5.18.19 – The Full Body Beatdown

QIC – Crab Legs

The Scene.  A beautiful morning (around 50 degrees and sunny), and a beautiful AO



  • Good mornings – IC (12)
  • Imperial Walkers – IC (12)
  • Quad stretch
  • Arm Circles – 10 front and 10 back (IC)
  • Motivators x 7


  • B.L.I.M.P.S.: (Burpees, Lunges, Imperial Walkers, Merkins, Plank Jacks, Squats) do sets of each of exercise at the light posts, returning to the 1st light post after finishing the squats set, decreasing by reps 5 each lap. (25 / 20 / 15 / 10 / 5)

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  • AMRAP  the following:
  1. High Knees – 90 seconds
  2. Overhead Claps – 60 seconds
  3. Mountain Climbers – 60 seconds
  4. Carolina Dry docks – 60 seconds
  • Bear crawl up the hill
  • AYG sprint up the hill

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  • LBCs
  • Scissors
  • Low Plank Twists
  • Guantanamo

COR: 11 HIMs: Hurt Locker, Glee, Sweet Gherkins, Noodles, Good Hands, Archive, Captain Crunch, Banks, Jazz Hands, Rhinestone, Crab Legs (Q)

2 FNGs:  Glee and Noodles

NoR / Announcements, Prayers:  Bump.  GrowRuck.


Henry Ford – whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.  Most of us know this quote, but it’s so true.  Today we faced adversity.  Are you going to give up?  That voice in your head telling you it’s hard, that it sucks, that there’s discomfort, that you should stop and quit.  Are you going to quit?  Tell that voice to go Fuck off!  Whether it was your first day, or your 176th post like me, this never gets easy, but maybe easier.  If you’re pushing yourself, you’ll be able to do more than before, but still meet the same discomfort and face the same voice?  Don’t quit.  There will always be guys who are faster, stronger, and ahead of me.  I push to catch them.  I may never catch them and so you may not also.  Don’t let that crush you.  Get better.  Be better than yesterday, than last month.  Strive to be the best version of yourself.

Prayers for Bump.  Prayers for F3 Detroit on their 1st day.  Prayers for both F3 Wheaton and F3 Naperville that we continue to add PAX and help men become better versions of themselves in our communities.  Prayers for any unspoken requests in our hearts.  We pray this in God’s name,

5.20.19 – Showing the Ruck Up

AO Mastodon – Monday, 5.20.19 (Captain Crunch – QIC)

An overnight dip into the mid 40’s, with a red-orange dawn through scattered clouds in the east and a large, dark, threatening patch of cloud in the Northwest (it dissipated about half-way through). After months of solo Mondays or duo-rucking with Archive, we had FOUR (!) HIMs hit the ground this Monday ready for some work. Hoser was there warming up when YHC waddled up (spare ruck in front and shovel flag in hand). Banks and one of our newest PAX Noodles rolled up to show all the other Wheaton boys how to #GetSome on a Monday. We divided up the weight and got after it. Four PAX doubles our previous record for Mondays. #MustardSeeds


  • Motivators ICx5
  • Abe Vigodas ICx15

THANG 1: Merkin Mile: (.25 mi + 25 Merks)x4 = 1 mi + 100 Merk

THANG 2: The Filling (on the Hill)

  • BearSnake
  • Bernie Sanders (AMRAP for time, ~2-3)

Mosey to the Flag for:

6 Minutes of Mary:

  • American Hammer ICx15
  • LBC ICx20


Prayers for traveling PAX this week (Archive / Banks) — Prayers for Noodles transfer application to Elgin, which should be processed soon. — Gratitude and prayer for fitness, fellowship, and faith for all HIMs in the region, the nation, and those who we haven’t EH’d yet.


It was a VERY different experience being non-solo this time. Inspiring to see others showing up and an answer to almost a half-year of Monday morning prayer time. Excited to see where it goes from here and motivated to get our unofficial Ruck Club off the ground.

5.16.19 -A Double-Dog Dora

A warm late-spring morning with a rosy dawn greeted two PAX as they met for a weekday Beatdown. After having a series of burpee and bearcrawl focused workouts that had all the PAX reiterate their abiding “love” for 2 of the 3 “B”s, YHC felt it was necessary to show some love to the third “B” – Blocks. The following exercise also contained no running, being fully Clydesdale friendly.

  • Abe Vigodas ICx21
  • Motivators ICx7

Flora 1,2,3: Dora’s lazy, mean stepsister. Partner exercise involving coupons. 100 merkins – P1 does 10 merks with feet on coupon. P2 holds plank. Flapjack, until 100 reps total. 200 LBCs – P1 does 20 LBC holding coupon high on chest. P2 holds legs 6″ off ground, and extends arms w/ coupon over chest. Flapjack. 300 Goblet Squats – P1 does 25 goblet squats. P2 lowers to bottom of goblet squat w/ coupon, and holds. Flapjack.

Immediately followed by:

Juggernaut Dora 1,2,3: like regular Dora, Partners do 100 merk, 200 LBC, 300 squats, but instead of running, Partner 2 does a Juggernaut for 25 yards and back. Juggernaut is a a carry with a Ruck + Coupon in each hand.

We had a little bonus time after so we rolled in some Colt 60s and then walked the coupons back to their home, wrapping up with

Aiken Legs: 20 squats, 20 square jumps, 20 lunges, 20 split jacks


  • Superman: lie on your 12 (belly) and lift everything so that just your bellybutton touches the ground, hold for 1 min, rest for 30sec, hold for 1 min.
  • 2 min of Flutters (ICx60)

COT: Prayers for hitting the week strong and finishing well, hoping to make good headway at work and at home. Prayers for Archive who was still too sick to post, and for other brothers nursing injuries or not able to make the weekday. Upcoming travel for Archive and Banks, a solid end to the school year for the Crunch household and a good start to summer.

Moleskin: This was another one of those slightly ambitious and probably crazy routines that we got the chance to just throw ourselves into. Banks does a good job putting up with my cray cray, he knew from the jump that something was up and didn’t seem disappointed.

5.11.19 – Going Beyond

The Mastodon – Saturday, 5/11/2019 (Parks and Rec – QIC)


Low 40’s, cloudy, damp, but no rain yet. Walked out the door in shorts and a sweatshirt. Traveled about 35 minutes from Oswego to Wheaton’s Northside Park with Mrs. Doubtfire.


I put out the call for an EC run and a few responded (Blart, Mrs. Doubtfire, Banks and QIC). We circled the park, made our way to the high school for 4 laps and then circled the park again. In total, we covered about 3.75 miles at a sub 9:00 pace.


I am not a professional, you are here on your own free will.
I don’t know your injuries, so modify as necessary to avoid getting hurt.
But push yourself hard.


Abe vigodas x 15
Annie’s x 10 each hand
Motivators 7-1
Mosey to flags

THANG 1 (smaller tennis courts):

Bearway to Heaven (modified due to people playing tennis on large tennis courts) – Bear crawl suicide of four increasing lengths with increasing burpees at the end of each length. This exercise is done to Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven.” This should be about 8 minutes (length of the song), but we modified it and it took about 12 minutes for the PAX to complete it.

Return to flags

THANG 2 (pool parking lot):

The plan was to use the tennis courts again, but a group of students took over all of the courts. That being said, we made our way over to the pool parking lot.
The PAX performed a Plank Walk / Double Shot of Jackees across the lot.

Plank Walk across the lot and at each line do a “double shot of jackees.” A double shot of jackees is a burpee variation where after the merkin, perform a plank jack (first shot) and after recovery, instead of just jumping, perform a jumping jack.


HIIT the Hills

10 jumping jacks on the bottom 10 mountain climbers on the top (each leg one) before/after each uphill movement

This was the plan.

Hill Sprint x 4 bottom to top, mosey back
Hill Jump Squat x 4 bottom to top, mosey back
Hill Lunge x 4 bottom to top, mosey back
Hill Bear Crawl x 4 bottom to top, mosey back

Due to time constraints, we modified after the sprints and performed 1 of each remaining hill exercises. Some PAX started to repeat exercises 2-4.

6 MoM:

Chilly Jacks (low plank, jumping jack) x 40
Flutter Kicks x 50
Rosalita x 26 (ab exercise with legs perpendicular 90 degrees, open and shut


5 principles of F3

1. Lead in a rotating circle by your peers.
2. Free of charge.
3. Open to all men.
4. Held outdoors rain or shine.
5. Ends in a circle of trust.


Earlier this week my sister Stephanie posted this comment, “The body achieves what the mind believes.”

I know that we are a group of strong willed men, but I’m guessing that you’ve been in a position where your brain tricks you into believing that you can’t knock out any more reps, or you can’t run any faster, or you need rest. Many times, this is your mind telling you that you can’t do anymore. Yes, I’ve been in this position myself.

What we do next is what matters. When this voice creeps in, we need to block it out and “go beyond” what our mind has convinced us is the point failure. You need to push through this and knock out more reps, run faster, put of that rest. Your F3 brothers will be there to support you.

You will emerge as a stronger man and this will carry over into other aspects of your life.


Father in Heaven, we thank you for bringing this group of HIMs together this morning.

We pray for the health and well-being of F3 Wheaton, F3 Naperville and all of our brothers across the nation.

We pray that you will bring healing, peace and comfort to all of those dealing with difficult situations.

Including prayers for Bump’s health.
Give Jordan the strength to overcome her eating disorder.
We pray for Anna Caroline’s health.
We pray for Kenny Roger’s friend Cindy Kerr who passed away from cancer last week.
We pray for Rusty’s brother-in-law Jeff.
My wife’s 93 year old grandmother who was released from the hospital and transferred to extended care until she regains her strength.
We pray for my former coworker, Steve, who passed away suddenly at the age of 57.
We pray for Blast’s best friend’s brother-in-law, Mike, who is battling blood cancer.
We pray for the continued growth of F3 Wheaton.

Guide us in being a better father, husband and friend.
In Jesus’s name we pray.


10 Strong HIMs – FNG Hurt Locker (Welcome!), FNG Glow Stick (Welcome!), Banks, Archive, Jazz Hands, Crunch, Mrs. Doubtfire (Site Q, thank you!), Urkel, Blart and Parks & Rec (QIC)

The pics:

5.12.19 – Teacher Appreciation Day

May GoRuck challenge: Honoring Service

Week 1: Teacher Appreciation Workout

  • 1 Mile Ruck (15:00 – while googling distances)
  • 1 Min Air Squats
  • 2 Min Plank
  • 4 Push-ups
  • 8 Deadlifts
  • 16 Ruck Thrusters
  • 32 Ruck Swings
  • 64 Ruck Lunges
  • 128 Flutterkicks (32x 4-count)
  • 2 Mile Ruck (20 min, maintaining a slow jog / fast walk)

Weight: 30lbs

Workout Time: 47 min

1 Mile ruck time: 15 min

2 Mile ruck time: 22 min

With a cooler day than expected, YHC dusted off his jacket and rucked to the AO. Archive had texted in the middle of the night to warn of a sick-sacking, but the newly-minted Hurt Locker’s presence was still an open question, so a second back was rucked in, just in case. With the help of Banks’ “On the Go” link, the Perfect 1.0 Mile around the park was discovered, which combined with being solo for the first time in a while, put this PAX in a benchmarking mood. The warm-up mile was leisurely, but the 2-mile saw a steady power-walk/jog that sped up slightly on the second half for a 12/10 split.

COT: lifiting up the brothers (both new and old), that they would have courage, strength (mental and physical) and faithfulness to their families, work, and community. Prayer for the week ahead, that it would not catch me lying down on the job.

5.6.19 -Firefighter Appreciation Day

May GoRuck challenge: Honoring Service

Week 1: Firefighter Appreciation Workout

  • 150 STEP-UPS (75/LEG) ON A 12” BOX (WEAR RUCK)
  • 100M RUCK DRAG

Weight: 30lbs

Workout Time: 60 min

3 Mile ruck time: 42:50

Archive and Crunch posted in the confusingly sunny, dry, and warm (56 degrees) gloom at AO Mastodon and got down to business. After hitting the tennis courts for our 100m of PT, Archive had the good idea to mix it up and hit the streets instead of hamster-wheeling our 1mi loop around the park. Overall a good solid workout, but definitely feeling the longer ruck on the shoulders throughout the day. We’ll see what the other days have in store!

5.4.19 Embrace the Suck (part 2)

Men of Wheaton,

If you missed it (or the memory of the day’s events has been suppressed by your brain) here are some memory jogs for the crazy stuff that went down. Those Naperville Qs bring the heat!


(all video/pics credit to Leuben, thanks!) This first pic about captures my memory of how this all went down. I’m over there in the back taking a breather between Dora merkins while Blart (QIC) is rocking out on squats. He and Archive blasted through the Burpee / Merk / Squat Dora and then completed a PAX carry around the hill before any of us were even thinking through how to saddle up.

So, naturally, Blart did what any animal in his position would do: Go around again! This time carrying a different PAX. YHC back there, getting a breather and a free ride on the Blart-beast (foreground: our bold three-legged team, Banks, Moonlight, and Skynet: if you weren’t there, you missed Banks shouldering both teammates for the first leg)


So, I did get some leg work in, if JazzHands counts.IMG_2366.jpg

And here’s the view from the top. “It’s bigger than it looks” (@HeardAtF3)IMG_2364.jpg

It was a great beatdown and good to have the morale support of our Naperville brothers leading the charge. If they’re all like Blart, we’ve got our work cut out for us this month! We were one short of the Double Digit Midget this week with 9 PAX. We closed it out with a 6 strong coffeteria, and a good discussion about how much more there is to F3 than just fitness.

Looking forward to a great month of Saturdays, with Parks and Rec as QIC on 5/11. Don’t miss it!



5.2.19 — Because It’s Leg Day

Thursday, May 2

5 PAX: Banks, Crunch, FNG-Abacus, Moonlight, Wet Wipe

With Archive holding down the home-front, it fell to YHC to take up the Q mantle and hit the park. Thanks to all the rain, the west side of the park was more flooded than I have ever seen it, so we modified our standard loop to the nearest passable trail. Moonlight and Wet Wipe helped Banks and I show the ropes to their FNG (Abacus). He held up well, or maybe we just weren’t hard enough on him. Time will tell…

Warm-o-Rama / The Standard:

  • Motivators IC x7
  • Tin Soldiers IC x20
  • Imperial Walkers IC x20

Thang #1: The Runs

  • run the Archive-mile, breaking at various points to do the following exercises:
    • Bolt 60s (like the 45, but more)
    • Dan Taylor (Squats/Lunges – 1:4, 2:8, 3:12, … , 8:32)
    • Colonel Trautmans x5 (three-legged partner exercise, AMRAP merkins / pull-ups x3 / people’s chair)

Thang #2: Fun with Coupons!

  • Mini-Spartan – (Coupon Hill Run + 10 Merkin at the top) x5
  • Insane Bolt 45s (with coupons!)


  • LBC IC x30


Prayers for the brothers — Lifting up homes / basements / yards; prayers for people to be high and dry through this week and next weeks’ monsoons. — Gratitude for new HIMs (and those Naperville guys) hitting our AO and the future that they can represent.

Might have a Rucking Problem…

Congrats to Archive and Crunch on completing the “Lucky Number 7” April 2019 #ruckingchallenge! Below is a wall of text illuminating some of the thought process that goes into someone become unstable enough to want to do this on the regular. If you’re like me, come find us for whatever May’s challenge is! Monday is RUCK DAY. #EmbraceTheSuck!

— Ruckaholics Anonymous Helpline — 

Hello, Yes. I’m calling because, well, I might have a problem … Yes, sorry, Captain Crunch. … Yes, that is my “real” name… No, it’s not on my birth certificate.

Well I started this #RuckingChallenge thing for the Month of April. I’d seen a couple go by and was sad I hadn’t jumped on it. And this one was only 7 days, so I figured I could do it even with April already being half over. With these guys I workout with on Thursdays and Saturdays I’m the “crazy guy who rucks on Mondays” so I gotta keep my cred up. It can’t all be Burpee Mile / Merkin Mile, rinse/repeat.

Day 1 + Day 2:

  • Ruck 1 Mile + 10 sets (10 Ruck Squats / 10 Ruck Push-ups / 10 Russian Twists)
  • 5 sets (10 Walking Ruck Lunges / 10 Plank Pull Throughs / 10 Overhead Press / 200m Ruck (AFAP))

So, I upped the weight from 25 to 30, despite having never done any of these other challenges, and I wanted to make up for the missing the first half of April… so I did both Day 1 and Day 2 together. … Yeah, that seemed like a normal enough thing to do. … Well see I normally ruck for 45 min and Day 1 was like a 25-30 min workout. I’d been planning on doing both days, I had gone to the track specifically because of Day 2’s 200m sprints, but I was pretty wiped. So I figured I’ve got some time, I’ll just try Day 2 to see how bad it feels. The first set went okay, so I tried another. Then it was close to quitting time, but I was already 2/5 of the way done. I didn’t really want to reset that and need to come back the next day. It was only three more. It was so easy to keep going knowing I was already almost half way in. So I ended up staying a bit longer than I meant to, but I could just get ready for work a bit quicker. I got both done! It went pretty well, I felt pretty prepared for it. Pretty wiped afterwards. … … Okay yeah, I guess it’d be smart to dial it back some and maybe just do a day at a time. … Sure, thanks. … Yeah, I’ll check in again after Day 3.

Day 3 + Day 4:

  • Ruck 1 Mile + 10 sets (50m Suitcase Carry / 10 Ruck High Pulls / 25m Bear Crawl)
  • Ruck 1 Mile (14 min pace) + 10 sets (10 Thrusters / 25m Bear Crawl / 10 Ruck Swings)

Hi, this is Captain Crunch checking in again… So… I went out for Day 3 + Day 4 with a buddy of mine. Better to have company on the road, right? … Huh? oh yeah… we did say just one day at time … Yeah, I think I can remember that next time. So we did Day 3 on some soggy tennis courts because that gave us the proper distance markers. Most of it wasn’t so bad. We do a lot of bear crawls in our normal workouts, so what’s adding another 30lbs resting on the back of your head, right? … No we don’t normally do 250m of them, I guess … So, I guess I should probably mention, too, that I noticed a blood blister on my right hand after Day 3’s bear crawls, but we were already right there and planning on doing both days, so… I went ahead and did Day 4’s bear crawls… Yeah another 250m. … Is that weird? … Uh huh … yeah, I guess so. I figured it would heal up okay, and it went away later that day, so no harm done? … Okay yeah … My buddy and I did agree to stick to one day at a time for the rest of it, though. We were both pretty gassed.

Day 5:

  • Ruck 1 Mile + 10 sets (10 Russian Twists / 10 Pushups / 10 Overhead Squats)

Hi, this is Crunch, checking in again after Day 5. This day felt a bit more moderate. I can see the point of just doing one day at a time. Still plenty of work. My buddy and I got through the whole set and figured we had time enough to hit Day 6 somewhere else in the week and wait until the next Monday to do Day 7. … That’s good progress right? “Just dial it back a bit”, right?

Day 6:

  • Ruck 1 Mile + 10 sets (100m suitcase carry / 10 Ruck Squats / 10 Ruck Swing)

Crunch again, checking in from Day 6. … Okay so this was a solo workout, and it felt a bit weird. So, I took the day off, mostly to get some things done around the house, but I had a spare window after lunch and just figured I should fill it productively, so I went out and rucked Day 6. I always workout in the morning while the sun is getting up, so it was really weird to be out in the full sunlight. I think I prefer the Gloom. It feels right. Anyway this one was probably my least favorite, but not the hardest, I don’t think. That 100m carry was long, even with jogging it. … well, yeah I didn’t want to take it too easy, so I jogged it. … it made sense at the time, but yeah I guess it would be easier if I slowed down. Easy isn’t really the point, though. … But yes, just one. I told my buddy I would wait for Monday for Day 7…

Day 7:

  • Ruck 1 Mile + 10 sets (10 Dead Lifts / 10 Walking Lunges / 10 Ruck Push-ups)

Hey! Crunch again. Challenge Complete! We wrapped up the last day in the pouring rain and I was just walking in the door as the thunder was close enough to shut us down anyway. It felt good to be out there in the rain. It wasn’t going to be comfy anyway, might as well bring it on, right? … Yeah, I’m glad I did it. … I think I might dial the weight down a bit for the next challenge, depends what it is. … Yeah. … Yeah, I was already planning on doing the next one, but they haven’t said what it is yet. … Yeah, I figured I’ve got a whole 48 hours off before May 1st… Sure, yeah, I can keep checking in, if you think that’d be necessary…


4.25.19 – Noodle Arms and the Millennial Murph

Thursday was a comfortable 45 degrees with no wind, and 4 PAX gathered for their week-day beatdown. It was good to see Chelms, AO Mastodon’s launch Q with his monthly drop-in on the neighborhood. This Q was planning to ditch warm-ups entirely but we stretched out and hit some Tin Soldiers while Archive drove up, before heading around the park. More cardio than normal definitely kept it a quieter day, mumblechatter was almost non-existent. Maybe our humble Q is the main guilty party there…

  • Tin Soldiers IC x20

Thang #1: The Millennial Murph

Standard Murph, but each exercise is Millennial-style, so first PAX done calls the switch to the next exercise.

  • 1 mile
  • 20 sets (5 pull-ups, 10 merkins, 15 squats) – blitzed through these in 11 min
  • 1 mile (scout run)

Thang #2: Burp Back Mountain:

  • Partner Exercise: 100 Burpees, take turns running the hill


  • Hurricane Hoedown
    • Seated Flutterkick x7
    • Reclined Flutterkick x7
    • Normal Flutterkick x7
    • LBC Flutterkick x7
  • Ol’ Ironsides
    • Boat / Canoe
    • American Hammer IC x10
    • Boat / Canoe
    • American Hammer IC x10


Prayers for the brothers — Prayers for a finishing strong as we look to end the school year — prayer for Archive’s hiring process — traveling mercies and strength of purpose for Banks and Chelms — gratitude for a beautiful morning of building up and beating down.