8/15/20 – Saturday Bootcamp, “The Jäzz Händz Special” Edition

“I’ll have a little bit of everything, with extra bear crawls, please…”

…said (likely) no one as they first showed up to AO Mastodon on this moderate temp, blue-skied, ever-so-slightly-muggy August morning in Wheaton, IL. We tied our record with 19 PAX posting this morning, which was a huge blast and an honor to serve as QIC for today! YHC had plenty planned, but only barely got about half of his beatdowns off the weinke and onto the turf. Some old friends like The Death Die and Welsh Dragons came back roaring and laying it on heavy.

PAX who posted:

  1. Archive
  2. Captain Crunch
  3. Banks
  4. Jäzz Händz
  5. Shiplap
  6. Noodles
  7. Too Big to Fail
  8. Big Mac
  9. Da Vinci
  10. Katniss
  11. Sparrow
  12. Chaser
  13. Crack
  14. Crash (hate!)
  15. K-Pop (hate!)
  16. Tortuga (respect!)
  17. Saga
  18. Sweet Treats (hate!)
  19. Bloomer

(Should be noted, this was F3 Wheaton’s first gathering with both “Hate” (under 20 years old) and “Respect” (over 50 years old) in a single post!)

WoR in the tennis courts, starting at about 7:02am:

  • Motivators 7x
  • Daisy pickers, 15 seconds per position
    (Leg spread, touch center, left, right—yes this has a name!)
  • Tappy-taps 10x IC
  • Arm circles
    * sml fwd 10x IC
    * lg fwd 10x IC
    * sml bkwd 10x IC
    * lg bkwd 10x IC
  • Mountain Man Poopers 15x

Mosey to Hoffa, where Death Die and some stations up the hill were prepared.

Thang 1:
Ascending B.L.I.M.P.S. + Death Die
Four “stops” marked with cones somewhat-evenly spaced up the hill. PAX will do each “letter” of BLIMPS once at the bottom of Hoffa (hill), and once again ascending the hill, in order, reps altered by the Death Die. This was confusing at first but we call caught on after a few reps. Each exercise group/set was OYO, (2x B’s first, recover. 2x L’s next, recover). The first PAX to descend the hill after each letter got to call an ab workout of their choice in order to hold for all the 6. Any trailing PAX join in until all were present. Recover between “letters” (exercises). NOT A RACE, but as we say in the Jazz Handz house: “don’t dilly dally.” Good form is key.

Burpees / Bear Crawls
5 at bottom of hill.
Bear crawl up to each station, then 5+6 (death die) = 11 burpees at each of the 4 station up the hill.
(that’s 49 total)
Mosey to descend.
Abs to hold for 6.

Lunges (1 leg is 1)
10 at bottom of hill.
10+6 (death die) = 16 lunges up the hill (disregard stops).
Mosey to descend.
Abs to hold for 6.

Imperial Walkers (2 legs are 1)
15 at bottom of hill.
15+2 (death die) = 17 imperial walkers up the hill (disregard stops).
Mosey to descend.
Abs to hold for 6.

Merkins / Mosey
20 merkins at bottom of hill.
Mosey up to each station, 5+6 (death die—can’t remember if this is what we rolled) = 11 merkins at each of the four stations up the hill.
Mosey to descend.
Abs to hold for 6.

Plank Jacks / Paula Abdul (routine)
25 plank jacks at bottom of hill.
Begin Paula Abdul routine (2 fwd, 1 bkwd). Mosey fwd 2 spaces up the hill, do 5+1 (death die) = 6 plank jacks at that station. Reverse bear crawl back down hill by one station. Stand up. Mosey fwd 2 spaces up the hill, 6 plank jacks at that station. Reverse bear crawl back down hill by one station. Stand up. Rinse and repeat until PAX reach the fence (5 stops total).
Mosey to descend.
Abs to hold for 6.

Squats / Sprint
31 at bottom of hill (1 extra from death die roll).
AYG sprint to top of hill to fence.
Mosey to descend.



Thang 2:
Pull-Up Check-Up + the “Jazz Handz Dirty Mile” (0.72 miles)
Time got the better of yours truly, so we unfortunately didn’t have time to run the “whole” dirty mile (hardly, in fact). But we did manage to do our Pull-Up Check-Up. Moseyed around east/south of Hoffa to C.O.O.T.I.E.S. where 19 PAX broke up into four stations: 1) Pull Ups,  2) Rows,  3) Al Gore’s,  4) Superman Planks. Pace-setters were PAX on pull-ups, 10x each. Once they were done, everyone rotate stations clockwise until we all had a shot at pull-ups. Moseyed back the way we came for sake of time, to what I like to call…


Thang 3:
“Welsh Dragon Alley”
PAX found a shaded stretch behind the baseball diamond with about 13 minutes left for the workout. Just enough time for WELSH DRAGONS and some fun Mary to follow. F3 Exicon definition of a Welsh Dragon:

“Remain in plank position the whole time. Bear crawl forward 4 steps, do 1 merkin, 1 plank jack, and tap the BACK of each shoulder 1 time. Repeat adding 1 rep to each exercise each time – bear crawl forward 4 steps, do 2 merkins, 2 plank jacks, 2 sets of back of shoulder taps… etc. Go until you get to 10 reps each, you’ve covered 30-50 feet, or until your arms fall off – whichever comes first.”

Wheaton PAX managed to all finish and help out the 6 with remaining reps, then moseyed back to the bottom of Hoffa for an extended

10MoM (ten minutes of Mary):
19 PAX circled up in a fairly large circumference on their backs with feet high in the air. First PAX jumps up and pushes the feet down around the circle, each man fighting to keep their legs off the ground. Followed by next PAX in line, then hit the ground legs up when back to your start position until last man finishes the circle. After about half the circle was covered, we started blitz mode to make up time and did a lightning round to finish off the whole set of PAX, to ensure each man got a chance to dish out some pain in turn. Captain Crunch had the agreeable idea to begin flutter kicks while we waited for our turn to jump up or be pushed down.

Finished right about 8:02am.

CoT / NoR:

  • Continued prayers for the health of our group and our families and community
  • Sparrow’s glassy-shardy foot to heal up! Respect (and slight concern!) for showing up, brother.
  • Glad to hear most men should have power back after storm.



After covid, along with some anxiety and annoying sleeplessness for YHC, I’ve changed my perspective on posting from “obligation and not quitting” to “I actually need and want this very badly” and “I’m so very thankful for this group of honorable, dedicated men who I can count on to show up in my life.” I’m truly so thankful for each of you HIMs, pushing me, and allowing me to serve and push you this morning.

Sidebar: a personal goal of mine is upping my PULL UPS GAME. I was glad to get a checkup in my Q this morning, I can actually get a couple without touching the ground now. Looking forward to getting better at these and hoping the rest of you PAX will join me in this!

Per suggestion of Archive, I listened to the Art of Manliness podcast featuring Dread and OBT (founders of F3), and along with Urkel’s words of encouragement last week, it inspired me to really change my perspective and motivation on inviting men. I’m starting to see my neighbors and coworkers in a new light, and notice things I never have. Loneliness, glumness, lack of motivation and purpose. Not that everyone is in such a bad way or desperately pleading for help…but now that I’ve been there myself, and have seen the hope just posting to F3 has been for me, I want other men to see and have that too. And by extension, hoping to share the Gospel of Christ in that workout and consistency (1st) dynamic, and more-so through 2nd and 3rd F events, building friendships, “guy time”, and community…along with eventual community impact.

F3 Wheaton men—let’s each strive to be a mensch: “a person of integrity and honor”. That goes for our community, our work, our schools, and most importantly in our family units. Show up. Love. Lead. Sacrifice. I am the least of these, but I am striving afresh with new vigor in this weak season of my life. I’m eager to see how I can grow in my leadership and ownership of situations through the power and camaraderie of F3 and the men who surround me.

How can you sacrifice for your loved ones this week?

How can you lead this week?

Onward! Have a restful weekend, brothers. Thankful for you all!