Choose Your Own Adventure: Treasure Hunt Remix

Story: Through a strange twist of fate, you find yourself stuck inside a library of surprisingly morbid 1980’s “Choose your own adventure” books. Jumping from book to book, you are threatened on all sides. Zombies, cowboys, rival workout gangs, everyone is out to get you. There is only one way to survive: keep moving.

An oddly appropriate theme for a beatdown during life-threatening environmental conditions. 3° temperature, -14° wind chill, unplowed roads, cars stuck in snowbanks, duct tape giving up due to cold,  frozen coupons, back-to-back workouts in the same morning. Why did 12 PAX brave these obstacles? Were they driven by a simple treasure lust? Learn the truth at the end of this post.

The following story segments were stationed around the AO. Each workout accomplished earned PAX one of 6 puzzle pieces, which assembled would reveal the location of real, actual, buried treasure.

Choose your own adventure F3 Q treasure hunt
Your school is on a field trip to the zoo, and you’re trying to catch the attention of your new crush. With your friend holding on to you shirt, you lean way over the gorilla pit and smack the largest gorilla on the back of the head. Your friend loses his grip, and now you’re eye to eye with an angry gorilla, who is trying to decide if you are another gorilla, a snack, or his long lost girlfriend.
You’ll have to do your best gorilla impression if you want to survive until the zoo keepers arrive.
Do 75 total reps in any combination of these:
Overhand Pull ups Underhand Chin ups. Toe to bar.
You’ve aroused the anger of time traveling cowboys. They decide to teach you a lesson by “making you dance”. With pistol shots at your head and feet. You’ll be ducking and jumping to survive.
To dodge the bullets perform 150 reps total of any combination of:
Bench dips
Box Jumps
Step ups


You’ve fallen into the hands of several elderly zombies. They will eat your brains, unless you can blend in with them.
To blend in, you must perform 400 reps on 4 of the permanent workout machines in this area. Choose 4 machines. Bodyweight chest press, inclined sit-up, elliptical movement, etc.
Any machine, any rep count, until your team gets to 400 reps total.

A rival workout gang claims Northside Park as their exclusive territory, unless you can beat them at their own game.
To prove you’re the strongest, you need to do 150 reps in any combination of:
Merkins,
Burpees,
Star Jumps,
Squat jumps

Out of innocent curiosity, you wandered behind the bathhouse. You walked right into a secret meeting of bully’s club called Rodney and the Rathbones.
They’ll let you go free, but only after you do 150 of these (total reps in any combination):
Bent over rows,
Kettle bell swings,
Coupon lunges
You drank something, and it wasn’t Kool-aid™. You can’t tell if someone laced your drink with PCP, Speed, or just the heady power rush that accompanies becoming commander in chief.

Work off your power rush and prove you’re the best by performing 150 Total Reps in any combination of:
Coupon Bicep Curls,
Overhead Press,
Scull Crushers.

Pre Workout: Treasure is buried under snow in the middle of a frozen lake.
Story segments and workout options were positioned around the AO.

Pretty good snow camouflage for the treasure
Thermal imaging makes the treasure spot more visible
This was enough to lead Tortuga and Jazz hands to the treasure.
The Real Treasure map
Approaching the winners
The Victor’s circle
The Treasure

Archive and Captain crunch showed off by getting to the treasure 20 minutes ahead of schedule. Getting tired of counting and re-counting their treasure, they then returned to the workout to “wave their beef sticks in our faces.”

This workout was nobody’s first rodeo, but it was still a wild ride. Why did we do it? Because we know these things to be truth:

  1. Adversity brings us together.
  2. Working hard makes us stronger.
  3. Friendship is the real treasure. Friendship, and toe-warmers.

    Thanks for the memories.
    -Sparrow

11.7.20 — Jacked!

MASTODON PAX: HotBox, Archive, Noodles, TBTF, Jolly, SAGA, Cookies, Panhandle, DaVinci, Beaker, DBC, Jazz Hands, Sparrow, Big Mac, Captain Crunch (QIC)

Special Mention: Shamu, Tortuga, T-Bone, Gummi Bear, and Wishbone(T-Bone’s 2.0) made the Name O Rama after touring 13.1 mi of Wheaton.

It was a gloriously warm November morning and the PAX were eager to close out on the first week of DaVinci’s madness, the last thing between them and the glories of decorated coupons was whatever came to mind in the twisted brain of YHC. With eyes on the prize they braced for impact.

Warm O Rama

  • Motivators 7 + 7 + 7
  • Batwings ICx20
  • Mountain Man Poopers ICx20

Thang 1: Jacked Dora 7-7-7

For each PAX, At least one hill-run (up) must be crawl-bear and another must be inch-worm another Bernie, lunge down. Reps below are split, except for Pistol Squats

  • 700 x Hundreds (or American Hammers)
  • 70 Pike Push-ups
  • 7 Pistol Squats (that’s 7 for each leg, for each PAX)

Yurpee for the 6! (Just a burpee with a clap merkin + 2-tuck jumps, no big.)

Followed by a plank circle with each PAX doing one Yurpee around the circle

Thang 2: Spartan (Light)

  • 5 x hill sprints with 10 merkins at the top

Thang 3: Yoga Time! But first, Ironsides!

Ol’ Ironsides (Boat/Canoe + IC x 20 American Hammers, repeat as needed. This time, just 2 rounds)

Taking advantage of the unseasonably warm weather, we did some light yoga for the last 15 min to help those who plowed through the week. Table, Low Lunge, Crescent, Half-Camel, Camel, then wrapping up with Pigeon, Half Happy Baby, Spinal Twist

COR/NOR/COT: Prayers for both Cookies and Hotbox as they hit the road for work this week and for good sleep for Jazz Hands and work opportunities for his M.