6.28.2021 Monday Menagerie

5:00am EC Run: Whittler, Shiplap & Gummibear: Got in about 3 miles.


  • 15 cross country skiers
  • 15 squats
  • 10 shoulder taps

Runners: Whittler & Cheese got in just under 5 miles.

Ruckers: Archive & TBTF.

Murphees: Banks, Panhandle, Jolly, Shiplap, Gummibear, hotbox, and Katniss. Katniss finishing first.

Heist sighting with 2.0.

NOR/COT: Prayers for banks home sale, Panhandle’s sons travel. Whittler’s interview, Gummibear’s sister.

05.04.2021 JOKER Q

15 PAX POSTED: Crack, Banks, Katniss, Beaker, Tortuga, Jolly, Panhandle, Babysitter, Shiplap, BigMac, Sparrow, Saga, Hotbox, FNG Aloha! and Gummibear.

When I arrived I was not surprised to see Sparrow talking with the FNG I invited, perhaps attempting to brainwash him into thinking Sparrow invited him. Sparrow is very convincing.

All of the above were present for the first ever Wheaton Joker Q. We were solemn and yet brimming with anticipation as Shiplap passed out the deck of cards. The last card was given to me…I looked and there, on the piece of red and white glossy cardboard was the image of a court jester. I knew right then that I had the Joker. That’s when it occurred to me that I would be leading, right then after I saw the Jester which is a Joker, that’s when I knew.


An entire beautiful story could be written on the precisely choreographed warm up. But it is enough to state here that it achieved its purpose with grace and dignity; of preparing the pax for the workout to come. The warm up was not appreciated in its own time, but often genius is overlooked for the normal and expected. A great big sleek looking and ornately made musical box was present on wheels as well; compliments of Shiplap. Ode to Katniss and Archive: One must recognize and give homage to those who have gone before and inspired him to greatness.

The Thang:

We paired up and moved over to the pull up bars.

Pull ups I/C: Sets of 10,8,3 with the final pull up including a hold.

Race to the hill: Partner teams raced around the small loop to the hill. Partners alternated between doing Rifle Carries and Murder Bunnies and conducting either Overhead Squats and Blockees while waiting for the partner to catch up. Katniss and Hotbox were the first to the top of the hill.

ANB: Anything But MARY I/C. When we all arrived at the top of the hill the pax formed a circle and the Q graciously gave each pax (except Jolly and Sparrow) a turn at calling whatever exercise their heart desired as long as the pax could perform the exercise, it was not an ab exercise, and the pax could call cadence for the exercise. The q quickly realized that he should have not been so magnanimous and should have placed more specific parameters on his unruly subjects. Crack, Banks, and Saga started out all calling some form of a push up exercise with Banks performing 20 I/C burpees. I also learned that bigmac has an impressive vertical as he performed 20 I/C star jumps and Shiplap led a forearm exercise to simply show us we are all weaker then he. And of course when we arrived at hotbox and told him he could lead us in one exercise, he took great liberties and led us in three exercises.

A final sprint to the the top of the hill ended the first joker Q.

2/17 2021 Backblast: Ash Wednesday Workout AO Tarpit:

10 Pax posted: Katniss, TBTF, Shiplap, Banks, Bigmac, Whittler, Rainbow Bright, Noodles, Tortuga, and Gummibear. 

Warm Up: 

15 bend & reaches I/C

10 alternating push-ups 

 5 reverse push-ups

10 monkey humpers I/C

Short warm up jog 


Jogged around the lake doing a form of “Indian Runs” with paxs in groups of twos running ahead and performing 20 alternating push ups as a pair. We then did Indian Runs up the Hawthorne hill and jogged a neighborhood loop. Should we happen upon a church we were to do the following, increasing sets with each church: 

10 reverse push ups

25 monkey humpers

50 overhead hand claps 

We did as follows: 

1 set of above- First Science Church

2 sets of above- First Presbeterian Church

3 sets of above- First Congregational Church

We jogged back to lake ellyn where we then began crabwalking. Anytime someone needed a “rest: from crab walking,  10 burpees were performed. We accomplished 40 burpees total and then lunged back towards the start point, as our time was up. 

COT/NOR: Prayers for Bloomer and his family, for motivation, and thanksgiving for Noodles wedding anniversary.

Backblast: “Magic” 11/15/2020 0530 AO TARPIT

Some skeptics may say that the difficulty with ancient history is to know when history becomes myth, and myth becomes lore, and lore becomes lies. But fiction often contains more truth then non-fiction, and it can be more instructive & entertaining. That is why I am so tardy on this backblast. As we may all be a bit hazy on some of the finer details of what actually occurred so long ago on that November day, this presents and opportunity for legends to be born. 

It was a dreary spring morning around the year of 1994. It was one of those early spring mornings when the snow has just melted and the earth is caked with mud and the grass has not yet had time to heal from the winter thaw, and the leaves are not quite budding. As I, a young boy, looked out the window of my home, across the street a grave digger was digging a new plot. There, with him, was the cadaver. The grave digger was crying, he had known the deceased intimately. I lowered my eyes. I wish I could say this was the first time I had witnessed this scene, but it had occurred all too frequently. The grave digger, a boy a year older than myself, housed gerbils. He was good to his gerbils, but naturally being captive, they would die. Each death impacted my neighbor friend Tony. And so, there he was on Pershing Ave, digging a fresh grave in his front yard on a Saturday morning, while most children were watching cartoons.

I recently reached out to Tony to try and catch up with him after all these years. I believe he still lives in the area. We played phone tag. That is to say, he did not return my calls. The last time we played together, to my recollection, involved ending in me calling him some mean names and throwing some things at him, intending to hurt him. But that’s what you get when you cheat in monopoly.  It would be wonderful to catch up with him again,he is a great guy and I think he would really like F3. 

I would like to say a special thanks to the following people who came out and supported Magic. to; Saga, Beaker, Panhandle, T-bone, Tortuga, Katniss, Shiplap, Captain Crunch, and Noodles. To all pax who were not present; sadly you may be a part of the problem and perhaps have no affinity for gerbils.

MAGIC: Men Against Gerbils in Cages. If you are part of the local populace and reading this online, just know that this was all a joke and is not meant to offend or arouse anger.

On the cool damp morning of November the 15th, the above 9 paxs and myself held the annual Meeting of Magic, with the intent of it being an awareness campaign as well. At 5:30am there were no TV helicopters flying overhead, there were no paparazzi, and there were no crowds. This was our first annual meeting and we had assumed the going would be tough at the outset, and therefore we did not hope for much fanfare. It takes time to build traction. As Katniss said, our mantra is we believe the cause is so strong it speaks for itself. 

To feel the plight of the gerbil there were three stations, after a gerbil honoring warmup: 


Warm Up: 

  • Gerbil Poopers: X25 
  • Gerbil Wall Stretch – 30 seconds
  • Gerbil thinks he is getting out of his cage stretch otherwise called goofballs x20 
  • Gerbil Glute Bridge X10 


“The Wheel” (1 round performed on the stairs jogging down in between sets

  • Jog up
  • Sprint up
  • Left leg hop up
  • Jog Up 
  • Spring up
  • Right leg Hop up
  • Jog Up 
  • Spring up 
  • Broad Jump Up 

“The Cage” (You and partner perform following together)

  • 20 suicides (going out to 20 yd line) 
  • Push up claps 100 
  • Jump Squats 200 
  • Gas pumps 300 

“The SawDust Pit” 

  • Gerbil Dig- The Inch Worm 20 yards 
  • Gerbil Dig in place -maybe they are stuck on the wall…Suicide Bombers STOP and DO 5. 
  • Gerbil Crawl- Bear Crawl 70 yards 
  • Gerbil Dig in place -maybe they are stuck on the wall…Suicide Bombers STOP and DO 5. 
  • Gerbil- Prisoner Crawl….Don’t feel like this is dehumanizing. 10 yards. 

The final exercise, the prisoner crawls, brought me much joy. Yes there can be joy in the midst of sorrow. As I looked around to my left and right and saw Beaker and Saga with agonizing looks on their faces as they crawled through the grass with their hands behind their backs and foreheads in the dirt, I knew they were imagining how the gerbils must feel, and taking on the gerbil’s sorrows. Mission Complete. 

Endnote: I believe this was the last Q on the Glenbard West football field. Shortly following this, we found the field to be barricaded off. 

11.16.2020 Backblast: Ruck Club Monday Murph Variation

9 Pax Posted:  Crack, TBTF, Hotbox, Da Vinci, Saga, Panhandle, Cookies, Sparrow and Gummibear. 

Warm Up: 

Calf stretches 

10 MMP I/C 

10 Abe Vigodas I/C 

10 Shoulder Touches I/C 

Walk over to pull up bars 


Pax shuffled/Ran to Downtown Wheaton Public Parking garage to the top and back to the AO (2.5 miles total). With time remaining tried to knock out as many sets of 5 pull ups, 10 push ups, 15 squats. 

Time was constrained a bit due to longer run. Most paxs accomplished between 5-7 sets with the high being 9 sets completed. 


Prayers for Cracks family making some key decisions, prayers for Dupage Country and Covid Numbers, prayers for Big Mac, Bank’s family, Shiplaps father. Gummibear is trying to go cold turkey on TV/media viewing through the end of year, beginning today, with exception of Xmas movies with family.

10.19.2020 Monday Ruck Club

Paxs: Captain Crunch, Da Vinci, Hotbox, Panhandle, BigMac, Cookies, Sparrow, and Gummibear posted.

Warmup: 25 shoulder touches.


Ruck once around AO.

5 Sets: 3 pullups & 10 Pushups (object was to go down slow on each rep with a three count)

Ruck Around Short Loop AO.


Moleskin: I really like doing weighted pullups. Also 15 months ago when I started F3 I don’t believe I would have been able to accomplish sets of weighted pullups.

10.01.2020 “Ode to Shredtember”

It was the worst of times and it was the best of times. It was the worst of times because shredtember was over. And it was the best of times because shredtember was over. It has been nice to sleep in without threat of a point docked against you in a punitive manner. This week we perhaps are all a bit more productive at work, as we need not look at our phone every few minutes fearing that we may miss an EC session. However, this week our numbers are down as many of us miss such workout sessions on account of our new freedom. While others of us such as bigmac and wetburrito continue to call ECs, albeit wet burrito also partakes in sleep during such sessions.

As I said before, our numbers have been down comparatively, but not on this day. A large crowd gathered this day in the anticipation of who would be announced as Mr. Shredtember. Large crowds at times lead to mobs which at times leads to looting, and today was no exception.

To warmup we jogged in pairs through through the west end of the AO, sharing something that we have been working hard on as of late with our running mate. As we crossed the last bridge and approached our coupons, coupons that were planned to be the foundation of today’s q session, we were shocked, stopped in our tracks, and flabbergasted to realize that not one coupon was there. They had been pillaged. Somewhere, some 15 or so guys are working out with our coupons and laughing because they didn’t have to pay the $1.50 per block like we fools did. We contemplated calling the police, but didn’t want anyone to go to jail on our account.

We quickly collected ourselves and found our bearings.

Warm Up Part 2: we performed 7 motivators and 10 burpees.

The thang:

Split up into three teams.

Teams moved from six different stations beginning from the westernmost bridge and ending at the southern most bridge. Teams had to move utilizing the bear crawl, lunge, and crabwalk in between stations. The following were completed at the respective stations:

station 1: 30 burpees

station 2: 40 spiderman pushups

station 3: 50 jungle bois

station 4: 60 bouncing betties- jumping lunges

station 5: 70 imaginary block leg overs

station 6: 80 squats

Team one finished first and was able to knock out 18 pullups while waiting for the other teams.

NOR/COT: Many paxs were here today as the video will show, including an FNG, who is new no longer; Quarter. Great to have everyone here.

Shiplap and Archive announced the winner of shredtember. It was and it is Davinci. The block he was presented with is beautiful and glorious and a true work of art. We were all very much moved. We wanted to hug but did not, due to social distancing. Songs were sung, photos were taken, tapestry’s were painted. poems were penned, and a legend was born today. We also thanked the founder of the feast; shiplap, for making shredtember possible.

NOR/COT: When I asked for prayer requests, captain crunch scolded all of us for sleeping in so much during the past three days. No rest for the weary. Amen.

PS: Crunch in all sincerity thanks for holding the line. Wetburrito you were an animal at shredtember last month and if anyone deserves a fartsack it is you. Davinci I am very happy you won shredtember. Nice job to Tortuga as well coming in a close second.

EC 9:00pm Night Run 9.25.2020

Shamu and Gummibear arrived at AO Mastodan. The AO was a buzz of activity, with the tennis courts lit up and in full use, and cars set up through the various parking lots with a kind of tail gaiting hang out party going on. Sometimes I forget that there is a night life after 9pm.

The Thang: We set out on a run heading towards AO Tarpit. We ran 2.5 miles out and 2.5 miles back for a total of just over 5 miles at a 7:53m pace. I must admit the fog of shredtember has begun to cloud my brain. While it was a beautiful, almost summer evening, and we had good conversation, I felt as though we were running at a 6 mile pace. I was hoping at some point Shamu would volunteer that we walk or at least slow a bit, but he did not. He did not seem to be panting as I was. I was tired. I am tired. My feet were hurting from nothing in particular. I believe I asked Shamu to repeat something he had just told me about 10 different times. I was great company.

COT: Prayers for a family both Shamu and I know, as the mother health limitations. That God would bless them and be gracious to them.

EC 9.25.2020 Iron Pax Week 2 Make up.

5:30am on a beautiful Friday morning Wetburrito and Gummibear met at AO Tarpit for Iron paxs week 2. We were tired, as it was the end of the week and end of Shredtember. We were a bit groggy and perhaps slightly dehydrated from the AO Mastodan year three celebrations and festivities the night prior. We were a bit jaded with mankind’s fallen nature, after learning that the EC ruck accomplished last night would not count for any points, depite Shiplap stating that it would count prior to the ruck. We were a bit saddened for our once close friend DaVinci and his inability to understand what a real EC must entail and his Brutis like chess moves as of late. We were heartbroken for dear Tortuga and his pursuit of glory that may not be realized. However, despite all this we posted, and we worked. We did not complain that 2.5 miles away at the same time, some of our brothers were gathered and conducting a much easier EC, an EC organized after this one. No we did not judge them, not even once.


Scoring: Total reps completed in 43 minutes.  

The time begins with the start of the 400m run and ends 43 mins later with your final rep. The total reps completed in 43 minutes is your final score.
*The 400m run does not count towards the rep total, but MUST be completed at the beginning of each round. 

Place coupon at Shovel Flag.  Start timer.  Complete a 400m run that starts and ends at Shovel Flag (do not carry block)

Pick up block and complete 10 Thrusters at the Shovel Flag

Rifle carry coupon to cone A (please completely move beyond/around cone)

Complete 25 Decline Merkins at cone A

Rifle carry coupon back to Shovel Flag (please completely move beyond/around Shovel Flag)

Complete 10 Thrusters at the Shovel Flag

Rifle carry coupon to cone B

Complete 25 Blockees at cone B

Rifle carry coupon back to Shovel Flag

Complete 10 Thrusters at the Shovel Flag

Rifle carry coupon to cone C

Complete 25 Weighted Squats at cone C

Rifle carry coupon back to Shovel Flag

Complete 10  Thrusters at the Shovel Flag

Rifle carry coupon to cone D

Complete 25 Kettle Bell Swings at cone D

Rifle carry coupon back to Shovel Flag

Complete 10 Thrusters at the Shovel Flag

Rifle carry coupon to cone E

Complete 25 Vertical Block Presses at cone E

Rifle carry coupon back to Shovel Flag

Complete 10 Thrusters at the Shovel Flag

Rifle carry coupon to cone F

Complete 25 Alpos at cone F

Rifle carry coupon back to Shovel Flag

Complete 10 Thrusters at the Shovel Flag

**This completes one full round** 

Rinse and repeat for 43 minutes. 

Results: Wet Burrito posted an impressive 510 reps completing two rounds and finishing off with 25 manmakers. Gummibear completed 460 reps completing two rounds and the first round of thrusters.

NOR/COT: Prayers for Davinci and his ability to tell the difference between right and wrong and a true EC vs a fake one.

EC 9.24.2020: A Friend In Need

The night prior I had run into some discouragement as it appeared no one would HC for this EC. It is difficult for me to comprehend why this could be, as the EC was to begin at 4:45am; prime time for working out. To make matters worse, SAGA was sending me rude GIFs. I nearly canceled the EC, I felt like giving up on Shredtember, despite us being so close to the end.

Then, Hotbox, seemingly out of nowhere HC’d very late in the evening. Words cannot express what this gesture meant to one who had nearly given up hope on this EC.

I arrived at the AO a bit early, not wanting to arrive late or sleep in for a 4:45am EC session that I called. As I drove up, I realized that the morning could not be described as simply gloomy, but rather it was dark. Pitch dark.

The Thang:

Hotbox and Gummibear stepped off on a ruck around the AO at 4:45am. I must admit we had coffees in hand, but we were still working, we were rucking. In all we rucked two large loops around the AO plus a bit more. What were the other details you ask? What did we discuss? It was a wonderfully thought provoking discussion in all. We talked about “deep work”, “failure vs losing”, gravitas, work in general, and raising children. it was rather deep on a very applicable level. The morning in all was very beautiful and the temperature perfect. As we crossed the last bridge and stepped from the gravel path onto the brick paver parking lot, there was Divinci, preparing to begin his session….