Sparrow’s Intro to Old Testament

This workout was designed so that someday, somewhere, a man would make an intelligent comment about the Old Testament, and get some raised eyebrows from those around him. “How would you know anything about that?” they ask incredulously. “Well, you see, I one time did this workout…

“Motivators”, which were actually side straddle hops.
Tap-y-Taps.
Calf stretches.
Mountain man poopers
etc.

The Creation of the Universe


1 In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.


Hold Superman like you’re hovering over the face of the waters.
Progress to Al Gore
God makes man: Man Makers X 10

The Garden of Eden

Calf raises around the garden. Eye to eye with your fellow PAX, enjoying relationship and a non-stressful exercise. Pass an apple from PAX to PAX until somebody succumbs to temptation and bites the apple.

The Fall of Man

Saga bites the apple. All hell breaks loose. 10 burpees.

Noah’s Flood

Pax pair up and complete 100 merkins and 100 squats together, then choose an animal and do that crawl up the hill, two-by-two. Circle up at the top of the hill to form an ark, then do flutter kicks and leg raises. The ark lands on Mt. Ararat.

The Tower of Babel

“Come, let us build ourselves a city and a tower with its top in the heavens, … And the Lord came down to see the city and the tower… and there confuse their language, so that they may not understand one another’s speech.” PAX TOWER/Human Pyramid.

Call of Abraham

God calls Abraham to leave his home. Abraham follows God. Abraham believes God’s promise even though in his own lifetime he didn’t see all of it fulfilled. The promise was true, and Abraham became a mighty nation. AMRAP Big boy situps 2 Minutes.


We give Isaac a miss.

Jacob and Esau

Jacob grasped the heal, we do one set of pull ups, your personal max. God renamed Jacob into “Israel” Jacob had 12 sons, who became the 12 tribes of israel. One of them was Joseph.

Joseph and the Coat of many Colors

Chest presses while we learned that Joseph was enslaved by his brothers. God had a plan for Joseph to be the leader of Egypt, a savior of his people, and the training ground for all of that was slavery and prison. Joseph saved his family by storing up grain before the entire world got hit by a famine.

Slavery in Egypt

Joseph’s family (Israel and his sons) were saved by traveling to Egypt and getting fed, but eventually things took a turn for the worse. Pharaoh enslaved the Jews. They spent their time making bricks. The PAX did 20 grave diggers, then a rifle carry up hoffa.

Exodus: Let my people go

God gives Moses a special upbringing and leadership training, and then tells him to go talk to Pharaoh. Moses complains, but it turns out God was right. Moses tells Pharaoh that God says “let my people go.” During the 10 plagues, God told his people to paint their doorways with the blood of a lamb, so that the angel of death would pass over their house. That sounds strange, but Christians also believe that the blood of Jesus is also able to spare us from death. PAX do squat thrusters reminiscent of painting an overhead doorway.
After 10 plagues and the death of his son, Pharaoh lets them go.

10 commandments

God gives Moses the 10 commandments while they are in the desert. Pax do 10 block merkins (later in the workout).

Wandering in the wilderness

God’s people make it right up to the edge of the promised land, but they refused to obey God and go into it, so he told them they could wander for a while (40 years) while they thought about it. PAX go for a fast jog (a fog) with an emphasis on picking up the 6, which creates the sensation of wandering.

Promised Land

PAX enter the promised land and enjoy some much needed rest.

moleskin

The Old Testament is a beautifully written collection of history, poetry and prophecy. It tells the story of a God who desires relationship with us. If you find yourself asking “Why God?”, read the Old Testament and ask yourself “Why People?” People do some silly things, and God keeps moving towards us in relationship.

COT. Prayers.

BACKBLAST: Saturday, May 29, 2021 “Know Knee Sense” 7:00AM @ AO Mastodon

This workout was designed to be easy on the knees, basically anti-leg day

Several of the PAX planned to do an awesome obstacle course this day, so they joined us for WOR then headed downstate to get their medals. We kept it light for them and started the real work once they left.

WOR

Abe Vagodas

Good Mornings

Arm Circles

5 PAX remained so rather than pairing off each PAX was responsible for their own reps at ½ the traditional count. PAX pushed through the reps to whatever point they felt they were slowing down then “rested” with a holding exercise for 10-30 seconds before getting back to work. Here is how it went.

THANG 1: Flora 1-2-3

50 Merkins: Superman

100 LBCs: Hold Plank

150 Bent over Rows: Hold Boat

We did a quick coupon carry walk around the playground before Thang 2

THANG 2: Flora 3-2-1

150 Chest Press: Reverse Plank

100 Overhead Press: Monkey Hang (PAX agreed, this was probably the hardest part of the workout to keep going)

50 BBSU: Hold Half Curl

To loosen ourselves up we did a few times up and down Hoffa with our coupons, some frontwards Rifle carry, some Bernie.

THANG 3: Blitz, how many can you do in remaining time

10 Pull ups/inverted rows

10 Leg Lifts

10 High Pulls

10 Hand Release Merkins

10 Calf Raises

10 Curls

All PAX were on the 4th cycle, some finished all 4

NOR Babe, Crash, Cookies(Q), Jailbreak, TBTF

Throw and Go

Backblast, 4/24/21, 7am, AO Mastodon

Throw and Go

Eight PAX gathered in the gloom for this morning’s beatdown.

WOR: Michael Phelps OYO, arm circles, copperhead merkins (slow count down IC), copperhead squats, tappy taps IC.

Thang One: Partners shared a frisbee. The goal was to hit each lamppost in order from the west bridge to the north westernmost lamppost. Throws were earned by reps. 10 hand release merkins, 20 flutter kicks (4 count), or 30 squats.  Rep order was not mandated, but all three had to be completed before repeating any reps.  Frisbees were advanced frisbee golf style: each throw was attempted from the landing spot of the previous throw.  Tap-ins were allowed but still counted as a throw and had to be earned.

Thang Two:  Same reps and rules from north westernmost lamppost to the monkey bars.  Winners of round one started at the first lamppost.  Second place at the second, etc.  At the monkey bars each PAX went down and back.  Only one frisbee made it into the pond.  (I’m looking at you, Banks.)

Thang Three:  In Dan Taylor alley.  New reps.  10 Bonnie Blairs (1=1), 20 shoulder taps (2=1), 30 lunges (1=1).  Goals – baseball field backstop followed by the four soccer goals.

Thang four: No reps.  To travel to the frisbee you had to bear crawl for the first two goals, lunge the next, crab walk the fourth, and mix and match to the final goal.  Throws must alternate between partners.  If you arrived at the frisbee before your partner and it wasn’t your throw, you could double back to them.  Once you reach them, both PAX can mosey to their disc.  (Saga arrived in the middle of this round.)

Thang five: mosey back to Hoffa, zombie crawl up, first to the top called out “Manrise!”  The rest of the PAX moseyed up to hold an Al Gore.  We did have a couple on a picnic blanket for the sunrise at the top of Hoffa, so it had to be done.

BigMac and Loafers had to go, so we did NOR before Mary, thus the seated NOR video.

NOR: Banks, BigMac, Captain Crunch, Jailbreak, Jäzz Händz, Loafers (respect, respect!), TBTF, and Tortuga (Q)

Mary: flutter kicks with PAX reciting the verse in place of the count made it through the first chunk of our passage before running into multiple versions being recited.  “For by grace you have been saved through faith.”

COT: prayers were lifted up for Cooper, Bloomer and their family, BigMac’s church as they will be presented with their pastoral candidate Sunday, Brian as he will be moving to rehab soon, Saga’s M, who is having some brain scans to try to figure out what’s going on.  Praise for bodies that work and men to push us on.

Donuts were consumed (Thanks Jäzz Händz!), directions to Tortuga’s church were shared, and after a brief coffeteria, most PAX headed out to move some mulch.

Backblast: Opening Day a la Cookies 04/03/2021 7:00AM @ AO MASTODON

Spring Training has finished, opening day had some goofy events:

  • first home run of the season was hit in the snow and the batter thought was a double

  • home run bouncing out of the fielder’s glove and yielding an out instead of 2 runs based on a base running rule

  • the Cubs had more runs than they had hits (and still lost)

But F3 has no off season. We have been getting out beatdowns all winter! The PAX came out in force and three FNGs (who will be posting mostly at other AOs, but we got to name them!)

WOR was a baseball classic to get us going:

  • High Knees

  • Butt Kicks

  • Karaoke

  • Frankensteins

  • Toe Touches

  • Lunge Twist

  • Arm Circles (with 2 baseballs in each hand) Palms Down Forward, Palms Up Backward

THANG:

5 stations on the baseball field. 9 innings, 5 minutes each, Q kept time and called out at the top of each inning. PAX distributed to the stations and did the exercise that goes with the active inning until fatigue. Then they would take a chance to throw a baseball to the net at home plate. If they hit the sides they would go to the station displayed, if they got it into the strike zone they would call Merkins (or Burpees if your name is SAGA) and everyone would stop to do 5 and go to the station of their choice.

1st Base

2nd Base

3rd Base

Left Field

Right Field

1

Squats

Side Lunges

BBSU

Flutter Kicks

One arm Rows

2

Star Jumps

Calf Raises

Crunchy Frogs

Supermans

Chest Press

3

Bonnie Blairs

Bear Crawl

100s

Am Hammers

Plank Pull Thru

4

Side Strad Hops

Burpees

Outlaws

Shoulder Taps

Curls

5

No Surrenders

Seal Jacks

Leg Raises

Manatees

Coupon Swings

6

Rev Lunges

MM Poopers

LBC

Plank Jacks

Skull Crushers

7

OH Clap Jacks

Pickle Pounders

Plank

Oblique LBC

High Pull

8

Monkey Hmprs

Walking Lunges

Mountain Climb

Reverse Plank

Overhead Press

9

Arm Circles

Imperial Walker

Plank High/Low

Supermans

Bent Over Rows

Before the 7th inning we took a stretch with a JOLLY for a double ten count.

We finished up with 20 penalty merkins for the 4 who never threw a strike.

NOR:

Captain Crunch, Crack, Crash, Cohiba, Cookies (Q), 3xFNG (Bob the Builder, Trout, Roxxy sp?), Jailbreak, Jazz Handz, SAGA, TBTF

Monday 3/15/2021 Ruck club – First Q after DST change – Sparrow

It takes a special kind of PAX to attend the first workout after daylight savings ends.
Most PAX will be in bed enjoying a well-earned rest —with my blessing!


But there will be a few, just one or two, who know that F3 improves the rest of their day, every day. They know that daylight savings isn’t getting easier tomorrow, and they want to start getting better today. They know that friendships formed in the gloom are priceless, and they want to be there when it happens. That’s the PAX I want to ruck with.
I’m not looking for numbers this Monday. I’m looking for a few good men.

Backblast:

We warmed up with an emphasis on avoiding injury.

Sparrow suggested “What are you good at?” as a topic of discussion while we rucked/ran.

The Ruckers circled the park, passing around a sandbag as desired. We finished by climbing hoffa hill about 5 times while continuing to hand off the sandbag.

Ruckers: Babe, TBTF, Noodles, Saga, Sparrow, Cookies.
Runners: Shiplap, Tortuga, Jolly, Banks, Crack, Beaker.

Saga shared a Moleskin about being present in the moment.

We then did COT without a camera, as a way to be present in the moment.

Coffeeteria with a beautiful red-sky background. It was dreamlike. Red sky in the morning, sailors take warning. 7 hours later, with snow and sleet pelting my office window I’m thinking “That escalated quickly.”

Although we might have been short an hour of sleep, today has felt like waking up after a really satisfying dream.

Backblast 2/24/2021 (Billy Madison Workout)

Challenge: Complete k-12 in 45 minutes.

15 PAX showed up for class, in attendance:

Warmorama

Motivators (x7); good mornings; arm circles

Run up the wheel with coupons.

Each grade consists of an exercise and a question aimed at students of that grade level. Graduation from each grade to the next requires running down and back up the wheel.

Kindergarten: Little Baby Crunches (50) (How many PAX are in attendance?)

1st Grade: Hodors (20) (Laura has 7 cupcakes. Jeremy eats 2. How many does Laura have left? 5; What does Jeremy have? A black eye.)

2nd Grade: skull crushers (25) (Which is not a state of matter? Solid, Color, Liquid, Gas)

3rd Grade: Star Jumps (30) What is the name for someone who studies dinosaurs? (Paleontologist)

4th Grade: Blockbees (11) 44 divided by 4

5th Grade: Bonnie Blairs (27) 5 and 2/5 into an improper fraction.

6th Grade: Wall climbers (6) Give number and symbol for Carbon (6, C)

7th Grade: Coupon swings (20) Obnoxious is to pleasant as radiant is to: (dull, bright, loud, quiet, soft)

8th Grade: Coupon curls (70) 4x-10=18, what is x? (7)

9th Grade: Big Boy Situps (90) What’s the formula for area of a circle? (pi)r^2

10th Grade: Merkins (100) What gas is needed for photosynthesis (Carbon Dioxide)

11th Grade: Air Squats (110) What is the belief that the US has the right to occupy all of America? (Manifest Destiny)

12th Grade: Flutter Kicks (120) SAT Vocab: What is an antonym for enervating (feeling energized, like after an F3 workout or after finishing all of school in 45 minutes)

Graduation Ceremony: Your coupon is your diploma, hold it high (rifle carry) and walk back to the parking lot.

Moleskin: Unlike Billy, you’re likely not a drunk who may fail to inherit his father’s business, but like Billy, working towards a clear objective in a community is pretty helpful. Thanks to F3 for helping me do better during COVID along several dimensions.

CoT; Prayer: Energy, focus, perseverance, Bloomer’s son, Jazz Hand’s friend

SuperDora 02/23/2021 @ AO MASTODON

Knowing that it has been cold lately and there is a LOT of snow and ice on the ground that will be in various states of melting due to the warmer temperatures, the challenge was to create a workout that left the PAX warm and not too wet for coffeeteria. It turns out that the snow was not melty, but instead was packed down firmly with a nice crust on top.

YHC has always been a fan of the Dora, but the Exicon came up short while planning this workout so a new Dora was born, the SUPERDORA. Answering the new challenge were many of the stalwart HIMs: Big Mac, Bloomer, Cookies, Da Vinci, Hotbox, Jolly, Katniss, Panhandle, Saga, Shiplap, TBTF, T-bone (first RESPECT workout!), Tortuga.

Warmorama was a simple classic to get the blood pumping: motivators, goofballs, and a quick lap of high knees around the parking lot while the Q explained the beatdown.

Queue the SuperDora:

Instead of pairs, the entire PAX was challenged to complete exercise reps with interspersed bursts of cardio. (up to 4 exercises between cardio, the PAX chose various strategies)

Cardio options were: run up or down Hoffa, Run to the cooties/SHOP or back (convenient if targeting one of the exercises that are executed there), 15 Burpees, 25 Star Jumps, 30 Mountain climbers

Exercise rep targets were determined by number of PAX to show. The Q failed at math and targeted about 2000 reps per PAX to spread around. It should have been half of that. The board was prepared with 72 marks per exercise group, each mark originally representing 75 reps which the Q revised to 60 reps, it really should have been 30 reps per mark.

Categories and exercises available per type:

4320 – Chest/shoulders: Derkins, Chest press, Picnic table press

4320 – Back/shoulders: Bent over coupon rows, Inverted rows, Pull ups

4320 – Mary: Leg raises, American Hammers, jumping crunches or imperial walkers

4320 – Legs: Weighted squats, Calf raises (4 = 1), Pistol squats

4320 – More: Kettlebell swings, Coupon Curls, Rifle carry (4 paces = 1)

There was a bit of confusion at the beginning, but the PAX quickly figured out their strategies and started their exercises. After a few minutes YHC noticed it was rather quiet, the grunts of hard work and an odd picnic table being dropped were about all that broke the silence. Thankfully Shiplap had already taken matters into his own hands and came back from his rifle carry to the car with Jock Jams pulsing, this clearly invigorated the PAX and they picked up the pace.

Nonetheless, the absurd number of reps planned were not coming off of the board fast enough and ⅔ of the way through the beatdown the Q called “double credit” and each set of 60 reps took 2 marks from the board. Alas, it was too little, too late and we ran out of time with quite a few marks on the board. At least we didn’t run out of exercises before the end of our time.

Choose Your Own Adventure: Treasure Hunt Remix

Story: Through a strange twist of fate, you find yourself stuck inside a library of surprisingly morbid 1980’s “Choose your own adventure” books. Jumping from book to book, you are threatened on all sides. Zombies, cowboys, rival workout gangs, everyone is out to get you. There is only one way to survive: keep moving.

An oddly appropriate theme for a beatdown during life-threatening environmental conditions. 3° temperature, -14° wind chill, unplowed roads, cars stuck in snowbanks, duct tape giving up due to cold,  frozen coupons, back-to-back workouts in the same morning. Why did 12 PAX brave these obstacles? Were they driven by a simple treasure lust? Learn the truth at the end of this post.

The following story segments were stationed around the AO. Each workout accomplished earned PAX one of 6 puzzle pieces, which assembled would reveal the location of real, actual, buried treasure.

Choose your own adventure F3 Q treasure hunt
Your school is on a field trip to the zoo, and you’re trying to catch the attention of your new crush. With your friend holding on to you shirt, you lean way over the gorilla pit and smack the largest gorilla on the back of the head. Your friend loses his grip, and now you’re eye to eye with an angry gorilla, who is trying to decide if you are another gorilla, a snack, or his long lost girlfriend.
You’ll have to do your best gorilla impression if you want to survive until the zoo keepers arrive.
Do 75 total reps in any combination of these:
Overhand Pull ups Underhand Chin ups. Toe to bar.
You’ve aroused the anger of time traveling cowboys. They decide to teach you a lesson by “making you dance”. With pistol shots at your head and feet. You’ll be ducking and jumping to survive.
To dodge the bullets perform 150 reps total of any combination of:
Bench dips
Box Jumps
Step ups


You’ve fallen into the hands of several elderly zombies. They will eat your brains, unless you can blend in with them.
To blend in, you must perform 400 reps on 4 of the permanent workout machines in this area. Choose 4 machines. Bodyweight chest press, inclined sit-up, elliptical movement, etc.
Any machine, any rep count, until your team gets to 400 reps total.

A rival workout gang claims Northside Park as their exclusive territory, unless you can beat them at their own game.
To prove you’re the strongest, you need to do 150 reps in any combination of:
Merkins,
Burpees,
Star Jumps,
Squat jumps

Out of innocent curiosity, you wandered behind the bathhouse. You walked right into a secret meeting of bully’s club called Rodney and the Rathbones.
They’ll let you go free, but only after you do 150 of these (total reps in any combination):
Bent over rows,
Kettle bell swings,
Coupon lunges
You drank something, and it wasn’t Kool-aid™. You can’t tell if someone laced your drink with PCP, Speed, or just the heady power rush that accompanies becoming commander in chief.

Work off your power rush and prove you’re the best by performing 150 Total Reps in any combination of:
Coupon Bicep Curls,
Overhead Press,
Scull Crushers.

Pre Workout: Treasure is buried under snow in the middle of a frozen lake.
Story segments and workout options were positioned around the AO.

Pretty good snow camouflage for the treasure
Thermal imaging makes the treasure spot more visible
This was enough to lead Tortuga and Jazz hands to the treasure.
The Real Treasure map
Approaching the winners
The Victor’s circle
The Treasure

Archive and Captain crunch showed off by getting to the treasure 20 minutes ahead of schedule. Getting tired of counting and re-counting their treasure, they then returned to the workout to “wave their beef sticks in our faces.”

This workout was nobody’s first rodeo, but it was still a wild ride. Why did we do it? Because we know these things to be truth:

  1. Adversity brings us together.
  2. Working hard makes us stronger.
  3. Friendship is the real treasure. Friendship, and toe-warmers.

    Thanks for the memories.
    -Sparrow

Monday Ruck Club – January 25, 2021

Backblast: Monday Ruck Club – January 25, 2021

15 PAX in attendance including an FNG!

WOR:
10 Abe Vigodas
10 Tappy Taps
OYO Quad Stretches
10 Burpees

Q decided to ease into this week’s beatdowns with an easy Ruck around Mastodon. The PAX took turns leading the way and stopping to call out an exercise of their choice. The only caveat was that it couldn’t be more than 10 reps. Not surprisingly, a couple of PAX (I’m looking at you @Banks and @SAGA!) got around the 10 rep max by calling exercises with several steps built into each rep.

@Jolly – 10 air squats
@Big Mac – 10 burpees
@Panhandle – 10 Merkins
@Katniss – 10 Ruck Pulls
@Banks – 10 Dan Taylors!
@Shiplap – cross bridge without feet touching the ground
@Da Vinci – 10 burpees
@SAGA – 10 Birthbees!
@Sparrow – trek up Hoffa
@Jolly – 10 burpees

Prayers for several job openings as they seek the right candidates. Welcome @Rainbow Bright! (edited)

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1.16.2021 – Catch One, Catch All (C.O.C.A)

Welcome to F3

Our 3 Fs are: Fitness, Fellowship & Faith

5 Core Principles:

  • Free of Charge
  • Open to all men
  • Held outdoor, rain or shine, heat or cold
  • Led by men in a rotating fashion
  • End with a Circle of Trust

I am not a professional. I have no knowledge of any injuries. You are here at your own risk. Know your body, know your limits. Be safe and modify as needed.

On this beautiful Saturday morning. I decided to have 15 PAX relive their childhood by focusing on a game that most are familiar with, Catch One, Catch All. I couldn’t just have PAX running around the entire hour so I made sure that PAX got in plenty of Burpees.

WoR: Good mornings IC x25, Center/Right/Left stretch x 25 count, SSH x8

Thang 1: C.O.C.A.

My version of a Baton March. The PAX in front of the line sets steady pace. The PAX at the end of the line drops off and performs Burpees x10. That PAX then moseys back to catch up to the last PAX in line. Both PAX then drop off and perform burpees x10 IC. Rinse and repeat until PAX in front of line is caught. PAX that was last to get caught then drops to back of the line to begin again with Burpees. Rinse and repeat.

PAX completed 2 Rounds around AO Mastodon and surrounding neighborhood since I forgot to set some parameters. Even a seasoned Q has a brain fart. @Archive made sure to run with all this freedom!

Thang 2: Burpees and Sprints

PAX lined up one opposite ends at the bottom of Hoffa. PAX to sprint/mosey to opposite end and perform Burpees x10. AMRAP for time.

MoM: Plank for time. @Archive, @Captain Crunch and @Wet Burrito were the three to survive until time was called. LBCs x25 IC, Alternating Cockroaches x25 – Dying cockroach position, knees slightly tucked inward, arms in front of chest. IC count, one arm reach back towards head, back to start position, alternate to opposite arm.

NoR: @Hotbox, @Sparrow, @Captain Crunch, @K-pop, @Crash, @Crack, @Archive, @Jazz Hands, @Cookies, @Wet Burrito, @SAGA, @TBTF, @Big Mac, @Bloomer, @Noodles

CoT: Thanking good for a beautiful day. Thanking good for the regions starting to reopen during COVID. Health and recovery for Wet Burrito’s shoulder so that he may be back with group.