4.14.22 — Maundy Thursday Meditations

Backblast: Maundy Thursday Meditations
Date: 4/14/22
AO: #ao_mastodon
PAX: @Bloomer, @Hancock, @Crack, @Beaker, @Jolly, @Panda Express, @Captain Crunch (AJ), @Tortuga, @T-bone, @Banks, @Shiplap, @Aloha, @SAGA, @Da Vinci, @WATER WINGS, @Gummi Bear
FNGs: 0
Q: @Captain Crunch (AJ) Crunch
Total: 16 PAX

The Suffering Servant’s Warm-o-rama
But he was pierced* for our transgressions, he was crushed** for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his stripes*** we are healed.

* Or thrust through
** Or crushed it
*** some apocryphal manuscripts his side-straddle hops

  • Thrusters / American Hammers (AMRAP)
  • Skull Crushers (AMRAP)
  • SSH IC x 25

The Maundy Dora
John 13:34–35 says: A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

Each PAX did:
100 Thrusters
200 Bonnie Blairs (one is one)
300 Merkins
400 American Hammers (one is one)
(Option: Brotherly Love — You may ascend the hill at any point to do exercises that will discount another PAX’s total reps. Each Burpee you do for your brother reduces their rep count by 1%, each Blockee reduces their set by 2%)
(WWJD? pick up the 6!)

The Way of the Cross
Flying Nuns up Hoffa
Star Jumps x 12
Run Down
Jolly for the 6

The Scout Run/Crawl of the Cross
Side Plank / Moon Gods scout run up/around Hoffa

Missed for being overtime:
Ripped like Jesus (Abs till the world’s end)
Oblique LBCs
J-Lo 1
J-Lo 2
American Hammers (again!)

MOLESKIN: On this day we remember Jesus taking the world’s expectations for his week of triumph and glory and turning them upside down. As he completes his work by being the God and King of all creation come down to serve humbly as a slave and die as a sacrifice for the sake of the world that betrays him. And he calls us to follow his example, laying down our lives for one another and the world.

COT: Crash’s back as he gets advice on treatment options — Ukraine and Russia: for an end to the conflict and the preservation of life

11.13.21 — Nov. ’21 PT test + mini-Chads

Backblast: Nov. ’21 PT test + mini-Chads
Date: Tuesday, 11/13/2021
AO: #ao_mastodon
PAX: @Sparrow, @Jailbreak, @Cookies, @Crash, @Crack, @Tortuga, @Hotbox, @Hancock, @TBTF, @Captain Crunch (AJ)
FNGs: 0
Q: @Captain Crunch (AJ)
Total: 10

APFT Scores: (Push-ups / Sit-ups / 2 mi)
Crunch: 62 / 56 / –:–
Jailbreak: 30 / 38 / –:–
Cookies: 47 / 51 / –:–
Crash: 31 / 62 / –:–
Crack: 55 / 55 / 14:44
Tortuga: 77 / 66 / 14:17
Hotbox: 85 / 61 / 12:29
Hancock: 19 / 22 / 13:48*
TBTF: 63 / 38 / 17:08

The Thang:
– Motivators
– Abe Vigodas
– Mountain Man Poopers
– Arm Circles / Phelps
Mosey to C.O.O.T.E.E.s
– 2 min Max Pushups + partner counts / planks (swap)
– 2 min Max Sit-ups, partner counts / holds (swap)
– 2 mile run or Chad – 200x
Mosey to Hoffa for cooldown
– Spartans (hill sprint + 10 merkins) x5

COT: Prayers for Cookies and fam as M has final performance and they gather support and present on Tuesday — For K-Pop sorting through school and big life choices — For Tortuga’s 2.0 as she flies home

7.26.21 — GLEE WEEK: A “Wicked” Ruck Day

Having missed out on the previous three weeks of nonsense, YHC was eager to dive back in, and SAGA had provided the perfect opportunity, a chance to Q a musical-themed beatdown. 14 unsuspecting PAX (Beaker, Katniss, Hot Box, Sparrow, SAGA, Crack, Jolly, Tortuga, Big Mac, Cookies, Panhandle, Shiplap, DaVinci, Noodles, Captain Crunch (QIC)) posted with me to start the week in style.


  • Mountain Man Poopers IC x 10
  • Abe Vigoda IC x 6
  • Michael Phelps OYO

No One Mourns the Wicked (6:40) / The Wizard and I (5:09)

  • Ruck a mile

Intro to Rivalry: green team vs white team. Best team in each category earns one point

What is this feeling? (3:33)

  • Just Bearcrawl ruck drag (furthest team overall wins) Green Team: 1, White Team: 0

Popular (3:45)

  • Curls + Blockees on every “Popular” (most combined curls wins) Green Team: 1, White Team: 1

Defying Gravity (5:54)

  • Dora-Style Pairs for Bernies + Thrusters (most combined thrusters wins) Green Team: 1, White Team: 2

Penalty Time: No Good Deed goes unpunished!

No Good Deed (3:32)

  • Flying Monkey Humpers (10 Monkey Humpers + 3 Star Jumps, repeat until dead) + On the phrase “Good Deed” = 1 Burpee per point your team earned (The PAX were spared from this by the Q running overtime)

For Good (5:07)

  • Side Plank for the 5 min, switching to the “Elphaba” hand / “Glinda” hand when either sings, or High Plank when both are singing.
    This was fun to watch / listen to, but the best part was practicing it the night before and feeling how awful it was to plank for so long to a slow song with long pauses and imagining (correctly) the mumblechatter to come. It did not disappoint.

Despite having planned to be done with time to spare, too much time adding up scores to determine which team won made transitions larger than budgeted. Even dropping a song, we ran overtime.

COR/NOR/COT: Prayers in celebration of Cookies’ housing situation being sorted for the near future — prayers for the PAX traveling


Planning this Q, it was really fun remembering how much I loved this musical when it came out.
The bulk of the play is messing with the ideas of who is good and who is wicked, and who gets labelled or judged as good or wicked.
As a literature major, let me be the first to say that there is plenty of hogwash in Postmodernism, but one of the goods it provides is a wealth of opportunities for gaining a new perspective. It’s an opportunity to maybe judge people a little less, to see them (hopefully) a little closer to how God sees them.
Listening through it again for this Q, I was reminded by the harsh, foolish and ill-informed words of the crowds that we should be slow to judge others. Jesus tells us twice in the Gospel of Matthew that what we bind on earth is bound in heaven and what we loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. In a very real sense, what judgements we render upon our neighbor are damnation or salvation to them. May we be slow to judge others, and abounding in mercy, even as God has shown us mercy.

6.24.21 — The Usual Suspects

As a beautiful sunrise lit up the clouds over MASTODON, 14 PAX (Archive, Aloha, Jolly, Sparrow, Whittler, BOGO, Jailbreak, Cookies, Bloomer, Banks, Beaker, Katniss, Captain Crunch) wandered their way into some pleasant weather and some odd muscle groups.


Motivators IC x 7
Mountain Man Poopers IC x 15
Abe Vigoda IC x 7
Michael Phelps OYO

Squat Form (90 or bust!)

40 Certified Squats – no one goes up until everyone is at 90


5 Bonnie Blairs (each side)
5 Derkins
5 Dips
Plank for remainder
(then 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, then descend back to 5)

Work Like an Animal

Around the BASE of Hoffa – Bear Crawl 1st half / Crab Walk 2nd half
Dutch Skate while the fireman watches on
Broad Jump(Frog) / Duck Walk to the parking lot


Curb Stomp your partner
Crunchy Frogs (aka Dutch Bazookas) IC x 40

COR/NOR/COT: prayers for traveling PAX — praise for DBC’s safe return — for Archive’s return to the Gloom — for our eyes to see and our ears to hear those who need us this week.

6.21.21 — Ruck Day Classic

After a surprisingly eventful night of severe weather, the midsummer dawn arrived serenely as 14 PAX (Banks, Big Mac, Shiplap, Da Vinci, Jolly, Panhandle, Dr. Phil, SAGA, Noodles, Cookies, Getaway/Babysitter(disambiguation?), Reels, Babe, Captain Crunch(QIC)) arrived groggy but ready for their weekly dose of monday. 2 Runners, 5 Ruckers, and 7 Murphers.

After a warm-up:
– 10 Mountain Man Poopers
– 10 Goofballs
– 10 Abe Vigodas
– Arm Circles OYO
Ruck Crew got a treated to a classic Crunch prayer-walk:
– Merkin Mile (Mile Loop, 25 Ruck Merkins on the quarters)
– A brief stop at Rucker Point to lift up those who will find there way to F3 Wheaton in the future.
– Thruster Mile (Mile Loop, 10 Thrusters on the quarters)

COR/NOR/COT: prayers for Banks’ son, heading to camp for the first time — for Panhandle’s son off to the Dominican Republic on a missions trip — for Tortuga, DBC and other PAX travelling or soon to be travelling — for Cookies’ M’s friend and her many struggles — for those who walk alone and need F3 in their life

MOLESKIN: It was easy to see and feel the difference of time from 2018 to now. I am grateful for the impulse to pray for unknown PAX during those months, and overjoyed at the current form of Mondays.

5.29.21 — Just a bit of silliness, really

In the immortal words of Dolly Parton: “Hit ’em where the sun don’t shine.”

In contrast to Wednesday, the sunrise was crowning the trees in glory at AO-TAR PIT, as 10 intrepid PAX (Big Mac, Beaker, Draper, SAGA, Panhandle, Noodles, Hot Box, Da Vinci, Katniss, Capn Crunch(QIC)) gathered for what promised to be an atypical day. The Q did have a plan, but the details were yet to be filled in in their entirety. Without much explanation and some odd warnings, they began their adventure. The objective was to work out some muscles we haven’t used since grade school.

– Goofballs IC x20
– Abe Vigoda IC x10
– Batwings IC x10
– Mountain Man Poopers IC x20

Recon Jog

Thang 1: DIY OCR

We all pray in different ways, and in our own way we lended our thoughts and support to those brave souls entering into the Frontline OCR. We divided into two teams of 10 and took turns making stuff up, establishing routes for us to race across or around the playground, performing different exercises or feats of athleticism against members of the other team.

Highlights include Bear Crawls, more Bear Crawls, Bear Snake, Bear Indian Run, pull ups at extreme heights, Dolly Partons(reprise), Derkin sprints, gimpy one-legged-race + burpees (gimpees?), and a kiddy slide that almost defeated the entire gathering of the PAX, and Hot Box and Beaker closing out the day showing everyone how it’s done on the 5 meter beam cross.

Thang 2: Adult Duck Duck Goose

Inspired by one of (not yet)FiA’s workouts, the PAX circled up for a bit of Duck Duck Goose before continuing their OCR. Like normal duck duck goose (or grey duck???), except that all the PAX perform a standing exercise, and when you get called “duck” you perform 10 merkins. Afterwards, we continued the choose your own OCR.

COR/NOR/COT: prayers of thanks for Noodles’ opportunities and the many blessings of life — thanks and intercession in the midst of SAGA’s trials/blessings — for Panhandle’s daughter in Mexico — for the Frontline OCR crew and their endeavors and camaraderie

4.22.21 — Cap’n’s Hill

It was a beautiful day in the neighborhood at AO MASTODON. Possibly the last frost for the season blanketed the ground and mist rose off the lake as 12 PAX (Hot Box, Archive, Da Vinci, Whittler, Jolly, Tortuga, Beaker, Big Mac, SAGA, Noodles, Shiplap, Cap’n Crunch (QIC)) arrived and threw in their lot with their deranged Q. Having made vague promises of restraint in his pre-blast, YHC will leave it to the PAX to decide if he kept his word.


  • Motivators IC x 7
  • Mountain Man Poopers IC x 10
  • Abe Vigoda IC x 10

The Thang: Cap’n’s Hill (a terrible Dora)

  • 99 Yurpees (clap merkin + 2x tuck jumps)
  • 198 Monkey Humpers
  • 297 American Hammers
  • Split the above with a partner and take turns doing Bernies up the hill with 20 Star Jumps at the top

The Filler: PAX’s choice

  • Welsh Dragons or Dan Taylors up Hoffa, up to 9
  • Aiken Legs: 20 x (Squats, Box Jump, Lunges, Split Jacks)

Overtime! 3 Min of Mary:

  • Hurricane Hoedown (Motivator Style Countdown Cadence from 5) (Thanks Tortuga for the co-Q getting the count right for everyone else!)
    • Seated Flutters
    • Recline Flutters
    • Normal Flutters
    • LBC Flutters

COR/NOR/COT: Prayers for Noodles job search — praise for Whittler passing his exams — praise for good health and prayers for the continued blessing, protection, and healing for those looking at surgeries or who are currently recovering (Cooper, Bryan, Katie)

4.9.21 — Duelling Stairmasters

With YHC being a 2nd time poster, 1st time Q to the mysterious Ground Zero Run-club, he figured he should have some semblance of a plan, but otherwise not bring too many expectations to burden the PAX with. At the same time, he had a reputation to maintain for bringing too much of a good thing and today would be no exception. With the rain looming, and an otherwise breezy cool morning, 14 PAX posted in the Gloom for leg-day #2, hot on the heels of Shamu’s Thursday lunges.

The mission was basic, go somewhere, run stairs, go somewhere else, run more stairs. With two good parking garages in downtown Wheaton, the PAX only had so many options, but they set in with their usual enthusiasm.

After an unorthodox run-club warm-up, with something that almost counted as stretching(!?), they were free to accomplish the mission as they saw fit.

NOR: (Cookies, Shiplap, Panhandle, Jolly, Banks, Beaker, Dr. Phil, Noodles, SAGA, Gummi Bear, Shamu, Whittler, Katniss, Capn Crunch(QIC))

COT: Prayers for the group to lean in to life as we lean in to workouts, choosing action, even imperfect action, done with good motivation.

MOLESKIN: Confession on YHCs part to having thought ill of a brother even during that workout, and exhortation to the PAX to consider someone they think ill of and choose today to think well of them, reject cynicism, and embrace goodwill and a generous heart.

3.20.21 — The Vanilla* Spartan

In the early dawn 12 PAX (Banks, Jolly, Panhandle, DaVinci, HotBox, Katniss, Beaker, Bloomer, Saga, Gummi Bear, Tortuga, Capn Crunch(QIC)) found themselves at a frost covered TAR PIT where YHC was eager to start the clock. After a quick warm-up of usual exercises, and some mumbled comments about leg-work. They shouldered the available sandbags and ruck (120/65/65/30, respectively) and did a recon mosey of the south football field, ultimately deciding to make due with the IronPAX field despite its tarp cover.

Having attempted a full Spartan at the Mastodon without success on multiple occasions, the Q had his eye set on the full 30 rounds today, with ample time available if they didn’t mess around. He had full faith in the PAX.


  • Motivators x 7
  • Mountain Man Poopers IC x 10
  • Abe Vigodas IC x 10
  • Sandbag recon mosey

The Spartan:

Having attempted something like a Spartan a few times, always with heavy modification, this would be the first time the F3-Wheaton crowd had done it vanilla (i.e., flat ground, 100 yards, no coupons), and the routine was new to many of the PAX. Thankfully it was incredibly easy to explain. But that didn’t stop the Q from failing to fill in all the details, opting instead to start the PAX off with just the first third having been verbalized.

Rounds 1-10: The Time Hack

  • Run 100 yards, 10 Merkins, mosey back, EMOM — This was vanilla enough. However, our mosey was timed, and an aggressive benchmark of EMOM Spartans was thrown down by the Q, while still waiting for the return of the 6 before starting each round. We were close, but averaged about 1min 12 seconds overall, for a 12 minute finish time on this third. The Q decided a quicker pace was needed to ensure victory.

Rounds 11-20: The Millennial Mosey

  • Run 100 yards, 10 Merkins, 30 LBCs(Millennial style) — To shorten the cycle time without killing the 6, we dropped the mosey, and instead “rested” for the length of time it took for the first PAX to reach 30 LBCs. At that point all PAX jumped to the line for the next run.

Rounds 21-30: No Bag Left Behind

  • Run 100 yards, 10 Merkins, mosey back (+sandbags) —With the time gained by the Millennial cheat on the middle third, we had 20 minutes left in the Q to finish the final 10 rounds. We could afford an actual mosey. The group was fairly close together on pace, so the Q explained that the sandbags were there in case someone was too far ahead of the group and needed more resistance in their workout. The PAX took this as an invitation and for most of the remaining rounds all bags were shouldered for the first half of the run (dropping them at the 50 yard and finishing the sprint).

Finishing with a few minutes left on the clock, they rounded out with some Mary, and appreciated just how much hip-flexors are involved in our favorite “ab” exercises.


  • Ol’ Ironsides: (Boat/Canoe + American Hammer IC x 10) x 2
  • Oblique LBCs — Right IC x 10, Left IC x 10
  • LBCs IC x 10

MOLESKIN: Break your tasks into small chunks and keep chipping away. Achieve what you set out to do.

COR/NOR/COT: Prayers for Jazz Hands’ friends Bryan and Lauren — Wisdom for Hot Box and M as they seek to navigate family conversations — For Tortuga’s M and Saga’s M — for all the brothers, that they would lean into life / work / family as well as they do their workouts, and that we would both have and give support in those spheres.

Glad to hang with the TAR PIT boys after a long time away, seeing faces old and new and appreciating just how much is going on across F3 Wheaton in a given week. Not captured on film, but seared in my memory of this morning: The glory of Gummi Bear’s tireless flying across a field of frosted grass yards ahead of the pack. DaVinci’s dogged grip on his bag for the full 100 yards plus the merkins and the return. Bloomer cleaning 120 pounds just like everyone imagines themselves doing in the moment before their first attempt.

The TAR PIT HIMs and their weight
Post-Spartan Mood

2.27.20 – The Thermopylae 150

After the Q promised a day of mud, the 13 PAX (Archive, Babe, Beaker, Cookies, DBC, Jazz Hands, Sparrow, Crash, Crack, K-Pop, Jailbreak, TBTF, Capt Crunch) who posted were greeted with a thick fog and and a decidedly un-thawed AO Mastodon hovering at 32 degrees instead of the promised 40. The main element of the day was still ice, and the Q kept to the hill, making traction the primary obstacle.


  • Motivators
  • Albatross Wings
  • Mountain Man Poopers / Bolt 45s
  • Side Plank Practice

Super SPARTAN Circuit:

  • Divide into two groups: one group will be Spartans, the other Base Camp, switching roles each round, each group will get 30 rounds of each role (if time allows). [Dear Reader, time did not allow]
  • Spartan = 30 Hill Sprints (or 100 yard dash), 10 Merkins at the top each time, walk/mosey back
  • Round 1-5, ARMS
    • Spartans: Sprint the hill, merkin x 10, return. 
    • Base Camp: AMRAP Albatross Wings: 20 x Moroccan Night Club, hold, 20 x Forward Arm Circles, hold, 20 x Backwards Arm Circles, hold, 20 x seal claps, hold, 20 x overhead claps. Repeat.
  • Round 6-10, CORE
    • Spartans: bear crawl the first half of the hill, sprint the rest, merkin and return
    • Base Camp will pick ONE exercise and AMRAP until Spartans return (switch exercises each round): Right Side Plank / Left Side Plank / Shoulder Taps
  • Round 11-15, LEGS
    • Spartans will lunge the first half up the hill, then sprint, merkin and return
    • Base Camp will pick ONE exercise and AMRAP until Spartans return (different exercise each round): Mountain Man Poopers, Monkey Humpers, Bolt 45s 
  • Round 16-20, ARMS [called here for time]
  • Round 20-25, CORE
  • Round 26-30, LEGS

Recover with 15 rounds completed. One half leftover to complete when the snow is gone.

COR/NOR/COT: |Prayers continued for Jazz Handz’ friends Lauren and Bryan — for Bloomer’s family — prayers for the PAX to keep pressing in and completing the hard things that await them in their week.