OCR Training

WOR: Warm o Rama

Thing 1:

Traverse the cooties then complete all of these in 15 minutes. After you complete the list once, keep score of how many you go over.

Table Presses10
Parallel bar Dips10
Atomic Merkins10
Inverted Rows under the cargo net10
Pull ups7
Monkey bar sets2
Zipline ride 1 or 2 arms. (No legs)2
Traverse the swingset (under the swings, or along the top bar)1
Up Hoffa and back1

Big mac completed the list twice

Thing 2
Hit the list again in 10 minutes.


A two sided coin.
Side 1: It’s great to enter in to a game, even a dumb one, play by the rules and try to win. Wherever you are, be all there.

Side 2: But in the game of life, don’t let someone else assign the point values for your life. Salary may not carry as many points for you as a job with purpose, or living near the people you love. I sometimes forget just how free I am. I may spend a saturday rehabbing my house or cutting my grass, but I was equally free to use that time to go skydiving. Remembering that I am free to almost anything at any time makes my “obligations” more joyful, because I know I am choosing to fulfil them.

The Undertaker’s Nightmare Game

A game of carrying Pax around on stretchers, throwing water beads or pax as necessary.

BACKSTORY: Follow your heart. Chase your dreams. Believe in yourself. You can do anything if you set your mind to it…

These words go rattling around inside the empty pit that is your stomach. It’s over. Your dream is dead. 

For years you and your wife talked late into the night about your vision for a better future. The world needs responsibly sourced, sustainable, fair-trade toilet paper. But now, after five months without a single order, you’re closing your Etsy shop, forever.“Let them wipe with Charmin for all I care!” you blurt out, but you don’t really mean it. As one of the brightest lights in the toilet paper industry goes dark, the Charmin Twitter account is eerily silent. Now it’s time to face a future with nothing but mass produced, rainforest destroying toilet tissue. 

What’s worse, you need to get a real job. You don’t want to face disappointment like this ever again, so you turn to the only profession that can never die: undertaking. 
With no training or experience, you breeze through the licensure requirements, for once thankful to have a brother-in-law who works for the county. “How hard could it be to bury people?” you think. I’ll learn what I need from YouTube, and if I make a few mistakes along the way, who will ever know?

Act 2

Your wife runs in calling you to turn on the television. As firefighters put out the blaze you realize the unthinkable has happened, a major airliner crashed within 10 miles of your house. 98 dead, 2 survivors. How did those two people survive? Are they nuns or superheroes? If you ever get a chance to meet them, you will ask them where they sat.

Caller ID says it’s your brother in law ringing your cell phone. As county health director, this plane crash his mess to clean up. Suddenly you realize what that means, 98 burials. At $3000 a grave, you could be set for life. “Follow your dreams,” you think as you answer the phone.

Then your dream turns to a nightmare. The idiot. The fool has been reading the Internet and mistakenly took a children’s riddle for CDC advice on plane crashes during Covid. Bury the survivors. He wants you to bury those two survivors. He wants it done before sunrise, or he will bury you in paperwork and take away your license forever.You think about doing it. Burry those two and then drown your sorrows. But you imagine their families, their tears, their screams of “I’m not dead yet.”

You resolve, somehow, to get them out of the county before sunrise. With the help of your pax, you form a modern underground railroad. An undertaker’s nightmare. 

The Thang

Carry a man to the pool house steps and back to the bridge. Your team can only advance while a pax is being carried. Pax can lay on a stretcher, piggyback, etc.Along the way complete (per pax)
75 Merkins
75 sit-ups
75 Squats
The team with an extra pax must complete 10 extra dead guy curls and 10 hiphiphurray’s.


You can throw Orbeez™ brand water beads at the other team while your team is moving forward. If you hit someone on the other team, then everyone on their team owes one burpee before crossing the final bridge. “Shields up” (protection from burpees during orbeez attacks) is maintained by lifting the pax entirely above your shoulders.Action: the above happened.The team with 6 pax went all the way to the bridge and completed the exercises, making them the official winners. The last exercise they completed was to overhead press the Pax on the stretcher. The momentum was such that the Pax was thrown into the air and caught on the stretcher several times. This exercise shall henceforth be named the “Hip, Hip, Hurray”.

End of Game

Bonus excercises:

2 Minutes of Mary:
39 flutter kicks
39 count boat
39 silent count canoe.Bonus round: Hip, Hip Hurray’s for 7 willing Pax.
This added 70 overhead thrusters to our cumulative team total.

Quote: Beaker “This is not cult-like,” as the PAX circled around and lifted him in the air.Moleskin: Intentional gratitude is my second most powerful tool for mental health.

Backblast: Strike 2: Undertaker’s Nightmare
Date: 2/22/2022
AO: #ao_mastodon
PAX: @Sparrow @Archive @Tortuga @Panhandle @bumble @Panda Express @Beaker @Shiplap @Da Vinci @SAGA @Jolly
FNGs: 0
Q: @Sparrow
Total: 11

Murder in the 3rd Degree : an F3 whodunnit by sparrow

A Murder game where you perform exercises to reveal clues and hope no one stabs you in the back.


Simple Rules

  1. Your team of three visits each clue station around the AO. After completing the required exercise, one person on your team may read the clue to the rest of your team. The clue will give you the names of one or two PAX who are not the killer. Cross them off your list (provided).
  2. When one name remains on your list, that’s the killer.  Run back to the flag and write your guess on the paper attached to the flag. Each pax has one guess per game. If you are the first team to correctly guess the killer, you win.
  3. If you know for sure that someone is a killer and you feel threatened by them, you may kill them in self defense. 
  4. If anyone touches you and says bang, you are dead.

If you don’t like complicated games, you can stop reading. With those 4 rules you can play the game, and maybe win.

Detailed rules 

for those who want to be killers

The Killer

If you submit an application to be a killer the night before the game, you will provide the clue maker with private details about yourself, true anecdotes that only you will recognize. The clue maker will sprinkle your anecdotes in with the other clues.  At the beginning of the game you will not know you are the killer. The killer will realize his secret identity as he recognizes the self describing anecdotes he provided before the game.

Example Clue: The Killer is not Cookies or Jazz Hands. The killer wet his pants in the third grade, but managed to play it off as a spilled drink.

When you become fully aware that you are the killer, you must whisper “I am the killer” under your breath. You will then need to make a choice regarding your teammates: lie to them, kill them, recruit them (or all three but not in that order.)


After you whisper “I am the killer”, you will at first have no bullets, so you should lie. You might volunteer to read the clue after your team completes the next exercise. Whatever is written on the paper, you might choose to say “It says the killer is not Body Pillow or Me, and that the killer drinks Michelob ultra and grew up on a farm.” Only one pax per team is allowed to see each clue, so they will have to take your word for it.


If you are the killer, you earn bullets (or credits if you prefer that word) by completing the exercises at the clue stations. After you whisper “I am the killer”, you begin earning 1 bullet for each future pain station you complete. If you have two civilian teammates, you must complete two pain stations before you have enough credits to dispatch them both at the same time (preferable, if you ask me). To kill a PAX, touch them and say “BANG”. They are dead. 


The killer can recruit people to his killer team, where they can earn bullets together and make kills.  One recruiting method is a finger between the shoulder blades and a whispered “Freeze, join my team or I’ll kill you”. 


At any point during the game, any living pax may run to the flagpole and make an accusation by writing the killer’s name on the flagpole paper. 

Ways to identify a killer: 
1. Complete the pain stations to reveal clues that eliminate all suspects except the killer. You will be provided with a list of Pax who could be the killer. Pax who show up without HCing the will still be allowed to play, but their name will not be on the list. 
2. Witnessing a murder. If you are witness to a murder, but have not been killed yourself, make a run for the flag pole and write down your accusation. You cannot be killed while touching the flagpole, so hold the pole and write carefully. 3. A hunch. If someone on your team of three starts acting funny, maybe he has realized he’s the killer and is saving up credits to kill you. Now is your chance to peel off and win the game. 

After you have guessed

Each pax can make only one accusation per game, So a team with 3 Pax will have a total of 3 guesses and if one guess is correct the whole team wins. After guessing, you may continue completing stations to reveal clues as long as one team member still has a guess remaining.  The first team of three that has a member make the correct written accusation wins right to display the justice emoticon: :scales:


If, without breaking any rules, the killer can prevent his name from being written on the flagpole paper by a live pax within the time frame allotted, he wins, gaining freedom, respect, and the right to display the killer emoticon. The killer does not have to be alive to win. 

End of Game

When multiple teams have written their accusations and have stopped pursuing clues because the killer’s cover is blown, that’s when the cluemaker will declare the end of the first game. There may be time for a quick reset and a second game with a second set of clues. 

Game Play


Weapons are allowed. See 2nd Amendment.

Amendment 1 – The Killer’s Team

When the killer first becomes aware of his role (by reading clues), he has zero bullets and must earn them one at a time by completing new pain stations. If the killer successfully recruits both of his teammates to become killers, their new team of 3 killers immediately receives one bullet per each clue station previously completed by that team. If they revealed 6 clues before becoming a team of killers, then that team has 6 bullets. Moving forward, your team earns one bullet for each killer pax who completes each pain station. A team of 3 killers earns 3 credits per pain station. A team of 6 killers earns 6 credits at each pain station. The team of killers (or Mafia) can grow as large as they choose, but their success is only measured by their ability to protect the one original killer from accusation. The killer’s team must stay together as a tight group and should therefore be easily identifiable as such. No two members of a killer’s team may be more than 12 feet from each other. Killer teams may not dispatch a runner, or spread out in any way. Killers may be killed. 

Amendment 2 – The right to bear arms

Small nerf Guns, rubber chickens, small squirt guns, or other non-painful items may be used as weapons. All weapons must be declared and demonstrated during warm-o-rama or else they may not be used. To kill with a weapon, shoot or touch someone and then say “BANG” loud enough for them to hear you. They are not dead until they hear you say bang.  Laser pointers and flashlights may be used as weapons, but must include shouting the PAX’s name between each kill, and may only be used within 20 feet of the victim. Examples: If you were well hidden, you could shoot nerf bullets at 3 people in quick succession and then say “bang, bang, bang”, and all three would be dead. If you had a laser pointer, you must say the pax’s name and “bang” while the light is touching them, so you wouldn’t be able to “sweep” your light across three people and then say bang bang bang. 


Instead of “bang” a killer may say “freeze”, and you are then held at gunpoint for up to 30 seconds. This gives you a chance to talk. He can still kill you during the 30 seconds. Calling a freeze does not cost the killer any credits. Each killer can freeze one person at a time (so a team of three killers could freeze a regular team if they were quick enough.)  If the killer walks away without killing you, you are no longer frozen. Whenever the freeze is over (30 seconds or the killer leaves), you are free to kill the killer.

Self Defense

Civilians (i.e. non-killers) can kill in self defense. They do not need to earn credits. They must, however, be absolutely sure that the person they kill is indeed a killer.  If a civilian kills someone who is not “the killer” or “on the killer’s team”, they become guilty of manslaughter and are out of the game, must do 20 penalty burpees, and face a firestorm of media criticism. Self defense will be defined very loosely for the purposes of our game. If a killer and civilian kill each other at the exact same time, then the tie goes to the unarmed-or-less-heavily-armed person.

Dead PAX

If you get killed, that is unfortunate. You cannot reveal who killed you or make other helpful comments to those still in the game. You can however continue exercising at each station as though exercise were your only real reason for coming today and who cares about a silly old game anyway. 


Unlike the killer’s team, civilian teams are not required to stay close to each other. If desired, they could run to three different pain stations and try to acquire three clues.  At each station one PAX would have to do 3X the reps to cover the reps of the missing teammates. If 3 pax are together and one peels off to record a guess at the flag, the two remaining pax should cover his reps if they want to keep advancing through the clues without him. If a team loses one pax to death or the dark side, they do not have to cover his reps as they advance through clue stations. 

Fine print for Archive and people who think like him.

  • Touching the flag pole grants immunity. Pax cannot be shot or killed while touching the flag pole.
  • Killers must stay 12 feet away from the flag pole.
  • The Flag pole, flag-pole-accusation-paper,clip board, and pen cannot be touched or moved by killers.
  • Clues may not be moved, hidden, stolen, obstructed, forged, burned, or obscured in any way.
  • There is no limit to the size of the team that a killer can recruit, but the killer’s team must stay in a tight group and will therefore be more easily identified as it grows. 
  • If “the killer” gets killed, but no one writes his name on the accusation paper before the time limit, then the killer wins. The killer’s associates may continue to defend his interests and honor after he is killed.
  • We will start the game with a mosey around the AO to identify the 12ish clue stations. Clue envelopes will be visible at our standard workout spots (Hoffa, Cooties, Dan Taylor Alley, etc.)
  • If the first game ends quickly, we will play a second round. The entire game ends at 6:10, so please help the Q clean up the clues starting at 6:08am.

Winner Round 1: Team Panhandle, for correctly accusing Saga of mass murder.

Winner Round 2: Big Mac, for silently killing a number of PAX without being accused before the round ended. (lightning round)

Musical Bears: a 1950’s beatdown

Ode to a decade when cars were fast, rock was king, and a slide ruler was a calculator. 

Musical Bears made its debut.

Shredtember Day 2


50 Side Straddle Hops

Butterfly stretches. Arms Circles. Toe touches.

Rock Around the clock.

Clock merkins, 1 per hour, forward and back. (24 merkins)

Clock Burpees, 1 per hour, forward, and if you can make it, back.

Jailhouse rock

Any combination of Grave diggers, Kettle bell swings, and bent over rows

The Twist

Any combination of American hammers, Block weighted American hammers, and the twist dance move.

Musical Bears

(Workout, Crawl, Find a spot)

Setup: Arrange coupons in a tight circle, 1 per pax. Remove 1 coupon and pax from the circle and move them to the center of the circle. 

Action: Call out an exercise (i.e. big boy situps to 50) everyone in the circle begins the exercise. Whenever the first Pax gets to 50, he begins to bear crawl around the outside of the circle clockwise. The pax who was in the middle of the circle immediately jumps out to fill in the open spot vacated by the first PAX. This means that now there is one spot too few, like musical chairs. After the first PAX completes a full trip around the circle, he looks for an open spot to land (signified by an unoccupied coupon). 

Finish: As each PAX finishes the rep count, he begins to bear crawl clockwise around the circle. Everyone must go their original spot, or if it is occupied, past it until they find a new spot. The last PAX will not be able to find a spot. He ends up in the middle of the circle. It’s his job to call out the next exercise, with either 25 or 50 reps.

We did a lot of rounds of Musical Bears. Most Pax agreed that this workout was harder than expected.

Sparrow, Panhandle, Davinci, Aloha, Wet burrito, Bad Debt, Bloomer, 8-Track, BOGO, Panda Express, Big Mac, Beaker, Saga, Jolly, Crack, Banks, Cookies, Cheese, Tortuga, Y2K, Katniss, Gummi Bear

7.27.21 – HAMILTON: the beatdown. Glee Week Day 2

A traditional beatdown, based on a 245 year old tradition called “America”.

Disclaimer: If you eat cinderblock today, that’s on you. I told you not to hold it above your mouth. 

WOR: National Aerobic championship theme. About 50 Side Straddle Hops, along with Mountain Man Poopers, Block Kicks, Side Lunges, Arm Circles.

Hamilton 1:The ten duel commandments

Repeat each exercise until they song names the next number.

  1. Squat Thrusters
  2. Grave Diggers 
  3. Goblet Squats
  4. Kettle Bell Swings
  5. Scull Crushers
  6. Rows
  7. Thrusters
  8. Curls
  9. Coupon Lunge

Hamilton 2 – M.O.N.K.E.Y- My SHot

Comparable to the basketball game HORSE, but on the Monkey Bars. Done to the tune of “My Shot” from Hamilton.

You and a partner spread out around the playground. Weaker PAX issues the first challenge, i.e. “traverse this section of monkey bars backwards without touching the ground.” 

If the challenger succeeds and the second pax fails, he gets the letter M, and so on until one pax spells MONK or MONKEY and the game is over. Loser does burpees until the other pax finish. 

(Note, we played this game for quite a while, since PAX were evenly matched and the challenges kept coming.)


Once one of each, anytime Julie Andrews says it. 

Do – Burpee

Re – Starjump

Mi – Squat

Fa – Bonnie Blaire 

Sol – D Bombers

La – Bird dog

Ti – Mtn Climbers

Do – Burpee

I think She sings these words at least 10 times. Near the end of the song, it got pretty absurd.

HAMILTON 3 – You’ll Be back

Divide into two groups. The “American Colonies” group runs while “The British Empire” group does burpees. It’s up to the revolutionaries to decide if or when they return and let the British stop burpeeing and run. The only required parameter is that the Americans be back before the 3.5 minute song is over.

In a brilliant twist of genius, Benedict Arnold Saga reset the song, thereby giving 1.5 minutes of Burpees to the Americans. This is what games were made for.

Moleskin: Say no to dueling.


Welcome 8 Track.

2.0 Day

Part 1: Big Kids (PG-13)

A very rare event in the life of F3, teenage children of both genders were allowed to work out with their fathers. Fathers who bring their 2.0s assume the risk of injury for themselves, their 2.0’s and their underfunded defined benefit pension plan.

Disclaimer, Count off, Here we go:

Warmups (Warm-o-Rama)

Motivators 7

Tap-y-Taps 10

Mountain Man Poopers 10

Abe Vagodas 10

Ranger Merkins 10

Thing 1 Scout Run

Scout Run, two by two, with flags. Short loop towards Hoffa. Flags stay in front. Scouts run from the back and accept the flag from the former line leader.


Thing 3 NERF

Split into to teams on opposite sides of the grass. Someone calls a high count exercise. The first two people who complete the reps run forward and grab a nerf gun. Anybody they shoot has to do 5 burpees immediately. If the two nerf guns are split between the two teams, they can shoot each other and the round is over. If both guns end on the same team, it’s a massacre. The madness ends when someone else finishes the reps and makes it to the top of Hoffa Hill.

Merkins 50

Big Boy Situps 40

Prisoner Squats 40

Little Baby Crunches 100

Bonnie Kathleen Blairs 40

Flutter Kicks (one is one) 100

Thing 4 Dora

DORA up Hoffa

100 Merkins
100 Squats
After the reps are completed, Noah’s ark up the hill. Choose an animal (crab, bear, bunny hop, Murder Bunny) and go two by two up the hill.

Thing 5 Global Warming


Count off.

PART 2: Little Kids

A lot of little kids came and did a lot of big things. Daddy’s-back pushups, weighted squats, 2.0 curls. Race up Hoffa and back (winner gets a donut). Pax Choice.

COT/NOR welcome FNGs.
Over the the SHOP for lots of donuts and refreshments courtesy of Big Mac, Katniss and Banks.
The 2nd F event while the kids play lasted roughly 2 hours. A good time was had by all. S.D.G.

Sparrow’s Intro to Old Testament

This workout was designed so that someday, somewhere, a man would make an intelligent comment about the Old Testament, and get some raised eyebrows from those around him. “How would you know anything about that?” they ask incredulously. “Well, you see, I one time did this workout…

“Motivators”, which were actually side straddle hops.
Calf stretches.
Mountain man poopers

The Creation of the Universe

1 In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.

Hold Superman like you’re hovering over the face of the waters.
Progress to Al Gore
God makes man: Man Makers X 10

The Garden of Eden

Calf raises around the garden. Eye to eye with your fellow PAX, enjoying relationship and a non-stressful exercise. Pass an apple from PAX to PAX until somebody succumbs to temptation and bites the apple.

The Fall of Man

Saga bites the apple. All hell breaks loose. 10 burpees.

Noah’s Flood

Pax pair up and complete 100 merkins and 100 squats together, then choose an animal and do that crawl up the hill, two-by-two. Circle up at the top of the hill to form an ark, then do flutter kicks and leg raises. The ark lands on Mt. Ararat.

The Tower of Babel

“Come, let us build ourselves a city and a tower with its top in the heavens, … And the Lord came down to see the city and the tower… and there confuse their language, so that they may not understand one another’s speech.” PAX TOWER/Human Pyramid.

Call of Abraham

God calls Abraham to leave his home. Abraham follows God. Abraham believes God’s promise even though in his own lifetime he didn’t see all of it fulfilled. The promise was true, and Abraham became a mighty nation. AMRAP Big boy situps 2 Minutes.

We give Isaac a miss.

Jacob and Esau

Jacob grasped the heal, we do one set of pull ups, your personal max. God renamed Jacob into “Israel” Jacob had 12 sons, who became the 12 tribes of israel. One of them was Joseph.

Joseph and the Coat of many Colors

Chest presses while we learned that Joseph was enslaved by his brothers. God had a plan for Joseph to be the leader of Egypt, a savior of his people, and the training ground for all of that was slavery and prison. Joseph saved his family by storing up grain before the entire world got hit by a famine.

Slavery in Egypt

Joseph’s family (Israel and his sons) were saved by traveling to Egypt and getting fed, but eventually things took a turn for the worse. Pharaoh enslaved the Jews. They spent their time making bricks. The PAX did 20 grave diggers, then a rifle carry up hoffa.

Exodus: Let my people go

God gives Moses a special upbringing and leadership training, and then tells him to go talk to Pharaoh. Moses complains, but it turns out God was right. Moses tells Pharaoh that God says “let my people go.” During the 10 plagues, God told his people to paint their doorways with the blood of a lamb, so that the angel of death would pass over their house. That sounds strange, but Christians also believe that the blood of Jesus is also able to spare us from death. PAX do squat thrusters reminiscent of painting an overhead doorway.
After 10 plagues and the death of his son, Pharaoh lets them go.

10 commandments

God gives Moses the 10 commandments while they are in the desert. Pax do 10 block merkins (later in the workout).

Wandering in the wilderness

God’s people make it right up to the edge of the promised land, but they refused to obey God and go into it, so he told them they could wander for a while (40 years) while they thought about it. PAX go for a fast jog (a fog) with an emphasis on picking up the 6, which creates the sensation of wandering.

Promised Land

PAX enter the promised land and enjoy some much needed rest.


The Old Testament is a beautifully written collection of history, poetry and prophecy. It tells the story of a God who desires relationship with us. If you find yourself asking “Why God?”, read the Old Testament and ask yourself “Why People?” People do some silly things, and God keeps moving towards us in relationship.

COT. Prayers.

Capture the Bag

A fast paced, high-heart-rate role playing game with dedicated roles for runners and ruckers. 

If future pax are reading through backblasts looking for ideas, I recommend skipping this one. It was a lot of fun to plan, but would have worked better with a smaller field of play or about 20 more PAX. Regular capture the flag might be fun to try. If you need a visual cue to recognize who is one what team, I thought “hats vs heads” worked well.

For natural and healthy reasons, our Mondays are divided between ruckers and runners. But there is much that unites us, not the least of which is sweating with friends before the sun comes up.

A game was designed with the following goals

  1. Ruckers carry heavy things
  2. Runners gonna run
  3. Everyone sweats 

Before the game starts, each pax will choose a running or rucking role, and maintain that role for the entire game. 

Runners will be running throughout the game, unimpeded by weight or pain stations. 

Ruckers will be carrying their rucks and occasionally a sandbag. Runners cannot carry. 

The entire pax will be divided evenly into two teams, with the runners and ruckers split evenly between the teams. 

The AO is divided into two even halves, four bridges divide the territory. Islands belong to the Northern team.

All of our available sandbags will be divided evenly between the two teams, let’s say team had 2×60 pound sandbags. 

At the start of the game, the ruckers on each team will carry their sandbags away from the starting bridge all the way to the other end of the park. If all pax reach the other end, they earn one point (In hindsight, this was probably unneccessary. It did create a more traditional ruck feel, but used up most of the time that could have been spent playing the strategy game).

The ruckers are trying to defend their sandbags by moving them around  constantly or by stashing with partial visibility them within 12 feet of the outer track.  Each sandbag was given a “certificate of visibility,” which had to be visible. (in hindsight, we had more daylight than expected and slightly less visible sandbags would have been fine.)

When ruckers are on their home turf, they will be referred to as “defensive ruckers”.

When a Rucker leaves his home turf and crosses a bridge in search of the other team’s sand bags, he is acting as an offensive Rucker. 

The runners primary job is to gather intelligence for their team. Runners should be able to spot the location of stashed or moving sandbags and report it to their Rucker teammates. Stashed sandbags must always be visible from the outer track. Runners also have the ability to send an offensive pax to jail when he is discovered out of his home territory. Finally, runners can empty their own jail by running past and tagging it. (in hindsight, the runners mostly just ran.)

In order to steal a bag, the offensive team has to challenge the defensive team to an exercise. If there are more than 2 pax involved, the challenges take place man-to-man. If one team is outnumbered, their pax have to compete more than once. For this reason, numbers are an advantage.

In the end, Archive’s team was a strong contender, both in strategy and exercises. Sparrows team (hats), proved a competent defender. Each team stole one bag, defended one bag, and made it across the park, for a tie score of 3:3.

Welcome FNG “Babysitter”
Welcome back Kotter, “Picasso”

Nerf 2: Electric Boogalo – The Hunt for Wet Burrito.

Warm 0 Rama

Warmup involving high rep block thrusters to surprise everyone who thought this would be easy.

Dodge Ball

Pax split into two teams. To start the game, everyone completes 20 Merkins before making a run for the dodge balls. 3 Squats are required before each throw. When you get out you have to run the perimeter of the tennis courts and then plank till that game ends.
Tortuga suprised us by having a vast knowledge of obscure dodgeball variants. We tried several of his variations.

Bears Vs Crabs

Pax are divide into uneven teams based on their preference for crab walking or bear crawling. Slightly more pax prefer bear crawls. The bears dominate every game, despite a number of rule variations designed to give the crabs an equal opportunity (no hands, hands, goalie rules, etc).

Nerf 2: Electric Boogalo – The Hunt for Wet Burrito.

David and Goliath, with nerf guns. Pax split into two teams. A challenger steps out from his team and challenges the other team to an exercise, naming his rep count (Let’s say, 50 squats). A defender steps out from his team and accepts the challenge on behalf of the whole team. Although the two pax are engaging in representative combat, all PAX present will do the exercise stated. When the first representative warrior reaches the target rep count, he picks up a nerf gun and fires on the other team. When the second representative reaches the target rep count, he also picks up a nerf gun and tries to shoot the attacker. The fighting ceases when either of two things happen: The attacker gets shot, or one of the other pax finishes the reps and runs to the top of the hill, proclaiming freedom for the captives.


Life doesn’t always go the way you planned, but when I shot that guy in the neck, life was good.

Choose Your Own Adventure: Treasure Hunt Remix

Story: Through a strange twist of fate, you find yourself stuck inside a library of surprisingly morbid 1980’s “Choose your own adventure” books. Jumping from book to book, you are threatened on all sides. Zombies, cowboys, rival workout gangs, everyone is out to get you. There is only one way to survive: keep moving.

An oddly appropriate theme for a beatdown during life-threatening environmental conditions. 3° temperature, -14° wind chill, unplowed roads, cars stuck in snowbanks, duct tape giving up due to cold,  frozen coupons, back-to-back workouts in the same morning. Why did 12 PAX brave these obstacles? Were they driven by a simple treasure lust? Learn the truth at the end of this post.

The following story segments were stationed around the AO. Each workout accomplished earned PAX one of 6 puzzle pieces, which assembled would reveal the location of real, actual, buried treasure.

Choose your own adventure F3 Q treasure hunt
Your school is on a field trip to the zoo, and you’re trying to catch the attention of your new crush. With your friend holding on to you shirt, you lean way over the gorilla pit and smack the largest gorilla on the back of the head. Your friend loses his grip, and now you’re eye to eye with an angry gorilla, who is trying to decide if you are another gorilla, a snack, or his long lost girlfriend.
You’ll have to do your best gorilla impression if you want to survive until the zoo keepers arrive.
Do 75 total reps in any combination of these:
Overhand Pull ups Underhand Chin ups. Toe to bar.
You’ve aroused the anger of time traveling cowboys. They decide to teach you a lesson by “making you dance”. With pistol shots at your head and feet. You’ll be ducking and jumping to survive.
To dodge the bullets perform 150 reps total of any combination of:
Bench dips
Box Jumps
Step ups

You’ve fallen into the hands of several elderly zombies. They will eat your brains, unless you can blend in with them.
To blend in, you must perform 400 reps on 4 of the permanent workout machines in this area. Choose 4 machines. Bodyweight chest press, inclined sit-up, elliptical movement, etc.
Any machine, any rep count, until your team gets to 400 reps total.

A rival workout gang claims Northside Park as their exclusive territory, unless you can beat them at their own game.
To prove you’re the strongest, you need to do 150 reps in any combination of:
Star Jumps,
Squat jumps

Out of innocent curiosity, you wandered behind the bathhouse. You walked right into a secret meeting of bully’s club called Rodney and the Rathbones.
They’ll let you go free, but only after you do 150 of these (total reps in any combination):
Bent over rows,
Kettle bell swings,
Coupon lunges
You drank something, and it wasn’t Kool-aid™. You can’t tell if someone laced your drink with PCP, Speed, or just the heady power rush that accompanies becoming commander in chief.

Work off your power rush and prove you’re the best by performing 150 Total Reps in any combination of:
Coupon Bicep Curls,
Overhead Press,
Scull Crushers.

Pre Workout: Treasure is buried under snow in the middle of a frozen lake.
Story segments and workout options were positioned around the AO.

Pretty good snow camouflage for the treasure
Thermal imaging makes the treasure spot more visible
This was enough to lead Tortuga and Jazz hands to the treasure.
The Real Treasure map
Approaching the winners
The Victor’s circle
The Treasure

Archive and Captain crunch showed off by getting to the treasure 20 minutes ahead of schedule. Getting tired of counting and re-counting their treasure, they then returned to the workout to “wave their beef sticks in our faces.”

This workout was nobody’s first rodeo, but it was still a wild ride. Why did we do it? Because we know these things to be truth:

  1. Adversity brings us together.
  2. Working hard makes us stronger.
  3. Friendship is the real treasure. Friendship, and toe-warmers.

    Thanks for the memories.