7.27.21 – HAMILTON: the beatdown. Glee Week Day 2

A traditional beatdown, based on a 245 year old tradition called “America”.

Disclaimer: If you eat cinderblock today, that’s on you. I told you not to hold it above your mouth. 

WOR: National Aerobic championship theme. About 50 Side Straddle Hops, along with Mountain Man Poopers, Block Kicks, Side Lunges, Arm Circles.

Hamilton 1:The ten duel commandments

Repeat each exercise until they song names the next number.

  1. Squat Thrusters
  2. Grave Diggers 
  3. Goblet Squats
  4. Kettle Bell Swings
  5. Scull Crushers
  6. Rows
  7. Thrusters
  8. Curls
  9. Coupon Lunge

Hamilton 2 – M.O.N.K.E.Y- My SHot

Comparable to the basketball game HORSE, but on the Monkey Bars. Done to the tune of “My Shot” from Hamilton.

You and a partner spread out around the playground. Weaker PAX issues the first challenge, i.e. “traverse this section of monkey bars backwards without touching the ground.” 

If the challenger succeeds and the second pax fails, he gets the letter M, and so on until one pax spells MONK or MONKEY and the game is over. Loser does burpees until the other pax finish. 

(Note, we played this game for quite a while, since PAX were evenly matched and the challenges kept coming.)

Do-Re-Mi

Once one of each, anytime Julie Andrews says it. 

Do – Burpee

Re – Starjump

Mi – Squat

Fa – Bonnie Blaire 

Sol – D Bombers

La – Bird dog

Ti – Mtn Climbers

Do – Burpee

I think She sings these words at least 10 times. Near the end of the song, it got pretty absurd.

HAMILTON 3 – You’ll Be back

Divide into two groups. The “American Colonies” group runs while “The British Empire” group does burpees. It’s up to the revolutionaries to decide if or when they return and let the British stop burpeeing and run. The only required parameter is that the Americans be back before the 3.5 minute song is over.

In a brilliant twist of genius, Benedict Arnold Saga reset the song, thereby giving 1.5 minutes of Burpees to the Americans. This is what games were made for.

Moleskin: Say no to dueling.

COT
NOR

Welcome 8 Track.

7.26.21 — GLEE WEEK: A “Wicked” Ruck Day

Having missed out on the previous three weeks of nonsense, YHC was eager to dive back in, and SAGA had provided the perfect opportunity, a chance to Q a musical-themed beatdown. 14 unsuspecting PAX (Beaker, Katniss, Hot Box, Sparrow, SAGA, Crack, Jolly, Tortuga, Big Mac, Cookies, Panhandle, Shiplap, DaVinci, Noodles, Captain Crunch (QIC)) posted with me to start the week in style.

Warm-o-Rama

  • Mountain Man Poopers IC x 10
  • Abe Vigoda IC x 6
  • Michael Phelps OYO

No One Mourns the Wicked (6:40) / The Wizard and I (5:09)

  • Ruck a mile

Intro to Rivalry: green team vs white team. Best team in each category earns one point

What is this feeling? (3:33)

  • Just Bearcrawl ruck drag (furthest team overall wins) Green Team: 1, White Team: 0

Popular (3:45)

  • Curls + Blockees on every “Popular” (most combined curls wins) Green Team: 1, White Team: 1

Defying Gravity (5:54)

  • Dora-Style Pairs for Bernies + Thrusters (most combined thrusters wins) Green Team: 1, White Team: 2

Penalty Time: No Good Deed goes unpunished!

No Good Deed (3:32)

  • Flying Monkey Humpers (10 Monkey Humpers + 3 Star Jumps, repeat until dead) + On the phrase “Good Deed” = 1 Burpee per point your team earned (The PAX were spared from this by the Q running overtime)

For Good (5:07)

  • Side Plank for the 5 min, switching to the “Elphaba” hand / “Glinda” hand when either sings, or High Plank when both are singing.
    This was fun to watch / listen to, but the best part was practicing it the night before and feeling how awful it was to plank for so long to a slow song with long pauses and imagining (correctly) the mumblechatter to come. It did not disappoint.

Despite having planned to be done with time to spare, too much time adding up scores to determine which team won made transitions larger than budgeted. Even dropping a song, we ran overtime.

COR/NOR/COT: Prayers in celebration of Cookies’ housing situation being sorted for the near future — prayers for the PAX traveling

MOLESKIN:

Planning this Q, it was really fun remembering how much I loved this musical when it came out.
The bulk of the play is messing with the ideas of who is good and who is wicked, and who gets labelled or judged as good or wicked.
As a literature major, let me be the first to say that there is plenty of hogwash in Postmodernism, but one of the goods it provides is a wealth of opportunities for gaining a new perspective. It’s an opportunity to maybe judge people a little less, to see them (hopefully) a little closer to how God sees them.
Listening through it again for this Q, I was reminded by the harsh, foolish and ill-informed words of the crowds that we should be slow to judge others. Jesus tells us twice in the Gospel of Matthew that what we bind on earth is bound in heaven and what we loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. In a very real sense, what judgements we render upon our neighbor are damnation or salvation to them. May we be slow to judge others, and abounding in mercy, even as God has shown us mercy.

6.24.21 — The Usual Suspects

As a beautiful sunrise lit up the clouds over MASTODON, 14 PAX (Archive, Aloha, Jolly, Sparrow, Whittler, BOGO, Jailbreak, Cookies, Bloomer, Banks, Beaker, Katniss, Captain Crunch) wandered their way into some pleasant weather and some odd muscle groups.

Warm-o-rama

Motivators IC x 7
Mountain Man Poopers IC x 15
Abe Vigoda IC x 7
Michael Phelps OYO

Squat Form (90 or bust!)

40 Certified Squats – no one goes up until everyone is at 90

MOM-E:

5 Bonnie Blairs (each side)
5 Derkins
5 Dips
Plank for remainder
(then 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, then descend back to 5)

Work Like an Animal

Around the BASE of Hoffa – Bear Crawl 1st half / Crab Walk 2nd half
Dutch Skate while the fireman watches on
Broad Jump(Frog) / Duck Walk to the parking lot

6MOM

Curb Stomp your partner
Crunchy Frogs (aka Dutch Bazookas) IC x 40

COR/NOR/COT: prayers for traveling PAX — praise for DBC’s safe return — for Archive’s return to the Gloom — for our eyes to see and our ears to hear those who need us this week.

6.21.21 — Ruck Day Classic

After a surprisingly eventful night of severe weather, the midsummer dawn arrived serenely as 14 PAX (Banks, Big Mac, Shiplap, Da Vinci, Jolly, Panhandle, Dr. Phil, SAGA, Noodles, Cookies, Getaway/Babysitter(disambiguation?), Reels, Babe, Captain Crunch(QIC)) arrived groggy but ready for their weekly dose of monday. 2 Runners, 5 Ruckers, and 7 Murphers.

After a warm-up:
– 10 Mountain Man Poopers
– 10 Goofballs
– 10 Abe Vigodas
– Arm Circles OYO
Ruck Crew got a treated to a classic Crunch prayer-walk:
– Merkin Mile (Mile Loop, 25 Ruck Merkins on the quarters)
– A brief stop at Rucker Point to lift up those who will find there way to F3 Wheaton in the future.
– Thruster Mile (Mile Loop, 10 Thrusters on the quarters)

COR/NOR/COT: prayers for Banks’ son, heading to camp for the first time — for Panhandle’s son off to the Dominican Republic on a missions trip — for Tortuga, DBC and other PAX travelling or soon to be travelling — for Cookies’ M’s friend and her many struggles — for those who walk alone and need F3 in their life

MOLESKIN: It was easy to see and feel the difference of time from 2018 to now. I am grateful for the impulse to pray for unknown PAX during those months, and overjoyed at the current form of Mondays.

Sparrow’s Intro to Old Testament

This workout was designed so that someday, somewhere, a man would make an intelligent comment about the Old Testament, and get some raised eyebrows from those around him. “How would you know anything about that?” they ask incredulously. “Well, you see, I one time did this workout…

“Motivators”, which were actually side straddle hops.
Tap-y-Taps.
Calf stretches.
Mountain man poopers
etc.

The Creation of the Universe


1 In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.


Hold Superman like you’re hovering over the face of the waters.
Progress to Al Gore
God makes man: Man Makers X 10

The Garden of Eden

Calf raises around the garden. Eye to eye with your fellow PAX, enjoying relationship and a non-stressful exercise. Pass an apple from PAX to PAX until somebody succumbs to temptation and bites the apple.

The Fall of Man

Saga bites the apple. All hell breaks loose. 10 burpees.

Noah’s Flood

Pax pair up and complete 100 merkins and 100 squats together, then choose an animal and do that crawl up the hill, two-by-two. Circle up at the top of the hill to form an ark, then do flutter kicks and leg raises. The ark lands on Mt. Ararat.

The Tower of Babel

“Come, let us build ourselves a city and a tower with its top in the heavens, … And the Lord came down to see the city and the tower… and there confuse their language, so that they may not understand one another’s speech.” PAX TOWER/Human Pyramid.

Call of Abraham

God calls Abraham to leave his home. Abraham follows God. Abraham believes God’s promise even though in his own lifetime he didn’t see all of it fulfilled. The promise was true, and Abraham became a mighty nation. AMRAP Big boy situps 2 Minutes.


We give Isaac a miss.

Jacob and Esau

Jacob grasped the heal, we do one set of pull ups, your personal max. God renamed Jacob into “Israel” Jacob had 12 sons, who became the 12 tribes of israel. One of them was Joseph.

Joseph and the Coat of many Colors

Chest presses while we learned that Joseph was enslaved by his brothers. God had a plan for Joseph to be the leader of Egypt, a savior of his people, and the training ground for all of that was slavery and prison. Joseph saved his family by storing up grain before the entire world got hit by a famine.

Slavery in Egypt

Joseph’s family (Israel and his sons) were saved by traveling to Egypt and getting fed, but eventually things took a turn for the worse. Pharaoh enslaved the Jews. They spent their time making bricks. The PAX did 20 grave diggers, then a rifle carry up hoffa.

Exodus: Let my people go

God gives Moses a special upbringing and leadership training, and then tells him to go talk to Pharaoh. Moses complains, but it turns out God was right. Moses tells Pharaoh that God says “let my people go.” During the 10 plagues, God told his people to paint their doorways with the blood of a lamb, so that the angel of death would pass over their house. That sounds strange, but Christians also believe that the blood of Jesus is also able to spare us from death. PAX do squat thrusters reminiscent of painting an overhead doorway.
After 10 plagues and the death of his son, Pharaoh lets them go.

10 commandments

God gives Moses the 10 commandments while they are in the desert. Pax do 10 block merkins (later in the workout).

Wandering in the wilderness

God’s people make it right up to the edge of the promised land, but they refused to obey God and go into it, so he told them they could wander for a while (40 years) while they thought about it. PAX go for a fast jog (a fog) with an emphasis on picking up the 6, which creates the sensation of wandering.

Promised Land

PAX enter the promised land and enjoy some much needed rest.

moleskin

The Old Testament is a beautifully written collection of history, poetry and prophecy. It tells the story of a God who desires relationship with us. If you find yourself asking “Why God?”, read the Old Testament and ask yourself “Why People?” People do some silly things, and God keeps moving towards us in relationship.

COT. Prayers.

5.29.21 — Just a bit of silliness, really

In the immortal words of Dolly Parton: “Hit ’em where the sun don’t shine.”

In contrast to Wednesday, the sunrise was crowning the trees in glory at AO-TAR PIT, as 10 intrepid PAX (Big Mac, Beaker, Draper, SAGA, Panhandle, Noodles, Hot Box, Da Vinci, Katniss, Capn Crunch(QIC)) gathered for what promised to be an atypical day. The Q did have a plan, but the details were yet to be filled in in their entirety. Without much explanation and some odd warnings, they began their adventure. The objective was to work out some muscles we haven’t used since grade school.

Warm-O-Rama:
– Goofballs IC x20
– Abe Vigoda IC x10
– Batwings IC x10
– Mountain Man Poopers IC x20

Recon Jog

Thang 1: DIY OCR

We all pray in different ways, and in our own way we lended our thoughts and support to those brave souls entering into the Frontline OCR. We divided into two teams of 10 and took turns making stuff up, establishing routes for us to race across or around the playground, performing different exercises or feats of athleticism against members of the other team.

Highlights include Bear Crawls, more Bear Crawls, Bear Snake, Bear Indian Run, pull ups at extreme heights, Dolly Partons(reprise), Derkin sprints, gimpy one-legged-race + burpees (gimpees?), and a kiddy slide that almost defeated the entire gathering of the PAX, and Hot Box and Beaker closing out the day showing everyone how it’s done on the 5 meter beam cross.

Thang 2: Adult Duck Duck Goose

Inspired by one of (not yet)FiA’s workouts, the PAX circled up for a bit of Duck Duck Goose before continuing their OCR. Like normal duck duck goose (or grey duck???), except that all the PAX perform a standing exercise, and when you get called “duck” you perform 10 merkins. Afterwards, we continued the choose your own OCR.

COR/NOR/COT: prayers of thanks for Noodles’ opportunities and the many blessings of life — thanks and intercession in the midst of SAGA’s trials/blessings — for Panhandle’s daughter in Mexico — for the Frontline OCR crew and their endeavors and camaraderie

KUBB with 28

Backblast

AO Mastodon, 5/18/21, 5:30AM

Twenty-eight PAX posted for a friendly beatdown this beautiful morning.  After a quick WOR of 5 count motivators, OYO arm circles and Michael Phelps, and 10 copperhead merkins IC, we moseyed over to Dan Taylor alley for Thang One.

Thang One: KUBB 1

With way more men than I anticipated, I made some modifications to my plan as we moseyed to Dan Taylor. KUBB was set up between two soccer goals. Men partnered up. I sent seven pairs to one side of the pitch and seven to the other side. In each partnership, one HIM ran around a marked route while the other earned tosses and tossing.  A toss was earned with 30 merkins, 30 lunges, or 30 squats. When a team knocked a block down, the PAX present on that team ran a short lap around their soccer goal before continuing. When the runner of the pair returned, partners switched roles.

Instead of tossing a baton at the blocks, PAX could choose to take a frisbee and attempt to hit a set target. A successful hit resulted in a free block knock down. 

Once a team knocked down all the blocks they did ten burpees before attempting the king.

Team 1 was victorious in round one.

Thang Two: KUBB 2

Same as round one with shorter running route, 15 reps each: hand release merkins, Bonnie Blairs, jump squats.

Team 2 won this round.

Mary/ tie breaker

Back at the flags teams circled up for a plank-off to determine the winner. After a few minutes of planking, merkins were mixed in.  With six or seven PAX left we went to plank with arms bent to 90 degrees.  It came down to Waterboy and BigMac with Waterboy pulling off the win. Go team 2!

NOR: Gummi Bear, Wet Burrito, Doublemint, Panda Express, Ralphie, Achtung, BOGO, Captain Crunch, Shiplap, Saga, Binford, T-Bone (respect), Hot Box, Cookies, Cheese (respect), Bloomer, Panhandle, Jolly, Crack, Sparrow, Getaway, BigMac, DaVinci, Waterboy, Watson (respect, respect, FNG), Beaker, Heist (FNG), Tortuga Q

COT: Prayers for Crack’s M with a doctor’s appointment for a long term problem on Friday, Crack’s family as K-Pop graduates, his oldest comes back home from her internship, and all the changes coming their way, Tortuga and his M go to a new psychologist this Friday for some intensive therapy for her anxiety.

Praise for bodies that work and men to push us on.

Throw and Go

Backblast, 4/24/21, 7am, AO Mastodon

Throw and Go

Eight PAX gathered in the gloom for this morning’s beatdown.

WOR: Michael Phelps OYO, arm circles, copperhead merkins (slow count down IC), copperhead squats, tappy taps IC.

Thang One: Partners shared a frisbee. The goal was to hit each lamppost in order from the west bridge to the north westernmost lamppost. Throws were earned by reps. 10 hand release merkins, 20 flutter kicks (4 count), or 30 squats.  Rep order was not mandated, but all three had to be completed before repeating any reps.  Frisbees were advanced frisbee golf style: each throw was attempted from the landing spot of the previous throw.  Tap-ins were allowed but still counted as a throw and had to be earned.

Thang Two:  Same reps and rules from north westernmost lamppost to the monkey bars.  Winners of round one started at the first lamppost.  Second place at the second, etc.  At the monkey bars each PAX went down and back.  Only one frisbee made it into the pond.  (I’m looking at you, Banks.)

Thang Three:  In Dan Taylor alley.  New reps.  10 Bonnie Blairs (1=1), 20 shoulder taps (2=1), 30 lunges (1=1).  Goals – baseball field backstop followed by the four soccer goals.

Thang four: No reps.  To travel to the frisbee you had to bear crawl for the first two goals, lunge the next, crab walk the fourth, and mix and match to the final goal.  Throws must alternate between partners.  If you arrived at the frisbee before your partner and it wasn’t your throw, you could double back to them.  Once you reach them, both PAX can mosey to their disc.  (Saga arrived in the middle of this round.)

Thang five: mosey back to Hoffa, zombie crawl up, first to the top called out “Manrise!”  The rest of the PAX moseyed up to hold an Al Gore.  We did have a couple on a picnic blanket for the sunrise at the top of Hoffa, so it had to be done.

BigMac and Loafers had to go, so we did NOR before Mary, thus the seated NOR video.

NOR: Banks, BigMac, Captain Crunch, Jailbreak, Jäzz Händz, Loafers (respect, respect!), TBTF, and Tortuga (Q)

Mary: flutter kicks with PAX reciting the verse in place of the count made it through the first chunk of our passage before running into multiple versions being recited.  “For by grace you have been saved through faith.”

COT: prayers were lifted up for Cooper, Bloomer and their family, BigMac’s church as they will be presented with their pastoral candidate Sunday, Brian as he will be moving to rehab soon, Saga’s M, who is having some brain scans to try to figure out what’s going on.  Praise for bodies that work and men to push us on.

Donuts were consumed (Thanks Jäzz Händz!), directions to Tortuga’s church were shared, and after a brief coffeteria, most PAX headed out to move some mulch.

Backblast: Rucking and Running With Cookies 04/19/2021 5:30AM at AO MASTODON

We Rucked, we ran. Ruckers got in 3.33 miles which is a personal best for 45 minutes for at least one PAX. Some of the runners came early for a “warm up mile” EC and logged north of 6 miles.

NOR:

Archive, Babe, Captain Crunch, Crack and Doolie Dog, Cookies (Q), Da Vinci, Dr Phil, Jolly, Panhandle, SAGA, Shiplap, Tortuga

Nerf 2: Electric Boogalo – The Hunt for Wet Burrito.

Warm 0 Rama

Warmup involving high rep block thrusters to surprise everyone who thought this would be easy.


Dodge Ball

Pax split into two teams. To start the game, everyone completes 20 Merkins before making a run for the dodge balls. 3 Squats are required before each throw. When you get out you have to run the perimeter of the tennis courts and then plank till that game ends.
Tortuga suprised us by having a vast knowledge of obscure dodgeball variants. We tried several of his variations.

Bears Vs Crabs

Pax are divide into uneven teams based on their preference for crab walking or bear crawling. Slightly more pax prefer bear crawls. The bears dominate every game, despite a number of rule variations designed to give the crabs an equal opportunity (no hands, hands, goalie rules, etc).

Nerf 2: Electric Boogalo – The Hunt for Wet Burrito.

David and Goliath, with nerf guns. Pax split into two teams. A challenger steps out from his team and challenges the other team to an exercise, naming his rep count (Let’s say, 50 squats). A defender steps out from his team and accepts the challenge on behalf of the whole team. Although the two pax are engaging in representative combat, all PAX present will do the exercise stated. When the first representative warrior reaches the target rep count, he picks up a nerf gun and fires on the other team. When the second representative reaches the target rep count, he also picks up a nerf gun and tries to shoot the attacker. The fighting ceases when either of two things happen: The attacker gets shot, or one of the other pax finishes the reps and runs to the top of the hill, proclaiming freedom for the captives.

Moleskin

Life doesn’t always go the way you planned, but when I shot that guy in the neck, life was good.