzHands, Too Big To Fail, SAGA, Babe, Crash (hate), Crack (Q)

After the normal COT, we spent some time lifting up Bloomer and his family as they prepare for his 2.0’s upcoming surgery.