Backblast for 9/28 EC Late-Late Service Beatdown: “Bataan Death March Duo” (SOLO EC WITH M)

(I know this doesn’t technically count for a proper F3 event since there was only one PAX present, but wanted to backblast about it, to show you guys I’m still trying to stay on the ball and get in a workout despite anxiety and sleep being a major hinderance right now)

Backblast for EC Late-Late Service Beatdown

“Bataan Death March Duo”

PAX who posted:

  1. Jäzz Händz + M

M went for a run at 10:45am between work projects, asked if I’d like to join. I regretted not having a reprisal of @Cookies ‘ Tuesday EC workout at 6:30 am this morning, so this was a great makeup option.


Imperial Walkers

Bat wings (while walking)

(arm circles, overhead claps, seal claps, michael phelps)

Thang 1

Bataan Death March – Duo Edition

M began her run. YHC dropped and did 10 merkins. Sprinted to catch up. Resumed a slow mosey with her until her next checkpoint. She walked/ran in roughly 1:30-2:00 spurts, so between each of those phases I did either 10 Merkins or 25 LBCs.

Ended up doing a 25 minute run with 5 sets of 10 merkins, and 5 sets of 25 LBCs spread out between, with sprinting to catch up. Covered 1.7 miles in the Wheaton suburbs. Heart rate was going strong, sweat was flowing. Good mid-morning EC working for me, glad I was able to stay on it.


Listen to your wife. She loves you, and if she suggests coming for a run with her because she knows it’ll be good for you, do it. But push yourself further: show her how hard you can work, show her what F3 helps you accomplish, and show her your strength that comes from the camaraderie of all you HIMs. Show her you can work hard, and that you’re willing to do it with/for her. She’ll be impressed, you’ll get a good workout, and your bond and time spent together will be greater and deeper.

10/24 – Revenge of Five Alive: The Soggy Monkey Humper Edition

On Saturday 24th at 7:00 am, 15 PAX (including 1 FNG, “Ben”) posted on this chilly yet beautiful late-October morning. What’s more, a good half of them strutted into the sunshine for a two-fer after posting at Tarpit at 5:30 for @Da Vinci’s Dance Party Beatdown. We congregated with proper social distancing in the EAST parking lot (*gasp*) to begin a beatdown that didn’t disappoint!

PwP (PAX who Posted):

  1. Wet Burrito
  2. Captain Crunch
  3. K-Pop
  4. Crack
  5. Smokey
  6. Tortuga
  7. T-bone
  8. Sparrow
  9. Saga
  10. Da Vinci
  11. Beaker (FNG, welcome!)
  12. Jolly
  13. Too Big To Fail
  14. Double Beef ’n Cheddar
  15. Jäzz Händz


(Grab coupons right away before warmup, we’ll need ‘em later)

  1. Motivators 7x
  2. Goofballs 25x IC (best ready-position-move pose IMHO)
  3. Abe Vigodas IC 20x IC

Scoop up those coups and mosey quickly to NE entry of baseball diamond. Drop coupons, then “JAZZ HANDZ MOSEY” (alternating jazz hands and overhead claps) across the AO to normal West lot near first lamppost for…

Thang 1: Revenge of Five Alive
Run the short mile stopping at each lamp post (25 total) until the Thang is complete near the pool house. 

Of note: a brutal and “unexpected*** hardship” was encountered with a massive water barrier at the very beginning of our circuit around the 25 lamp posts. Some PAX took the high ground and didn’t get too terribly soggy, whereas some less-awake PAX ran through the reeds and low ground and basically soaked up most of the water in their socks and shoes. Thankfully our movement kept us warm, and a hot shower for YHC afterward the beatdown never felt so good. #prunyfeet

***unexpected is a poor term for the sake that @Tortuga warned us of “a puddle” along the path…though, your QIC decided, from the brief and somewhat lacking description, would be no problem to traverse. Needless to say, I was wrong and now know that if Tortuga speaks up, LISTEN AND LISTEN GOOD! The rest of the beatdown was a cold and soggy one from the ankles-down.

Exercise order:

  1. Burpees
  2. Monkey Humpers IC (2 is 1)
  3. Star Jumps
  4. Dive Bombers 
  5. Squats
  • 1st Lamp – 1 Burpee
  • 2nd Lamp – 2 Burpees – this progresses up to the 5th lamp post and doing 5 Burpees
  • 6th Lamp – 5 Burpees, 1 Monkey Humper IC – these increase by 1 until the 10th lamp post
  • 11th Lamp – 5 Burpees, 5 Monkey Humpers, 1 Star Jump – The Star Jumps Increase until the 15th lamp post
  • 16th Lamp – 5 Burpees, 5 Monkey Humpers, 5 Star Jump, 1 Dive Bomber – The Dive Bombers increase until the 20th lamp post
  • 21st Lamp – 5 Burpees, 5 Monkey Humpers, 5 Star Jumps, 5 Dive Bombers, 1 Squat – The Squats increase until the 25th lamp post
  • 25th Lamp – The routine culminates with 5 Burpees, 5 Monkey Humpers, 5 Star Jumps, 5 Dive Bombers, and 5 Squats
    • We did our final lamppost as a unit of 15 PAX all together to finish out strong.

From there, run the rest of the mile to coupons left by baseball diamond.

For those of you counting at home, that adds up to the following:

  • 115 Burpees
  • 90 Monkey Humpers IC
  • 65 Star Jumps
  • 40 Dive Bombers
  • 15 Squats

Thang 2: Baby Entertainment Training

PAX counted off by 4’s and were assigned a base on the diamond (1’s = first base, 2’s = second base, 3’s = third base, 4’s = home plate).

Grab your coupon, carry it like a kid who wants to be flown like an airplane and use sound FX for bonus points. Fly your coupon to your assigned plate. Each base is a different coupon “kid” exercise. Roughly 4 PAX per plate/station. Each plate has a unique kid/coupon based exercise. Proceed in evenly-distributed groups around stations. First station’s PAX to all finish their exercises call “ROTATE” and everyone moves along to the next base whether you finished your exercise or not.

1’s First Base: Swing the baby – 30x kettle bell swings OYO

“fly your baby to the next base”

2’s Second Base: Toss the baby – 30x overhead presses OYO

“fly your baby to the next base”

3’s Third Base: Kids curls – 30x coupon curls

“fly your baby to the next base”

4’s Home Base: Bounce the baby – 30x goblet squats

Sadly, YHC didn’t have enough time to whip out the signature move of Welsh Dragons. I had a special twist in mind so maybe next month I’ll bust out the modified WD’s FTW!

Drop the coupons, run to outfield for some 6MoM


  • Guantanamos, divided circle in half and two PAX ran at once to speed it up.
  • American Hammers, 20x IC 

(Thank you @Captain Crunch for being my pseudo-2Q)

Grab coupons, circle up around the flag for…


  • Smokey’s interviewing for a new job, prayers for direction. In meantime, his current role is growing and adding responsibility
  • T-bone has a new job or new job developments (apologies, I didn’t catch the details)
  • Praise for @Archive’s WILD BUT HEALTHY in-home delivery, just him and his wife until help arrived! Coming home soon from the hospital, everyone’s doing pretty well and resting up.
  • Shout out to @TBTF’s big 4-0 bday, and thanks to all PAX who showed up and dropped off a bottle of beer. I hear we ALMOST got to “99 bottles of beer on his (porch) wall!” Well done everyone, and congrats to TBTF!
  • Crash had some difficulties in KC and will be coming back soon, hoping to hear some good news about his competitions (volleyball? Again sorry the circle was so big I didn’t catch the details). Something about keys being locked out and AAA showing up, PTL.
  • Continued prayers for our country, leadership, and the presidential candidates.
  • Not mentioned at CoT: Pray for @Noodles’ & Co., as his dad has surprisingly just passed away, and they are trying to make arrangements being across borders with Mexico and with COVID-19 restrictions. A very difficult and devastating time for them, be thinking of how we can lift him up in prayer and practical support.

Wrapped up our morning with a blessed and sunny Coffeeteria around the frosty picnic tables, with catered-in Dunkin’, thanks to @T-bone’s generosity. Lots of laughs, mumble chatter, and chit chat ensued, but we wrapped up around 8:30 as winter seems to be drawing near and the temps are dropping. A stationary PAX isn’t as impervious to the cold as one mid-burpee. Disperse into the weekend strong and ALIVE (FIVE ALIVE!)

(Thanks to @Banks for this awesome custom designed beatdown (Five Alive) that suits our beautiful AO very well. It was my very first workout when I showed up as an FNG in April 2019, and I almost didn’t come back! So glad I did, I could tell this beatdown didn’t disappoint—most of the PAX had some complaining-style mumble-chatter going on along the way, which really did this QIC’s heart some good!)

9/19/20 – Backblast – Saturday Bootcamp: “Good things come in threes”

14 PAX posted this morning on an extra dewy and chilly morning:

  1. Wet Burrito
  2. Archive
  3. Tortuga (respect)
  4. Cookies (FNG, welcome)
  5. DBC (hate)
  6. Sparrow
  7. Noodles
  8. Smokey
  9. Nickerdoodle (FNG, welcome – yes this is his new official name!)
  10. Saga
  11. Captain Crunch
  12. Da Vinci
  13. Banks
  14. Jazz Handz

By the end we all had morning dew puddles in our shoes and gloves as souvenirs. In true Jazz Handz fashion, I couldn’t just make it a stock set of routines from the exicon. YHC is always trying to one up myself from last time to get up to a beatdown the other pax bemoan and remember. Here’s how the morning went:


  • 7 motivators IC
  • 15 windmills
  • 20 goof balls IC
  • Daisy pickers (touch each foot) timed by Q
  • Arm circles OYO forwards and backwards, big and small

Get the blood moving, let’s follow the Q:

PAX each grabbed a coupon, and moseyed in a single file line up Hoffa, around the upper perimeter, and down again. Drop the coupons at foot of Hoffa for later use, count off into groups of 3 (had 4 groups of 3, and 1 group of 2). Then pax dispersed to the various stations listed below for the first Thang.

Thang 1

“Dora’s Twisted Sisters”  

Three pax & three exercises per station. Six minutes per station. 4 stations total.

This took much longer than expected simply due to learning curve and communicating the “game mechanics” of this twisted routine. Once explained we were off to the races with my faithful 2Q Da Vinci calling when to rotate your group of three to the next station.

The “Dora 1-2-3” exercises per 3 pax were 150 merkins, 250 LBCs, 350 squats. If you finish before hitting all 4 stations, start another Dora count over with 100 merkins, 200 LBCs, 300 squats! Once you’ve hit all four stations and your team has complete at least one Dora count, run a lap around Hoffa, stop at coupons and do a 10x rep coupon workout of your choice. Hold for next group to finish and do a lap with them. Rinse and repeat. Until all pax have completed their 123 workouts at all 4 stations.


Each set of 3 pax worked a station for 6 minutes, with a little mumble chatter and moseying between rotating stations. When the “pace” (traveling) exercise per station had been executed per pax, teammates flapjacked within their station like normal Dora (but there are three tasks instead of two to maintain:

  1. COOTEEs (Circle is Outdoor Training Exercise Equipment)
    Pull ups + Sprint to flag/back again (pace) + 123 goal
    6 minutes, then rotate
    Dips + Sprint around playground/pavilion (pace) + 123 goal
    6 minutes, then rotate
    Mount climbers (inclined?) + bear crawl up around slide / crab walk down around other side (pace) + 123 goal
    6 minutes, then rotate
  4. Base of Hoffa
    1 pax runs (pace), 1 pax coupon work of choice + 123 goal
    • This station can accommodate two groups
      6 minutes, then rotate

Thang 2

“The Jazz Handz Special: 9x Welsh Dragons”

In Welsh Drago alley, just north of the baseball diamond.

Reminder how this exercise works: Remain in plank position the whole time. Bear crawl forward 4 steps, do 1 merkin, 1 plank jack, and tap the BACK of each shoulder 1 time. Repeat adding 1 rep to each exercise each time – bear crawl forward 4 steps, do 2 merkins, 2 plank jacks, 2 sets of back of shoulder taps… etc. Go until you get to 10 reps each, you’ve covered 30-50 feet, or until your arms fall off – whichever comes first.


Sadly no time for proper Mary. Just a little planking while we held for Six to circle up at the flag.


Prayers for work transitions and new opportunities

Praise that Archive and his entire family’s covid tests came back negative including the false-positive on his MIL.

Continued prayer for Jazz Handz sleep and anxiety

Grateful to have our two new FNG’s: Cookies and Nickerdoodle


So thankful for you men and the drive this group has instilled in me. Let’s each work towards being a “mensch” in our community and family. Mensch is a yiddish word for a man of integrity and honor. That starts with you against yourself. If you can muster up the nerve to workout with a bunch of crazy men in the mud and mire of an early morning, you can go back to your homes and communities and live with that same energy. Sacrifice and serve, watch out for the “sixes” in your life—who is trailing behind? Who can you bolster up and encourage? Also, who do you know who can benefit from the community and encouragement that is F3? Look out for those men who need this, who might not even know they need it. Watch their backs, hold for the six. Aye.


8/15/20 – Saturday Bootcamp, “The Jäzz Händz Special” Edition

“I’ll have a little bit of everything, with extra bear crawls, please…”

…said (likely) no one as they first showed up to AO Mastodon on this moderate temp, blue-skied, ever-so-slightly-muggy August morning in Wheaton, IL. We tied our record with 19 PAX posting this morning, which was a huge blast and an honor to serve as QIC for today! YHC had plenty planned, but only barely got about half of his beatdowns off the weinke and onto the turf. Some old friends like The Death Die and Welsh Dragons came back roaring and laying it on heavy.

PAX who posted:

  1. Archive
  2. Captain Crunch
  3. Banks
  4. Jäzz Händz
  5. Shiplap
  6. Noodles
  7. Too Big to Fail
  8. Big Mac
  9. Da Vinci
  10. Katniss
  11. Sparrow
  12. Chaser
  13. Crack
  14. Crash (hate!)
  15. K-Pop (hate!)
  16. Tortuga (respect!)
  17. Saga
  18. Sweet Treats (hate!)
  19. Bloomer

(Should be noted, this was F3 Wheaton’s first gathering with both “Hate” (under 20 years old) and “Respect” (over 50 years old) in a single post!)

WoR in the tennis courts, starting at about 7:02am:

  • Motivators 7x
  • Daisy pickers, 15 seconds per position
    (Leg spread, touch center, left, right—yes this has a name!)
  • Tappy-taps 10x IC
  • Arm circles
    * sml fwd 10x IC
    * lg fwd 10x IC
    * sml bkwd 10x IC
    * lg bkwd 10x IC
  • Mountain Man Poopers 15x

Mosey to Hoffa, where Death Die and some stations up the hill were prepared.

Thang 1:
Ascending B.L.I.M.P.S. + Death Die
Four “stops” marked with cones somewhat-evenly spaced up the hill. PAX will do each “letter” of BLIMPS once at the bottom of Hoffa (hill), and once again ascending the hill, in order, reps altered by the Death Die. This was confusing at first but we call caught on after a few reps. Each exercise group/set was OYO, (2x B’s first, recover. 2x L’s next, recover). The first PAX to descend the hill after each letter got to call an ab workout of their choice in order to hold for all the 6. Any trailing PAX join in until all were present. Recover between “letters” (exercises). NOT A RACE, but as we say in the Jazz Handz house: “don’t dilly dally.” Good form is key.

Burpees / Bear Crawls
5 at bottom of hill.
Bear crawl up to each station, then 5+6 (death die) = 11 burpees at each of the 4 station up the hill.
(that’s 49 total)
Mosey to descend.
Abs to hold for 6.

Lunges (1 leg is 1)
10 at bottom of hill.
10+6 (death die) = 16 lunges up the hill (disregard stops).
Mosey to descend.
Abs to hold for 6.

Imperial Walkers (2 legs are 1)
15 at bottom of hill.
15+2 (death die) = 17 imperial walkers up the hill (disregard stops).
Mosey to descend.
Abs to hold for 6.

Merkins / Mosey
20 merkins at bottom of hill.
Mosey up to each station, 5+6 (death die—can’t remember if this is what we rolled) = 11 merkins at each of the four stations up the hill.
Mosey to descend.
Abs to hold for 6.

Plank Jacks / Paula Abdul (routine)
25 plank jacks at bottom of hill.
Begin Paula Abdul routine (2 fwd, 1 bkwd). Mosey fwd 2 spaces up the hill, do 5+1 (death die) = 6 plank jacks at that station. Reverse bear crawl back down hill by one station. Stand up. Mosey fwd 2 spaces up the hill, 6 plank jacks at that station. Reverse bear crawl back down hill by one station. Stand up. Rinse and repeat until PAX reach the fence (5 stops total).
Mosey to descend.
Abs to hold for 6.

Squats / Sprint
31 at bottom of hill (1 extra from death die roll).
AYG sprint to top of hill to fence.
Mosey to descend.



Thang 2:
Pull-Up Check-Up + the “Jazz Handz Dirty Mile” (0.72 miles)
Time got the better of yours truly, so we unfortunately didn’t have time to run the “whole” dirty mile (hardly, in fact). But we did manage to do our Pull-Up Check-Up. Moseyed around east/south of Hoffa to C.O.O.T.I.E.S. where 19 PAX broke up into four stations: 1) Pull Ups,  2) Rows,  3) Al Gore’s,  4) Superman Planks. Pace-setters were PAX on pull-ups, 10x each. Once they were done, everyone rotate stations clockwise until we all had a shot at pull-ups. Moseyed back the way we came for sake of time, to what I like to call…


Thang 3:
“Welsh Dragon Alley”
PAX found a shaded stretch behind the baseball diamond with about 13 minutes left for the workout. Just enough time for WELSH DRAGONS and some fun Mary to follow. F3 Exicon definition of a Welsh Dragon:

“Remain in plank position the whole time. Bear crawl forward 4 steps, do 1 merkin, 1 plank jack, and tap the BACK of each shoulder 1 time. Repeat adding 1 rep to each exercise each time – bear crawl forward 4 steps, do 2 merkins, 2 plank jacks, 2 sets of back of shoulder taps… etc. Go until you get to 10 reps each, you’ve covered 30-50 feet, or until your arms fall off – whichever comes first.”

Wheaton PAX managed to all finish and help out the 6 with remaining reps, then moseyed back to the bottom of Hoffa for an extended

10MoM (ten minutes of Mary):
19 PAX circled up in a fairly large circumference on their backs with feet high in the air. First PAX jumps up and pushes the feet down around the circle, each man fighting to keep their legs off the ground. Followed by next PAX in line, then hit the ground legs up when back to your start position until last man finishes the circle. After about half the circle was covered, we started blitz mode to make up time and did a lightning round to finish off the whole set of PAX, to ensure each man got a chance to dish out some pain in turn. Captain Crunch had the agreeable idea to begin flutter kicks while we waited for our turn to jump up or be pushed down.

Finished right about 8:02am.

CoT / NoR:

  • Continued prayers for the health of our group and our families and community
  • Sparrow’s glassy-shardy foot to heal up! Respect (and slight concern!) for showing up, brother.
  • Glad to hear most men should have power back after storm.



After covid, along with some anxiety and annoying sleeplessness for YHC, I’ve changed my perspective on posting from “obligation and not quitting” to “I actually need and want this very badly” and “I’m so very thankful for this group of honorable, dedicated men who I can count on to show up in my life.” I’m truly so thankful for each of you HIMs, pushing me, and allowing me to serve and push you this morning.

Sidebar: a personal goal of mine is upping my PULL UPS GAME. I was glad to get a checkup in my Q this morning, I can actually get a couple without touching the ground now. Looking forward to getting better at these and hoping the rest of you PAX will join me in this!

Per suggestion of Archive, I listened to the Art of Manliness podcast featuring Dread and OBT (founders of F3), and along with Urkel’s words of encouragement last week, it inspired me to really change my perspective and motivation on inviting men. I’m starting to see my neighbors and coworkers in a new light, and notice things I never have. Loneliness, glumness, lack of motivation and purpose. Not that everyone is in such a bad way or desperately pleading for help…but now that I’ve been there myself, and have seen the hope just posting to F3 has been for me, I want other men to see and have that too. And by extension, hoping to share the Gospel of Christ in that workout and consistency (1st) dynamic, and more-so through 2nd and 3rd F events, building friendships, “guy time”, and community…along with eventual community impact.

F3 Wheaton men—let’s each strive to be a mensch: “a person of integrity and honor”. That goes for our community, our work, our schools, and most importantly in our family units. Show up. Love. Lead. Sacrifice. I am the least of these, but I am striving afresh with new vigor in this weak season of my life. I’m eager to see how I can grow in my leadership and ownership of situations through the power and camaraderie of F3 and the men who surround me.

How can you sacrifice for your loved ones this week?

How can you lead this week?

Onward! Have a restful weekend, brothers. Thankful for you all!

8.10.19 – Jäzz Händz VQ: “Game of Life: Introduction of the ‘Death Die’ “

Official Backblast for previous Saturday, August 10, 2019 with YHC @Jäzz Händz VQ-ing it up! It’s about time, right fellas?

I like to call this one:

“Game of Life: Introduction of the ‘Death Die'”


5 PAX (@Captain Crunch (AJ), @Archive, @F3Banks, @TBTF, and @Jäzz Händz) posted at MASTO-CON for some fun and games on this cool yet humid morning. As VQIC, yours truly lead the workout in true @Jäzz Händz fashion as a *co-op board game* with a twist: the introduction of a new way of manipulating the punishments at random—the “Death Die.” This new tool to be used at will by any future PAX on Q is a half-coupon adorned with dice pips, and makes for an interesting dynamic to beat down the PAX, or *perhaps* offer some occasional relief…maybe.

*WOR* in the parking lot, in cadence:

• 7x Motivators

• 25 Mountain Man Poopers (sped up)

*Thang 1: “Double Trouble”* _(Co-op Strategy, “House Rules” Edition)_


Starting on the west end of Mastodon, we prepared to do the short circuit around the board (the park path) heading north + east,following the lamp posts as our “spaces” for each successive Double Trouble exercise. We grabbed a token (full sized coupon) to carry around the board as a team, rotating who carried at each lamp post. There were 20 spaces total, each space doubling the exercise from the space before. Objective is to complete circuit around board and bring the token back to its home.

_Breakdown of each spaces exercises:_

• Spaces 1-4: Burpees (1x, 2x, 4x, 8x)

• Spaces 5-8: Monkey Humpers (2x, 4x, 8x, 16x)

• Spaces 9-12: Lunges: (3x, 6x, 12x, 24x)

• Spaces 13-16: Imperial Walkers: (4x, 8x, 16x, 32x)

• Spaces 17-20: LBCs: (5x, 10x, 20x, 40x)

Prior to embarking, however, we rolled the Death Die. @F3Banks rolled a *2* for the group, which meant every _human_ we passed along the way caused the group to *_go back 2 spaces_* and repeat that space’s exercise, then continue on as normal. If the humans were accompanied by an *odd* number of dogs, PAX had to *_double_* the amount of spaces to double back on. *Even* number of dogs: _skip ahead one space._ (This never happened).

*Summary of Rules* (per @F3Banks’ “2” roll):

• 1 human: back 2 spaces.

• 2 humans: back 4 spaces.

• 3 humans: back 6 spaces.

• 1 human + 1 or 3 dogs: back 4 spaces.

• 1 human + 2 or 4 dogs, BONUS: skip the next space.

PAX counted off, and the token and death die passed around the group in numerical order at each lamp post. Since YHC hadn’t play tested this particular game of horrors prior to his actual introduction to the other PAX, we had a bit of *“trouble”* keeping up with the rules as we encountered more humans and dogs than expected. Math and Monkey Humpers don’t always go well together, either—despite the blood rush to the head.

After getting caught in a particularly nasty death loop in spaces 9-12 due to every human in the park and their little dogs too converging at our exact location all at once, @Captain Crunch (AJ) suggested a set of *House Rules*: roll the Death Die when you pass a human: *1-3*=PAX don’t do the penalty of going back X spaces, while *4-6*=we do the penalty. After roughly 90 lunges without relief (prior to induction of house rules), we finally made it to the Walkers and LBCs, only stumbling upon 1 or 2 penalty humans for the remaining duration.

The beauty of the Death Die and Double Trouble is, if you’ve got a handful of different exercises planned (abs, legs, upper, lower, etc), this randomness can turn a sample selection of exercises into a full out LUNGE FEST and YHC hasn’t been able to walk up stairs for the past 3 days thanks to this factor.

🏃‍♂️ YHC/VQIC: “I’ll have a little of everything please.”

🦹‍♂️ 🎲 Death Die and passers-by: “YOUR LEGS WON’T LAST THE HOUR!”

Upon reaching the 20th space, we grabbed the token and completed its journey around the board back to its starting location, via moseying to the bottom of the hill for a quick water break and on to our next game.

*Thang 2: “Dungeons and Dragons”*


A short but potentially bitter “game.” In this instance, the Death Die was moderately kind to us.

*The Rules:*

• PAX roll *_2D6 + 4 with advantage,_* and do that many *Welsh Dragons* (a real F3 exercise! See below) across the field OYO.

    – (laymen terms: roll 2 death dice, take the lower of the two numbers, and add 4 for your rep count.)

@F3Banks and @Captain Crunch (AJ) each happened to roll a *3*, so with no decision-making necessary, we got on our hands and toes and Welsh Dragon crawled across the field for 7 reps.

Here’s the F3 definition of a Welsh Dragon:

Remain in _[high]_ plank position the whole time. Bear crawl forward 4 steps, do 1 merkin, 1 plank jack, and tap the back of each shoulder 1 time. Repeat, adding 1 rep to each exercise each time – bear crawl forward 4 steps, do 2 merkins, 2 plank jacks, 2 sets of back of shoulder taps… etc. Go until you get to 10 reps each, you’ve covered 30-50 feet, or until your arms fall off – whichever comes first.

Our Death Die dictated a rep count of 7, which is right around the time it really started to burn. Next time YHC will tweak the rules so PAX have to push through the burn instead of ending it there.

*Thang 3: Death Deck a la Fire Drill*


Each PAX drew 2 cards from the F3 exercise death deck (thanks to @Captain Crunch (AJ) for bringing it along). First card: your exercise. Second card: the rep count. Stood in a circle and did high knees (fire drill style) between each PAX calling their exercise for the group. Can’t remember exactly what was drawn and called, but it involved a DIY version of heels to the sky, butt kicks, a lap around the hill, and 100x high knees millennial style to wrap it up.


• Side planks

• Guantanamo (2x)

PAX stashed the newly forged Death Die in a secure location (is it secret? Is it safe?), and did an AYG sprint to the flag for COT, followed by victory cinnamon rolls and coffee, and strange and enlightening discussion of the origins of the work “merkins.” Warning: NSFW.


• Crunch recovering health

• Archive job hunt

• Jazz hands M’s job hunt

I was humbled and honored to serve as Q for first time! Surprisingly sore despite feeling like the pain wasn’t brought as hard as usual (all those lunges!). I know I’ll Q again soon, and I’ll hopefully give @F3Banks something to complain about eventually 😉