Choose Your Own Adventure

In a weird twist of fate, you find yourself inside a 1982 “choose your own adventure” book.

You’ll have to complete a number of death defying exercises to get out alive.

Full Version with Pictures is available here as a PDF.


Your school is on a field trip to the zoo, and you’re trying to catch the attention of your new crush. With your friend holding on to you shirt, you lean way over the gorilla pit and smack the largest gorilla on the back of the head. Your friend loses his grip, and now you’re eye to eye with an angry gorilla, who is trying to decide if you are another gorilla, a snack, or his long lost girlfriend.

You’ll have to do your best gorilla impression if you want to survive until the zoo keepers arrive.

Do 75 total reps in any combination of these:

Overhand Pull ups Underhand Chin ups. Toe to bar.

You’ve fallen into the hands of several elderly zombies. They will eat your brains, unless you can blend in with them.

To blend in, you must perform 300 reps on ANY of the permanent workout machines in this area. Choose any machine. Bodyweight chest press, inclined sit-up, elliptical movement, etc.

Any machine, any rep count, until your team gets to 300 reps total.

You’ve aroused the anger of time traveling cowboys. They decide to teach you a lesson by “making you dance”. With pistol shots at your head and feet. You’ll be ducking and jumping to survive.

To dodge the bullets perform 150 reps total of any combination of:
Bench dips
Box Jumps

Step ups

A rival workout gang claims Northside Park as their exclusive territory, unless you can beat them at their own game.

To prove you’re the strongest, you need to do 150 reps in any combination of:

Merkins Burpees Star Jumps Squat jumps


Out of innocent curiosity, you wandered behind the bathhouse. You walked right into a secret meeting of bully’s club called Rodney and the Wrathbones.

They’ll let you go free, but only after you do 150 of these (total reps in any combination):

Bent over rows Kettle bell swings Coupon lunges

You drank something, and it wasn’t Kool-aidTM. You can’t tell if someone laced your drink with PCP, Speed, or just the heady power rush that accompanies becoming commander in chief.

Work off your power rush and prove you’re the best by performing150 Total Reps in any combination of:
Coupon Bicep Curls
Overhead Press
Scull Crushers.