Tortuga True or False, 1/23/21

Backblast, 1/23/21, Tarpit, 5:30AM

WOR: slow jog around the parking lot, mtn climbers, Abe Vigodas, slow merkins, slow colt 45 (just 15)

Getting inspiration from @panhandle’s anniversary Q, I thought it would be fun to tie in some Tortuga life trivia with the morning’s beatdown.

Tortuga True or False

A three count after each statement was made, all PAX signaled their True with a thumbs up or their false with a thumbs down. Their answers determined the number of reps for each exercise.

All correct – 25 reps, Most correct – 50, Most wrong – 75, All wrong – 100

3 blockee buy in, winner adds 3 more. They accumulate. First to finish yells, “I feel outstanding!” Everyone stops and goes up and down the ramp. 25 or 50 reps: carry coupon, 75, 100: no coupon.

  1. Tortuga has never been skydiving. False, most wrong, 75 reps

Overhead press

  1. Tortuga has run a marathon in under 3 hours 40 minutes. False, most wrong, 75 reps

One handed rows

  1. Tortuga has been fired from a paying job twice. True, most right, 50 reps

Kb swings

  1. Tortuga’s sister used to work at the Pentagon. False, 50

Goblet squats

  1. Tortuga still has one baby tooth. True, 75

Jump overs

  1. Tortuga doesn’t have his own cell phone. True, 50

derkins

  1. Tortuga did 1000 burpees in a day. True, 25

thrusters

  1. Tortuga repeated first grade. True, 75

Bent over rows

  1. Tortuga has a nephew named after him. True, 50

Weighted lunges

  1. Tortuga has shaved his eyebrows. False, 75

Burpees, or side pulls. We split these between partners, 75 total for two PAX.

Mary: 41 flutter kicks with coupon held straight up, IC.

We finished with a slow cool down jog around the parking lot.

NOR: Panhandle, Noodles, Katniss, Saga, Davinci, Cookies, Banks, Beaker, Shiplap, Tortuga (Q), and Wet Burrito for the NOR/COT/ Coffeteria (with a fractured shoulder)

COT: Beaker has a friend whose dad passed away recently. They had a hard relationship and his friend is settling things in Nevada now. Wet Burrito has had a shoulder fracture since early January. It was just correctly diagnosed yesterday. Panhandle’s father-in-law is in rehab at MarianJoy. Continued prayers for Bloomer and his family as his son undergoes testing.

Flags present: Tarpit, Mastodon

Celebrity Jeopardy

Alex Trebek brought the beatdown today.

F3 Wheaton is as strong mentally as it is physically. Out of 28 questions, 19 were answered correctly and 9 were incorrect, which led the Pax to complete 565 total reps of every exercise, including 100 burpees.

We serendipitously ended right on time, finishing the last question as the buzzer rang.

 

Excellent showing by

Welcome DeadDrop.

Potent Potables

You need this liquor to make a moscow mule

(WHAT IS VODKA)

25

Monkey Humpers

White creme de menthe & this liquor put the sting in a stinger

(WHAT IS BRANDY)

30

Kettle Bell Swings

This scandinavian liquor is made by redistilling alcohol made from grain or potatoes

(WHAT IS AQUAVIT)

20

Burpees

Bitcoin

This word is used to describe the creation of new bitcoin

Mining

10

Big Boy Situps

Are Bitcoin purchases, Pseudonymous, Anonymous, or Publically viewable?

Pseudonymous.

20

Flutter Kicks

Bitcoin lacks fungibility. Define Fungible?

Able to replace or be replaced by another identical item; mutually interchangeable.

20

Burpees

F3 Exicon

The Pickle Pounder

Begin in an elbow plank then alternate hip flexion and extension in cadence.

30

The Pickle Pounder

Rockette Dips

Perform dips with alternating leg kick at the nadir of the dip.

10

Rockette Dips

Mario

Double Box jumps on picnic tables (or stairs)… Jump to seat, jump to tabletop, stand up, walk down.

20

Mario

The office

If you’re doing CPR and the patient dies, what should you do next.

Harvest the Organs

1 min

Plank

When Michael Scott hands a giant check for $340 dollars to a stripper dressed as a nurse. Who is the check made out to?

Science

10

Carolina Dry Docks

What is Dwite’s porcupine named:

Henrietta

25

Merkins

Jack Handy

I bet for an Indian, shooting an old fat pioneer woman in the back with an arrow, and she fires her shotgun into the ground as she falls over,

is like the top thing you can do.

40

Chest Press

If Alien was my friend, I’d like to be with him when he went to the dentist.

When they started drilling, he’d probably go nust and start eating everybody. That Alien!

30

Curls

I’d like to be buried indian-style, where they put you up on a high rack above the ground. That way,

You could get hit by meteorites and not even feel it.

10

Burpees

Star Wars

In Revenge of the Sith and Attack of the Clones, what color is Yoda’s lightsaber?

Green

20

Shoulder Taps

The planet Endor got it’s name from another famous narrative, what was the name of the narrative?

The Bible. Saul and the witch of Endor.

30

Murder Bunnies

What were Luke’s aunt and uncle’s jobs on Tatooine?

Moisture farmers

10

Scull Crushers

Billionaires

Who is the youngest billionaire listed in the top 10 richest people in the world

Mark Zuckerberg

30

Crunches

This Billionaire is the CEO of Berkshire Hathaway

Warren Buffet

10

Lunges

How did Jeff Bezos respond to a blackmail threat from the national enquirer?

He publicised it.

15

Nipple Scrapers

Desert Fathers

St. John Climacus: Control you appetites before they

Control you

20

Side Straddle Hops

St. Poemen: If man remembered that it is written: “By your words you will be justified and by your words you will be condemned,” He would choose:

to remain silent

20

Squats

An Old man said, I would rather have a defeat with humility, than

a victory with pride

10

Burpees

Bible Trivia

What is the name of the oldest man in the Bible, and how old did he live to be.

Methusela. 969

30

Bent over Rows

It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a

quarrelsome wife.

30

Overhead Press

David’s son Absolom cut his hair once a year and weighed it. How much did it weigh?

200 Shekels (6 pounds)

10

Decline Merkin

535 Total Reps

 

Lightning Round

 

Current U.S. Presidents

The number Ten

Toast

The Pen Is Mightier (Automatic 10 burpees)

S-words and guns (“What is a ‘dum dum bullet’?”, Hollowpoint,  10 Burpees)

Things you shouldn’t put in your mouth

States that end in hampshire (Newhampshire, 10 burpees)

They out here saying

White people

(30 burpees in the lightning round brought today’s total to 565 reps)

 

Santa’s Secret Snack Hunt

Santa needs our help.

Mrs. Clause put Santa on a diet, so now Santa does his snacking at Northside Park (Ho, Ho, Ho.) Santa was not wearing a mask (does the beard not count?) so the COVID police chased him all over Northside park. A fan of action films, Santa tried tossing out his snacks to see if it would distract the cops, but alas, covid cops are vegan.

Now Santa is in the lockup, and there will be no Christmas, period.

Christmas cannot be saved, but it’s killing Santa to think about all those snacks going to waste. I saw Santa during a recent prison ministry visit, and he slipped me a map rolled up inside a twinky. Now it’s up to us to find Santa’s snacks and eat them.

If our group is under 10 on Monday, this will be a leisurely walk in the park. If we are over 10, we will split into teams of 4 for a cut-throat, eat-or-be-eaten snack hunt in the park.

Teams will be allowed to self select around themes:

  1. Fast track/need for speed/everyday-I’m-shuffling
  2. Beat down.
  3. Hold me back: diet accountability group.
  4. Pax just wanna have fun.

Welcome FNG “Beaf Stick”

11.7.20 — Jacked!

MASTODON PAX: HotBox, Archive, Noodles, TBTF, Jolly, SAGA, Cookies, Panhandle, DaVinci, Beaker, DBC, Jazz Hands, Sparrow, Big Mac, Captain Crunch (QIC)

Special Mention: Shamu, Tortuga, T-Bone, Gummi Bear, and Wishbone(T-Bone’s 2.0) made the Name O Rama after touring 13.1 mi of Wheaton.

It was a gloriously warm November morning and the PAX were eager to close out on the first week of DaVinci’s madness, the last thing between them and the glories of decorated coupons was whatever came to mind in the twisted brain of YHC. With eyes on the prize they braced for impact.

Warm O Rama

  • Motivators 7 + 7 + 7
  • Batwings ICx20
  • Mountain Man Poopers ICx20

Thang 1: Jacked Dora 7-7-7

For each PAX, At least one hill-run (up) must be crawl-bear and another must be inch-worm another Bernie, lunge down. Reps below are split, except for Pistol Squats

  • 700 x Hundreds (or American Hammers)
  • 70 Pike Push-ups
  • 7 Pistol Squats (that’s 7 for each leg, for each PAX)

Yurpee for the 6! (Just a burpee with a clap merkin + 2-tuck jumps, no big.)

Followed by a plank circle with each PAX doing one Yurpee around the circle

Thang 2: Spartan (Light)

  • 5 x hill sprints with 10 merkins at the top

Thang 3: Yoga Time! But first, Ironsides!

Ol’ Ironsides (Boat/Canoe + IC x 20 American Hammers, repeat as needed. This time, just 2 rounds)

Taking advantage of the unseasonably warm weather, we did some light yoga for the last 15 min to help those who plowed through the week. Table, Low Lunge, Crescent, Half-Camel, Camel, then wrapping up with Pigeon, Half Happy Baby, Spinal Twist

COR/NOR/COT: Prayers for both Cookies and Hotbox as they hit the road for work this week and for good sleep for Jazz Hands and work opportunities for his M.

10.21 Hilltoppers Coupon Club

Wet Burrito VQ

We warmed up with motivators, imperial walkers, Baryshnikov squats, Alabama @sskickers, arm circles.

Then had fun with 15 rounds of Hilltoppers!
30 squats (descending by 2) at the base of the hill/ramp and 15 alternating blockies/burpees (descending) at the top. Run/mosey or walk (like Banks) up and down in between.

I don’t know about the rest of you but I was a frozen burrito at 5:30 and a sweaty burrito by 6:00am.
Thanks team for the support: Banks Big Mac Da Vinci Saga T-bone Panhandle Tortuga & TBTF

Improv Comedy workout

Warmups
Motivator
Bat wings by ,
Mountain Man Poopers to 20
Abe Vigoda

The Thing

Circle of Block Exercises: “Go With It”

16 exercises, 16 reps each
Overhead Press
Curls
Block Burpees
Hodors
Leg over block
Jump over Block
Goblet squats
Superman on the Block
Nipple Scrapers on the Block
Kettle Bell Swings
(If you remember the other 6 block exercises, please put them in the comments below.)

Broken promises don't upset me.
I just think “Why did they believe me?”.

Merkins to the count of 10.

One person, and only one, says the number after each merkin. Count goes back to “1” if two people talk at the same time.

Heroes and Villains on Hoffa Hill

(This was ok, but not as strenuous as expected. I probably won’t do it again.)

Nipple Scrapers to 15

First Nations runs with two flags, two columns.

Circle of Trust

Bonus excercises:
10   Merkins.
“End on a Nipple Scraper” – 

Ruck Q: Getting to Know You


It is my opinion that the majority of male friendships develop gradually. Rarely do you say “You and I are going to be friends, so go ahead and tell me your life story now, so that I’ll know the details moving forward.” Sometimes years go by before you find out your friend knows how to fly an airplane, speak Spanish, or catch catfish with his bare hands. Those are important details.

Today, we hit friendship head on, sharing relevant personal details voluntarily, instead of waiting for a back alley run in with a polish street gang to teach you which of your friends is a closet bilingual. Relationships were built.

Begin workout:
Warm ups, with special attention to calf stretching.

Thing:

22’S

20 calf raises + two squat thrusters
18 calf raises + four squat thrusters.
Etc.

Ruck to Dan Taylor Alley,
DTs up to five.
Ruck back.
10 merkins

Along we the way we shared important details for future friendship.

  • Post
  • Block

No block selected.Open publish panel

  • Document

10.3.20 — The Menagerie Mile

17 PAX made it out for a standard 7:00 start at MASTODON (Fruit Loops, Sparrow, DaVinci, Archive, Noodles, Wet Burrito, CATS (the Musical), Jazz Hands, Cookies, Panhandle, Bloomer, Tortuga, Smokey, Double Beef n’ Cheddar, Loafers, Big Mac, Captain Crunch). The goal was to have a good memorable time and work out like animals.

Warm O Rama:

  • Motivators IC x 7
  • Goofballs x 15
  • Goofballs #2 IC x 15
  • Bat Wings (IC x 20 on each of the following: Forward Arm Circles, Backwards Arm Circles, Seal Claps, Overhand Claps)

Duck walk to the Tennis Courts

Thang #1: Animal Travel

  • Bird Dog IC x 20
  • Bear Crawl one tennis court
  • Orangutan one tennis court
  • Inchworm one tennis court
  • Lizard crawl one tennis court
  • Crunchy Frogs x 20
  • Crab walk one tennis court
  • Orangutan one tennis court
  • Alligator Merkin one tennis court
  • Lizard Crawl one tennis court

Duck walk to the other tennis courts

Thang #2: the primate house

  • Howling Monkeys, circles of 8-9 PAX each.

Repeat Thang #1 and Thang #2 (but three times around the Monkey circle with one round of Gorilla Humpers)

10 Minutes of Mary:

  • J-Lo #1 IC x 15 each leg
  • J-Lo #2 IC x 20
  • Flutters IC x 50
  • Flutters IC x 50

Lest one think there was no method to the madness, these exercises were all core and back focused, giving a good work out to the stabilizers that we depend on to not hurt ourselves. With any luck we all escaped injury this time around and helped work those muscles that will keep us from injury in the future.

COR / NOR / COT: Prayers for strength, courage, and endurance, for the week ahead — for unity for our nation and our people and healing for our president — that we may be examples of brotherly love and faithful witness amidst trying times — for TAR PIT, it’s growth, and our finding of the people who most need this in their lives.

9.26.20 — 3rd Anniversary Ruck

Every ENDEX is a new STARTEX.
14 Ruckers (Triple XXX (Family Restaurant), Wet Burrito, Cookies, SAGA, Smokey, Noodles, TBTF, Gummi Bear, Tortuga, DaVinci, Shiplap, Banks, Archive, Captain Crunch) Some old hands, some new recruits, some returning, some just waking up out of habit at this point.

All woke up slightly earlier than usual to commemorate three years of consistent effort at AO-MASTODON and to connect that with the breaking of new ground at AO-TAR PIT. Shovel flag in hand, they shouldered their rucks and started the trek. Having expressed their joy and affection in the heart-language of concrete blocks on Thursday, today they chose that brotherly, common language of time-under-load called “ruckership”.

Across differences of life experience and opinions about acceptable coffee-drinking pace and concerns about the Q’s sense of direction, the conversation flowed freely in the Gloom as the PAX rucked double-file. Work, unemployment, parenting, gardening, and the whole round world was ranged in our broad collection. YHC marveled at the assortment of interests and talents on display in such a narrow subset of individuals as had descended on F3 Wheaton in the past year. The miles ticked off quickly as the fellowship sped on in merriment.

Having received intelligence of a potential large object that could be “returned” to the dig-site of our mascot, we made a quick detour to try our strength against a discarded remnant of Perry (a broken chunk of telephone pole). While our heart was in the attempt, and even as the best among us were digging deep to soldier on at all costs, we ultimately saw wisdom less than 200 yards later. Nails, bulk, and the inability to get enough men underneath the load convinced us to let Perry repose in the Gloom only slightly nearer to our destination than before. We did however manage to bring a considerably smaller but no less symbolic relic of Perry along with us, and traded off carrying the more manageable load.

Crossing the new AO we wandered out the other side on to side streets and down dirt paths (even as the PAX’s doubts began to mount once more). But we had arrived at that forgotten remote spot where Perry had been unearthed years before. Our resident historian-bard, DaVinci said a few appropriate words to mark the occasion, and we set our relic adrift on the waters as the dawn rose.

Returning to the TAR PIT, Archive lead us in a prayer of gratitude and hope, as we asked for blessing on this AO and to the PAX who would labor there in the Gloom. Then, flag planted, and mindful of the time, we celebrated the moment with some Thrusters IC, before beginning the return trip to be present for the beatdown that was soon to take place at MASTODON.

The route home was direct, but hilly. YHC, unable to shake his one year of cross-country training, took it upon himself to charge up every hill of significant speed, exhorting the rest of the PAX to do the same. Flagging energy, but excellent pace saw the PAX quickly returned to their starting-place, to be greeted enthusiastically by the PAX who held down the day’s regular schedule. Partnering up, they moved seamlessly from Rucking to Blocks, to cap off not just an historic day, but an historic month for F3 Wheaton. And all before breakfast.

The PAX spent, they sat down to feast on burritos and (eventually) donuts and coffee. The energy of the day seemed a good omen for the group as we turned to our dual objectives of growing into two AOs and weathering the deepening Gloom of another Chicago winter.

9.18.2020 — EC Yoga Day, take 4!

As Shred-tember continues the valiant HIMs of F3-Wheaton have been making their mark. In order to survive the remainder of the month and keep pushing, they paused to limber up and catch their breath for the road ahead. And also to get one more coveted EC point.

Panhandle, Wet Burrito, Banks, DaVinci, and Crunch followed the flow set by their trusted yogi, Yoo Toob Vedayo. Mainly a reprise of the previous weeks to stretch out those legs and hips, YHC did add some slight modifications for warmth (it was 51 degrees at the start) and some upper-body spice with some extra sun-salutations and Crow-pose practice.

All in all another good day of limbering up despite the chill. We’ll see how next week goes as we round out Shred-tember!

COR/NOR/COT: prayers for Mrs. DaVinci on her birthday! — for Panhandle’s friends, one awaiting a cancer diagnosis and another with a court hearing — for the health of the group and Archive’s family in particular as they await testing results