Mastodon Mastodon Bootcamp – The Magic Number

Date: 2026-05-21
AO: Mastodon
Q: Lakers ,
PAX: Big Mac, Dümpster, Audible, Stock boy, Endo, Lakers, Ankles, Falsetto FNGs: None
COUNT: 8
At the gloom before dawn, the PAX did appear,
Another beatdown was brewing right here.
Lakers was Q and brought blocks to the fight,
Serving up pain in the morning twilight.

WOR:
We started with warmups to get moving right,
Loosening joints in the pale morning light.
Then off on a scout run, a half mile grind,
No man left lagging too far behind.

The Thang:
The timer hit six and the work then began,
AMRAP style — do as much as you can.
Ten goblet squats with the coupon held tight,
Twenty merkins to humble your might.
Thirty sit-ups to punish the core,
Then circle around and come back for more.

Another scout run through the neighborhood air,
Heavy legs growing but none showing care.
Round number two brought a fresh kind of pain,
Still pushing hard though the sweat poured like rain.
Ten chest presses pressing blocks to the sky,
Twenty lunges that made strong men cry.
Thirty flutter kicks counting two as just one,
By then every brother was nearly undone.

Round three was waiting, but time cut it short,
Mercy arrived from the clock of the court.
So down to cooldown we finally came,
Breathing exhausted but glad that we came.

Moleskine:
Three is the number that carried the day,
Showing the PAX there’s a better way.
Three rounds planned though we finished with two,
Still the lesson rang steady and true.

Fitness to strengthen the body we bear,
Fellowship built through the burdens we share,
Faith as the anchor when trials increase,
Three cords together that won’t break in the least.

So blocks were lifted and miles were run,
Not just for pain and not just for fun.
Because every beatdown is more than we see,
Built on the power of things done in three.

Tags: Mastodon, Big Mac, Dümpster, Audible, Stock boy, Endo, Lakers, Ankles, Falsetto

Ground Zero Ground Zero Run/Ruck

Date: 2026-05-20
AO: Ground Zero
Q: Audible ,
PAX: Manhole, Mr Roboto, Carmen, Audible, Mr. Bean, Buns, Stock boy FNGs: None
COUNT: 7
WOR:
Abe Vigodas
Stretch Lunge
SSH

The Thang:
Run / Ruck

Moleskine:
You can choose the pain of discipline, or, the pain of regret. Choose wisely.

Tags: Ground Zero, Manhole, Mr Roboto, Carmen, Audible, Mr. Bean, Buns, Stock boy

Mastodon Mastodon Bootcamp – 40 Fingers

Date: 2026-05-19
AO: Mastodon
Q: Audible ,
PAX: LeMond, Mr Roboto, Endo, Falsetto, Dümpster, Samsonite, Audible, Chuck, Stock boy, Ankles FNGs: None
COUNT: 10
WOR: “Sound Check”
Abe Vigoda’s x 10
Cobra into Downward Dog
Low Lunge
SSH
Imperial Walkers
Arm Circles
Slow Squats

The Thang: “Rhythm Section”
15 minutes
Goblet Squats
Merkins
Forward Lunges
Reverse Lunges
Take a lap around cooties after each round

“Lead Guitar” – 7 minutes
Coupon Row
Curls
Military Press
Skull Crusher(s)

“Encore Set” – (7 minutes)
MARY

Moleskine:
“Speak to yourself the way you would to someone you care about.”

Tags: Mastodon, LeMond, Mr Roboto, Endo, Falsetto, Dümpster, Samsonite, Audible, Chuck, Stock boy, Ankles

Tar Pit Tar Pit Bootcamp

Date: 2026-05-20
AO: Tar Pit
Q: DQ ,
PAX: T-bone, DQ, Panhandle, Tortuga, Bloomer
FNGs: None
COUNT: 5
WOR:
– SSH
– Arm circles
– Copperhead squats
– Copperhead merkins
– Runners stretch / twisting runners stretch

Thang 1
Today’s CrossFit WOD
6 rounds of the following for time:
– 24 coupon swings
– 12 burpees

Thang 2
Cycle through the following exercises. Increase chest press, bent over row, and BBSUs by 10 each round: • 10 thrusters
• 10 chest press
• 10 bent over row
• 10 BBSU / Dilberts
• run the loop

Moleskine:
Psalms 90:12
Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Know that your time on Earth is short. Your time in any area of influence in your life is likely even shorter. Seek God that he might give you wisdom to do the things he’s called you to do with your time.

Tags: Tar Pit, T-bone, DQ, Panhandle, Tortuga, Bloomer

Ground Zero Ground Zero Run/Ruck

Date: 2026-05-18
AO: Ground Zero
Q: Endo ,
PAX: Flower Boy, Crack, Samsonite, Mr Roboto, Endo, Cheese, Sub2 FNGs: None
COUNT: 7
WOR: ssh, goofs, runner stretch, stretch oyo

The Thang: ran north to the wood bridge with the railings

Moleskine: isaiah 54:9-10

Isaiah 54:10

[10] For the mountains may depart
and the hills be removed,
but my steadfast love shall not depart from you,
and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,”
says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

A good word to remember in hard times, and we will all have hard times.

Tags: Ground Zero, Flower Boy, Crack, Samsonite, Mr Roboto, Endo, Cheese, Sub2

Tar Pit Summertime…

Date: 2026-05-18
AO: Tar Pit
Q: Panhandle ,
PAX: Jolly, T-bone, Panhandle, Tortuga, Beaver (Richmond)
FNGs: None
COUNT: 5
WOR: SSHs, Good Mornings, batwings, picking daisies

The Thang:
– 5 exercises, start with first one, do one suicide. Then add another and do two suicides. Up to the fifth. Repeat if time. We got to a third round. – 5 thrusters
– 10 merkins
– 15 lunges (2-1)
– 20 BBSs,
– 25 curls

Moleskine: Watch your anger. It’s fine – even appropriate to be angry – but don’t let it become destructive.

Tags: Tar Pit, Jolly, T-bone, Panhandle, Tortuga, Beaver (Richmond)

Downrange Sandbagging It – a Black Ops BD

Date: 2026-05-18
AO: Downrange
Q: Lakers ,
PAX: DQ, Jayhawk, Framed, Stock boy, Lakers, Dumpster, Beaker, Manhole FNGs: None
COUNT: 8
WHAT A MORNING!!

The weather couldn’t have been more perfect for some brave Pax to gather in the early morning light and eat some gnats… and occasionally throw sandbags around!

WOR:
There were arm stretches and leg stretches. Both needed stretching.

The Thang:
Sandbag Clean to Front Rack
Shoulder Clean – front rack to back rack
Sandbag shoulder to shoulder

Sandbag Clean Toss 25 yards and back
Sandbag side toss 25 yards and back

Sandbag Carry
1. Bear Hug
2. Front Rack
3. Shoulder Rack
4. Lunge Walk

Sandbag pull through relay

Around the World Lunges w/ back rack
Sandbag Deadlift
Sandbag Row
Sandbag High pull
Sandbaggies

Moleskine:
Fail forward. Try something you’re not sure you can do and go for it!

Tags: Downrange, DQ, Jayhawk, Framed, Stock boy, Lakers, Dumpster, Beaker, Manhole

Ground Zero THE LONG WALK WEST

Date: 2026-05-16
AO: Ground Zero
Q: Crack ,
PAX: Flower Boy, Crack, Tortuga, Jayhawk, Doublemint, Mr Roboto, Brainfog, Dumpster, Lakers, Cookies, Beaker, Adam Krueger, Buffer (2.0) FNGs: None
COUNT: 13
PAX assembled at ao_ground_zero at 0445 to load up. After a short prayer, we piled into the vans to head downtown. Special shout-out to Endo and Semi Pro for being our Uber drivers!

After a group photo, we moved towards Lake Michigan. Sadly, we were unable to actually “touch” the lake this time (we needed Bloomer!)

Official start was 0536. We headed west to Michigan Ave, then headed north to Madison St. There was some mumblechatter at this point about how we weren’t going west as YHC had promised. That was soon rectified when we turned WEST on Madison St.
The group generally stayed together as we walked through the beautiful neighborhoods that make up the western part of the city. After passing through Oak Park and into Forest Park, we turned south on Des Plaines to catch the start of the Illinois Prairie Path.
At this point we started splitting into multiple groups based on pain level and pace.
Lunch stop was Phase 3 Brewing in Elmhurst. Brainfog and Adam Krueger decided to push straight through instead of stopping. Doublemint headed out early from lunch, and then Tortuga decided to go catch him. That left 9 in the Fellowship. Dumpster’s brother-in-law, Gavin, joined us for lunch and the finish, and Lakers came up lamenting and called for pickup. He promises to finish the ruck.

All in all, it was a great ruck on a beautiful day. Kudos to all the finishers, especially Buffer, who stuck it out and finished strong.

Celebratory milkshakes and adult beverages were consumed at 302 Wheaton after completion.

Tags: Ground Zero, Flower Boy, Crack, Tortuga, Jayhawk, Doublemint, Mr Roboto, Brainfog, Dumpster, Lakers, Cookies, Beaker, Adam Krueger, Buffer (2.0)

Flat Earth Flat Earth

Date: 2026-05-16
AO: Flat Earth
Q: Archive ,
PAX: Jolly, Banks, Shiplap, Swish, Bloomer, Has Been, Cheese, White Noise, Archive, T.B., Panda Express, Hypotenuse, Wagyu, Homer, Hailey, Count FNGs: None
COUNT: 16
WOR:

The Thang: 8×8

Moleskine: Slow Down!

Tags: Flat Earth, Jolly, Banks, Shiplap, Swish, Bloomer, Has Been, Cheese, White Noise, Archive, T.B., Panda Express, Hypotenuse, Wagyu, Homer, Hailey, Count

Mastodon Boomerang Bombs

Date: 2026-05-16
AO: Mastodon
Q: Stock boy ,
PAX: Cheap Shot, Endo, Stock boy, Falsetto, Too Big To Fail (TBTF), The wet burrito FNGs: None
COUNT: 6
WOR:
Abe Vigodas, tappy taps, bat wings.

The Thang:
Burpees, Orangutans, Merkins, Big boys, Squats (B.O.M.B.S.) at the shop. We started doing 5, 10, 15, 20, 25 respectively followed by a lap around the playground, noting the order in which we finished. Then pax #1 did as many Burpees as possible while the remaining pax ran another lap around the playground. When the last pax finished their lap, pax #1 called out how many reps he completed, and then got to rest while the other pax did 5x that number of reps spittoon style. Then pax #2 took his turn with Orangutans, etc.

We got through:
B – Stock boy
O – Endo
M – Too Big To Fail (TBTF)
B – The wet burrito
S – Falsetto
B – Cheap Shot
O – Stock boy
M – Endo
B – Too Big To Fail (TBTF)
S – The wet burrito
B – Falsetto
O – Cheap Shot
M – Stock boy
B – Endo
S – Too Big To Fail (TBTF)
B – The wet burrito

Moleskine:
Matthew 6:25-34 – do not be anxious.

Tags: Mastodon, Cheap Shot, Endo, Stock boy, Falsetto, Too Big To Fail (TBTF), The wet burrito