This workout was designed so that someday, somewhere, a man would make an intelligent comment about the Old Testament, and get some raised eyebrows from those around him. “How would you know anything about that?” they ask incredulously. “Well, you see, I one time did this workout…
“Motivators”, which were actually side straddle hops.
Mountain man poopers
The Creation of the Universe
1 In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. 2 The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.
Hold Superman like you’re hovering over the face of the waters.
Progress to Al Gore
God makes man: Man Makers X 10
The Garden of Eden
Calf raises around the garden. Eye to eye with your fellow PAX, enjoying relationship and a non-stressful exercise. Pass an apple from PAX to PAX until somebody succumbs to temptation and bites the apple.
The Fall of Man
Saga bites the apple. All hell breaks loose. 10 burpees.
Pax pair up and complete 100 merkins and 100 squats together, then choose an animal and do that crawl up the hill, two-by-two. Circle up at the top of the hill to form an ark, then do flutter kicks and leg raises. The ark lands on Mt. Ararat.
The Tower of Babel
“Come, let us build ourselves a city and a tower with its top in the heavens, … And the Lord came down to see the city and the tower… and there confuse their language, so that they may not understand one another’s speech.” PAX TOWER/Human Pyramid.
Call of Abraham
God calls Abraham to leave his home. Abraham follows God. Abraham believes God’s promise even though in his own lifetime he didn’t see all of it fulfilled. The promise was true, and Abraham became a mighty nation. AMRAP Big boy situps 2 Minutes.
We give Isaac a miss.
Jacob and Esau
Jacob grasped the heal, we do one set of pull ups, your personal max. God renamed Jacob into “Israel” Jacob had 12 sons, who became the 12 tribes of israel. One of them was Joseph.
Joseph and the Coat of many Colors
Chest presses while we learned that Joseph was enslaved by his brothers. God had a plan for Joseph to be the leader of Egypt, a savior of his people, and the training ground for all of that was slavery and prison. Joseph saved his family by storing up grain before the entire world got hit by a famine.
Slavery in Egypt
Joseph’s family (Israel and his sons) were saved by traveling to Egypt and getting fed, but eventually things took a turn for the worse. Pharaoh enslaved the Jews. They spent their time making bricks. The PAX did 20 grave diggers, then a rifle carry up hoffa.
Exodus: Let my people go
God gives Moses a special upbringing and leadership training, and then tells him to go talk to Pharaoh. Moses complains, but it turns out God was right. Moses tells Pharaoh that God says “let my people go.” During the 10 plagues, God told his people to paint their doorways with the blood of a lamb, so that the angel of death would pass over their house. That sounds strange, but Christians also believe that the blood of Jesus is also able to spare us from death. PAX do squat thrusters reminiscent of painting an overhead doorway.
After 10 plagues and the death of his son, Pharaoh lets them go.
God gives Moses the 10 commandments while they are in the desert. Pax do 10 block merkins (later in the workout).
Wandering in the wilderness
God’s people make it right up to the edge of the promised land, but they refused to obey God and go into it, so he told them they could wander for a while (40 years) while they thought about it. PAX go for a fast jog (a fog) with an emphasis on picking up the 6, which creates the sensation of wandering.
PAX enter the promised land and enjoy some much needed rest.
The Old Testament is a beautifully written collection of history, poetry and prophecy. It tells the story of a God who desires relationship with us. If you find yourself asking “Why God?”, read the Old Testament and ask yourself “Why People?” People do some silly things, and God keeps moving towards us in relationship.