3.30.19 5 Alive or 5 Alarm?

3 PAX Arrived in the gloom for a friendly Saturday Beatdown from yours truly. Banks (QIC), Captain Crunch, and FNG – Jazz Hands

It started the same as most Saturdays do with a


7x Motivators

15x Tin Soldiers

From there our Q had a new routine that he wanted to try out on the unsuspecting PAX. There was some debate over the name of the Thang, originally the Q wanted to call it 5 Alive, but after it was over Captain Crunch suggested the name 5 Alarm. I will let you be the judge of what the final name should be.

The Thang:

*It should be noted that Captain Crunch was feeling particularly motivated this morning and decided to do the entire routine with a ruck on his back (respect!)

  • Run the short mile stopping at each lamp post until the Thang is complete
  • 1st Lamp – 1 Burpee
  • 2nd Lamp – 2 Burpees – this progresses up to the 5th lamp post and doing 5 Burpees
  • 6th Lamp – 5 Burpees, 1 Merkin – The Merkins increase by 1 until the 10th lamp post
  • 11th Lamp – 5 Burpees, 5 Merkins, 1 Star Jump – The Star Jumps Increase until the 15th lamp post
  • 16th Lamp – 5 Burpees, 5 Merkins, 5 Star Jump, 1 Squat – The Squats increase until the 20th lamp post
  • 21st Lamp – 5 Burpees, 5 Merkins, 5 Star Jumps, 5 Squats, 1 Dive Bomber – The Dive Bombers increase until the 25th lamp post
  • 25th Lamp – The routine culminates with 5 Burpees, 5 Merkins, 5 Star Jumps, 5 Squats, and 5 Dive Bombers
  • From there, run the rest of the mile

For those of you counting at home, that adds up to the following:

  • 115 Burpees
  • 90 Merkins
  • 65 Star Jumps
  • 40 Squats
  • 15 Dive Bombers

From there we went into

Thang 2:

A Modified Dora 1-2-3 featuring: 25 Burpees, 50 Pull Ups, 75 Merkins, 100 Squats

  • While one PAX was completing the exercise, one PAX ran up the hill and back whil the other performed a wall sit


Prayers for Motivation, Safe Travels, Health of the Family.

Glad to have FNG Jazz Hands join us for the beatdown! Avon also came to join us all for coffeeteria.

3.16.19 – Seasons of Lunge! (525,600 lunges)

Backblast by Crunch:

It was frosty enough day to keep one’s jacket on through a good workout. As a good PAX, your narrator posted, feeling fit and prepared (he thought) for the beatdown delivered by QIC-Banks. Unbidden, a random cocky thought went through our PAX’s head: I have my watch, that doesn’t mean I need to use it. I’m game for whatever’s coming. Live in the present, man. It’ll be over before you know it…The day began as normal as any other:

Warm-o-Rama / The Standard:

  • Motivators IC x7
  • Tin Soldiers IC x20

Thang #1: Complacency

  • Run a Mile

An opener mile was no surprising play. It was at this point, dear reader, that our self-confident PAX began trying to guess what was next. He was fairly certain more than half of the running was behind him for the day, and we ended by the coupon pile—a typical enough Banks move. Was it Hodor or Colt 45 today? The QIC passed by the coupon pile without a second thought, and that’s when it got interesting:

Thang #2: Aiken-Bernie Legs

  • Aiken Legs
    • 20 Squats
    • 20 Box Jumps IC (jump in a square)
    • 20 Lunges (just 10 each leg!)
    • 20 Split Jacks
  • Bernie, Burny Legs
    • Bernie Sanders up the hill
    • 20 Star Jumps or Monkey Humpers or Oblique Squats
    • Lunge down the hill (about 40 lunges)

Well that was a Thing. It was some Crunch level madness to go from Aiken to Bernie and THEN do lunges down a hill… Our foolhardy PAX thought “how much time is left? Wait… did I say I wouldn’t check?”

  • Repeat Aiken + Bernie, Burny 4 more times…

WHAT IS THIS??? Seriously, it’s got to be close to time now… Banks always ends promptly… live in the present…

Thang #3: The Rest-Stop

  • Partner Exercise: People’s Chair at the Lake Tree / run up the hill and back (x3 each partner)
  • Limp/Run a quarter mile around the Bridges

At this point, I don’t think I could fully feel my legs. This portion was definitely a wind-down by comparison. I think our 1/4 mile time was about half the pace of our original mile. Bumped in to Avon at the end, who posted for coffee despite a back-injury. Mosey to the flag for a wrap-up.

6MoM (6 Minutes of Mary):

  • Flutters (AMRAP 30 sec)
  • LBCs (AMRAP 30 sec)
  • Dolly (AMRAP 30 sec)
  • American Hammer (AMRAP 30 sec)

(okay fine just 2 Min of Mary, Banks ends promptly.)


Prayers — prayers for personal discipline and courage for the week ahead, for wisdom in prioritizing and encouragement for PAX and their families to make it through the month.

For those of you keeping track at home, that was:

  • 5 Bernie Hills
  • 20 Oblique Squats / 30 Star Jumps / 30 Monkey Humpers
  • 100 Squats / 100 Box Jumps (IC) / 100 Split Jacks
  • 300 Lunges
  • ~2 min of People’s chair + some other stuff

It’s two days later, and I’m still getting out of my chair like an old man. Good times.

Thought of the Day: Maybe Banks will get the 45min week-day slots from here on out. I’m in danger of getting in shape.

TODO: figure out permissions for f3wheaton; also, stretch more.