Cookies VQ: 12/30/2020 @ AO TARPIT

After an overnight snow turning to rain creating extremely wet and “crunchy” conditions, this morning the rain tapered off at TARPIT for 45 minutes allowing 9 HIMS to emerge for a beatdown treating their cores with special honor. @Shiplap @T-bone @Hotbox @Da Vinci @Archive @Big Mac @Gummi Bear @Tortuga (Respect), and @Cookies marked their workouts in the temporary trappings of the ground, the snow will melt and wash away but their gains will remain. The only angels in the snow this morning were the PAX!WOR: Arms out the whole time, core tight
“Baseball” Bat wings and lunges – like bat wings, eagle wings, or dragon wings, but holding two baseballs in each hand. Forward circles with palms down, backward circles with palms up.
· 20x small forward, 20x small backward (fast)
· 20x medium forward, 20x medium backward (fast)
· 10x large forward, 10x large backward (slow)
· 20x bringing arms together in front and crossing over then as far back as possible (like Michael Phelps but slow)
· 20x bringing arms together overhead then all the way down at sides (medium pace)
· (Q forgot the last one) 20x standing lunges with arms straight out to the sides or at right angles then twist at the torso as far as you can without bending in the direction of the forward knee
10x SLOW Abe Vagodas (keep holding baseballs if you want)
15x GoofballsThe stairs/hill running activities were shelved for a future beatdown due to the wet/slippery conditionsTHANG: Paired up and each pair carried a coupon and a baseball bat to the grass on the far side of the field for a paired up AMRAP in 5 minute segments. One PAX in the pair performed the A exercise, the other the B exercise until one of them called switch then they would switch, alternating thusly for 4 minutes then a new A/B exercise was assigned during the 1 minute rest period. While this was an AMRAP workout, PAX were reminded that form is more important than sheer number or reps, focusing on correct shape of the spine and protecting their lower backA1 – Plank up/down with an Annie
B1 – American HammerA2 – Nolan Ryan
B2 – Lunge position but leaning forward (straight back), one arm coupon rowA3 – Coupon pull through
B3 – LBBBCs (LBCs w/ or w/o a baseball bat behind neck, only lift one side of the body with each crunch)A4 – Sit Through
B4 – Marching bridgeA5 – Dancing Bear
B5 – BBSU, twisting alternate elbow to kneeFinisher:
5 sets: Sprint to the fence and back then 5 flutter kicks (two kicks with each foot counts as 1) followed by a clockwise and counterclockwise Outlaw
Hold Al Gores for the 6
Laying down in the snow some of us took a couple of back stretches while @Gummi Bear tried hitting snowballs with the baseball bat
Mosey back to the parking lot for COTMoleskin:
1 Corinthians 12:12-23

12 The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. 13 For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body–whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free–and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. 14 Now the body is not made up of one part but of many.15 If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18 But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19 If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, but one body.
21 The eye cannot say to the [oblique], “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the [lower back], “I don’t need you!”22 On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor.

We lift up all of this PAX, our Ms and 2.0s. We lift up all that cannot join us in the gloom because their bodies don’t work the same as ours or their schedules make it impossible. We remember that in the body of Christ we are all together and interdependent but also all dependent on Christ.

Celebrity Jeopardy

Alex Trebek brought the beatdown today.

F3 Wheaton is as strong mentally as it is physically. Out of 28 questions, 19 were answered correctly and 9 were incorrect, which led the Pax to complete 565 total reps of every exercise, including 100 burpees.

We serendipitously ended right on time, finishing the last question as the buzzer rang.

 

Excellent showing by , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 

Welcome DeadDrop.

Potent Potables

You need this liquor to make a moscow mule

(WHAT IS VODKA)

25

Monkey Humpers

White creme de menthe & this liquor put the sting in a stinger

(WHAT IS BRANDY)

30

Kettle Bell Swings

This scandinavian liquor is made by redistilling alcohol made from grain or potatoes

(WHAT IS AQUAVIT)

20

Burpees

Bitcoin

This word is used to describe the creation of new bitcoin

Mining

10

Big Boy Situps

Are Bitcoin purchases, Pseudonymous, Anonymous, or Publically viewable?

Pseudonymous.

20

Flutter Kicks

Bitcoin lacks fungibility. Define Fungible?

Able to replace or be replaced by another identical item; mutually interchangeable.

20

Burpees

F3 Exicon

The Pickle Pounder

Begin in an elbow plank then alternate hip flexion and extension in cadence.

30

The Pickle Pounder

Rockette Dips

Perform dips with alternating leg kick at the nadir of the dip.

10

Rockette Dips

Mario

Double Box jumps on picnic tables (or stairs)… Jump to seat, jump to tabletop, stand up, walk down.

20

Mario

The office

If you’re doing CPR and the patient dies, what should you do next.

Harvest the Organs

1 min

Plank

When Michael Scott hands a giant check for $340 dollars to a stripper dressed as a nurse. Who is the check made out to?

Science

10

Carolina Dry Docks

What is Dwite’s porcupine named:

Henrietta

25

Merkins

Jack Handy

I bet for an Indian, shooting an old fat pioneer woman in the back with an arrow, and she fires her shotgun into the ground as she falls over,

is like the top thing you can do.

40

Chest Press

If Alien was my friend, I’d like to be with him when he went to the dentist.

When they started drilling, he’d probably go nust and start eating everybody. That Alien!

30

Curls

I’d like to be buried indian-style, where they put you up on a high rack above the ground. That way,

You could get hit by meteorites and not even feel it.

10

Burpees

Star Wars

In Revenge of the Sith and Attack of the Clones, what color is Yoda’s lightsaber?

Green

20

Shoulder Taps

The planet Endor got it’s name from another famous narrative, what was the name of the narrative?

The Bible. Saul and the witch of Endor.

30

Murder Bunnies

What were Luke’s aunt and uncle’s jobs on Tatooine?

Moisture farmers

10

Scull Crushers

Billionaires

Who is the youngest billionaire listed in the top 10 richest people in the world

Mark Zuckerberg

30

Crunches

This Billionaire is the CEO of Berkshire Hathaway

Warren Buffet

10

Lunges

How did Jeff Bezos respond to a blackmail threat from the national enquirer?

He publicised it.

15

Nipple Scrapers

Desert Fathers

St. John Climacus: Control you appetites before they

Control you

20

Side Straddle Hops

St. Poemen: If man remembered that it is written: “By your words you will be justified and by your words you will be condemned,” He would choose:

to remain silent

20

Squats

An Old man said, I would rather have a defeat with humility, than

a victory with pride

10

Burpees

Bible Trivia

What is the name of the oldest man in the Bible, and how old did he live to be.

Methusela. 969

30

Bent over Rows

It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a

quarrelsome wife.

30

Overhead Press

David’s son Absolom cut his hair once a year and weighed it. How much did it weigh?

200 Shekels (6 pounds)

10

Decline Merkin

535 Total Reps

 

Lightning Round

 

Current U.S. Presidents

The number Ten

Toast

The Pen Is Mightier (Automatic 10 burpees)

S-words and guns (“What is a ‘dum dum bullet’?”, Hollowpoint,  10 Burpees)

Things you shouldn’t put in your mouth

States that end in hampshire (Newhampshire, 10 burpees)

They out here saying

White people

(30 burpees in the lightning round brought today’s total to 565 reps)

 

Santa’s Secret Snack Hunt

Santa needs our help.

Mrs. Clause put Santa on a diet, so now Santa does his snacking at Northside Park (Ho, Ho, Ho.) Santa was not wearing a mask (does the beard not count?) so the COVID police chased him all over Northside park. A fan of action films, Santa tried tossing out his snacks to see if it would distract the cops, but alas, covid cops are vegan.

Now Santa is in the lockup, and there will be no Christmas, period.

Christmas cannot be saved, but it’s killing Santa to think about all those snacks going to waste. I saw Santa during a recent prison ministry visit, and he slipped me a map rolled up inside a twinky. Now it’s up to us to find Santa’s snacks and eat them.

If our group is under 10 on Monday, this will be a leisurely walk in the park. If we are over 10, we will split into teams of 4 for a cut-throat, eat-or-be-eaten snack hunt in the park.

Teams will be allowed to self select around themes:

  1. Fast track/need for speed/everyday-I’m-shuffling
  2. Beat down.
  3. Hold me back: diet accountability group.
  4. Pax just wanna have fun.

Welcome FNG “Beaf Stick”

Choose Your Own Adventure

In a weird twist of fate, you find yourself inside a 1982 “choose your own adventure” book.

You’ll have to complete a number of death defying exercises to get out alive.

Full Version with Pictures is available here as a PDF.

 

Your school is on a field trip to the zoo, and you’re trying to catch the attention of your new crush. With your friend holding on to you shirt, you lean way over the gorilla pit and smack the largest gorilla on the back of the head. Your friend loses his grip, and now you’re eye to eye with an angry gorilla, who is trying to decide if you are another gorilla, a snack, or his long lost girlfriend.

You’ll have to do your best gorilla impression if you want to survive until the zoo keepers arrive.

Do 75 total reps in any combination of these:

Overhand Pull ups Underhand Chin ups. Toe to bar.

You’ve fallen into the hands of several elderly zombies. They will eat your brains, unless you can blend in with them.

To blend in, you must perform 300 reps on ANY of the permanent workout machines in this area. Choose any machine. Bodyweight chest press, inclined sit-up, elliptical movement, etc.

Any machine, any rep count, until your team gets to 300 reps total.

You’ve aroused the anger of time traveling cowboys. They decide to teach you a lesson by “making you dance”. With pistol shots at your head and feet. You’ll be ducking and jumping to survive.

To dodge the bullets perform 150 reps total of any combination of:
Bench dips
Box Jumps

Step ups

A rival workout gang claims Northside Park as their exclusive territory, unless you can beat them at their own game.

To prove you’re the strongest, you need to do 150 reps in any combination of:

Merkins Burpees Star Jumps Squat jumps

 

Out of innocent curiosity, you wandered behind the bathhouse. You walked right into a secret meeting of bully’s club called Rodney and the Wrathbones.

They’ll let you go free, but only after you do 150 of these (total reps in any combination):

Bent over rows Kettle bell swings Coupon lunges

You drank something, and it wasn’t Kool-aidTM. You can’t tell if someone laced your drink with PCP, Speed, or just the heady power rush that accompanies becoming commander in chief.

Work off your power rush and prove you’re the best by performing150 Total Reps in any combination of:
Coupon Bicep Curls
Overhead Press
Scull Crushers.