Some skeptics may say that the difficulty with ancient history is to know when history becomes myth, and myth becomes lore, and lore becomes lies. But fiction often contains more truth then non-fiction, and it can be more instructive & entertaining. That is why I am so tardy on this backblast. As we may all be a bit hazy on some of the finer details of what actually occurred so long ago on that November day, this presents and opportunity for legends to be born. 

It was a dreary spring morning around the year of 1994. It was one of those early spring mornings when the snow has just melted and the earth is caked with mud and the grass has not yet had time to heal from the winter thaw, and the leaves are not quite budding. As I, a young boy, looked out the window of my home, across the street a grave digger was digging a new plot. There, with him, was the cadaver. The grave digger was crying, he had known the deceased intimately. I lowered my eyes. I wish I could say this was the first time I had witnessed this scene, but it had occurred all too frequently. The grave digger, a boy a year older than myself, housed gerbils. He was good to his gerbils, but naturally being captive, they would die. Each death impacted my neighbor friend Tony. And so, there he was on Pershing Ave, digging a fresh grave in his front yard on a Saturday morning, while most children were watching cartoons.

I recently reached out to Tony to try and catch up with him after all these years. I believe he still lives in the area. We played phone tag. That is to say, he did not return my calls. The last time we played together, to my recollection, involved ending in me calling him some mean names and throwing some things at him, intending to hurt him. But that’s what you get when you cheat in monopoly.  It would be wonderful to catch up with him again,he is a great guy and I think he would really like F3. 

I would like to say a special thanks to the following people who came out and supported Magic. to; Saga, Beaker, Panhandle, T-bone, Tortuga, Katniss, Shiplap, Captain Crunch, and Noodles. To all pax who were not present; sadly you may be a part of the problem and perhaps have no affinity for gerbils.

MAGIC: Men Against Gerbils in Cages. If you are part of the local populace and reading this online, just know that this was all a joke and is not meant to offend or arouse anger.

On the cool damp morning of November the 15th, the above 9 paxs and myself held the annual Meeting of Magic, with the intent of it being an awareness campaign as well. At 5:30am there were no TV helicopters flying overhead, there were no paparazzi, and there were no crowds. This was our first annual meeting and we had assumed the going would be tough at the outset, and therefore we did not hope for much fanfare. It takes time to build traction. As Katniss said, our mantra is we believe the cause is so strong it speaks for itself. 

To feel the plight of the gerbil there were three stations, after a gerbil honoring warmup: 

Warmup: 

Warm Up: 

• Gerbil Poopers: X25 
• Gerbil Wall Stretch – 30 seconds
• Gerbil thinks he is getting out of his cage stretch otherwise called goofballs x20 
• Gerbil Glute Bridge X10 

Thang: 

“The Wheel” (1 round performed on the stairs jogging down in between sets

• Jog up
• Sprint up
• Left leg hop up
• Jog Up 
• Spring up
• Right leg Hop up
• Jog Up 
• Spring up 
• Broad Jump Up 

“The Cage” (You and partner perform following together)

• 20 suicides (going out to 20 yd line) 
• Push up claps 100 
• Jump Squats 200 
• Gas pumps 300 

“The SawDust Pit” 

• Gerbil Dig- The Inch Worm 20 yards 
• Gerbil Dig in place -maybe they are stuck on the wall…Suicide Bombers STOP and DO 5. 
• Gerbil Crawl- Bear Crawl 70 yards 
• Gerbil Dig in place -maybe they are stuck on the wall…Suicide Bombers STOP and DO 5. 
• Gerbil- Prisoner Crawl….Don’t feel like this is dehumanizing. 10 yards. 

The final exercise, the prisoner crawls, brought me much joy. Yes there can be joy in the midst of sorrow. As I looked around to my left and right and saw Beaker and Saga with agonizing looks on their faces as they crawled through the grass with their hands behind their backs and foreheads in the dirt, I knew they were imagining how the gerbils must feel, and taking on the gerbil’s sorrows. Mission Complete. 

Endnote: I believe this was the last Q on the Glenbard West football field. Shortly following this, we found the field to be barricaded off. 

A fine, if breezy morning was had by 10 PAX on a Ruck Monday.Warm-O-Rama:
Goofballs (with @SAGA trying out some running Goofballs sure to make a reappearance)
Arm Circles
10x Merkins OYO

Thang:
Ruck/Shuffle around AO
10 trips up/down Hoffa with 20–>2 squats at the bottom and 2–>20 merkins at the top
Short Ruck around pond

CoT:
Students heading back to class and those students stuck on campus b/c they can’t get home
@Archive heading back to workPAX: Panhandle (Q), SAGA, DaVinci, Olaf, Archive, TBTF, Big Mac, Cookies, Tortuga (respect), Sparrow 

8 PAX posted on this frosty morning to experience the fun of learning their ABC’s, F3 style. There was a bit of concern from the Q that we wouldn’t be able to get through all 26 “letters” in time, but the PAX managed to complete every one.

Warm-O-Rama:
Goofballs IC – 20
Abe Vigodas IC – 15
Bat Wings IC – forward arm circles, backward arm circles, seal claps, OH claps 10ea.
Michael Phelps OYO while the Q describes the “thang”

PAX mosey to the base of Hoffa with coupons

The Thang:
1. Alligator Merkins across the base of Hoffa
2. Broad Jump Burpees back to coupons
3. Colt 45 – coupon curls 15 reps each: lower half, upper half, full
4. Derkins – 25
5. El Capitán – Deep lunges up Hoffa, touching hands to ground
6. Foxholes at top of Hoffa – 20 – sit up, roll to merkins, flapjack, mosey back down
7. Grave diggers – coupon between legs, lift up to shoulder, back to btw legs, flapjack, repeato 20 reps
8. Hand-release merkins – 20
9. Inch-worm bear crawl across the base of Hoffa
10. Jackhammers – jump squats back to coupons
11. Knerkins – Chuck Norris merkins – 20
12. LBCs – 50
13. Murder Bunnies across the base of Hoffa
14. No Surrenders – 25
15. Outlaws – leg circles – 10 each direction
16. Plank Jacks IC – 20
17. Quiet – child’s pose 30 sec.
18. Ranger Merkins – 20
19. Star Jumps – 20
20. Thrusters – 20
21. Upright Rows – 20
22. V-Up Roll Ups – 20
23. Windshield Wipers – 20
24. X-Cross Sit Ups – 20
25. Yul Brynners – Carolina Dry Dock, Wide Merkin, Merkin, Ranger Merkin, Diamond Merkin, Crucible Merkin, Knerkins – 5 reps
26. Zombie Crawl up Hoffa

NoR: SAGA, Da Vinci, Tortuga (respect), Crash (hate), Archive, TBTF, K-Pop (hate), Crack (Q)

COT: prayers for Crash and K-Pop finishing their semester, Archive going back to work, Hope4theOrphan, and that we would be able to stay focused on the true meaning of the Advent season 

PAX – 10 PAX in attendance – Tortuga, TBTF, DBC, Beaker, HotBox, Jolly, T-Bone, Crack, SAGA, Crash

X

WoR – SSH (x15 IC), Abe Vigota (x10 IC), Imperial Walkers (x10 IC), MMPoopers (x10 IC), Slow Merkin (x10 IC)XMoseyed to the base of ‘Hoffa where the beatdown commenced

X

Thang 1 –

• Coupon Circuit x2 – 15 Block-pees, 20 Goblet Squats, 25 Coupon Curls, 30 Shoulder Press, 100 SSH, sprint hill/touch fence, mosey back, Merkin for the six
• Turkey Leg burner circuit x1 – 15 Burpees (no coupon), 15 Star Jumps, 25 BW Squats, Lunge up hill, 100 SSH at top of hill, mosey down, Merkin for the six

Thang 2 –

• Turkey Trot – mosey to the pool house and back to the path on the opposite side of the field in front of Hoffa
• Turkey Hunt (named after the beatdown)- Goal was to sprint across the field and up ‘Hoffa. Tortuga was volunteered to be the “hunter” and the remaining PAX were the “hunted – or the turkeys to stick with the theme”. The remaining PAX got a 3 second headstart. After 3 seconds Tortuga sprinted the field/Hoffa. Anyone he was able to pass did 5 burpees. All PAX met at the top of ‘Hoffa.

We then moseyed to flag

X

CoT – health and safety during the holiday season. I may have forgotten a few requests but as Gummi Bear once said…God is all knowing and he heard you 🙂

WEDNESDAY 11.25.20 PCP @AO TARPIT

6 hardy Pax showed up today expecting cold and rain, but were surprised with a “dry” and balmy 45 degree morning.

WOR

Arm Circles

Michael Phelps

Arm Windmills

Tappy taps

Hamstring Stretch

The Thing:

PCP = Partner Coupon Party

A Murph Variant – teams of 2 complete a full Murph with some notable substitutions

Each Round = both run 1 lap, combine for 25 blockees, 50 derkins and 75 goblet squats

4 Rounds = 2 total miles, 100 blockees, 200 derkins, 300 goblet squats as a team

Most if not all groups finished by 6:10 and some got in a cool down lap and some extra planks

Wrapped it up with a 3 minute Mary EMOM – high plank, flutter kicks and side crunches

NOR:  Gummi Bear, Cap’n Crunch, DaVinci, Tortuga, Panhandle and T-bone (Q)

COT:  Prayed for the Orphans in Zimbabwe – specifically a 15 yo girl named Ayanda who is a good student and is in a loving home with her Grandmother.  Praise for Tortuga’s M testing negative for COVID.  Prayers for TG travel and the stress of an unusual holiday season.

Twelve hardened PAX woke this morning to a blanket of fresh snow, but braved the gloom anyway. Panhandle, Beaker, Big Mac, Shiplap, Hotbox, T-bone, Jolly, Da Vinci, Banks, Gummi Bear, Katniss and one new F-N-G (later dubbed Olaf) arrived at AO Mastodon as snow continued to fall. The beauty of our AO was on full display.

Banks proceeded to test the snow quality and proclaimed it ideal for snowball making, then launched several at Shiplap’s vehicle as he dared to step out. Together we welcomed our F-N-G, recited the disclaimer and prepared to warm-o-rama.

WOR: 7X Motivators + 10 Tappy Taps + 10 Goofballs (all IC)

The Thang: Frenemy Relay

After all moseyed to position just East of the roundabout, Q intro’d the morning’s workout: “Pick a partner of equal strength, speed and stamina. Choose carefully – try to find the man who is your near perfect equal. If you choose correctly, you’ll be rewarded later.”

You and your partner are both friends and enemies – aka FRENEMIES – today:

• You are enemies because: Each round you’ll face off against your partner in a race to finish the assigned exercise.
• You are friends because: At the end of the entire workout we’ll crown a “most balanced 2-man team” (i.e. the team with the most “split rounds” where neither partner was dominant)

*The group partnered up (2×6), then half the partnerships moved into adjacent parking lot for social distance*

Each round…
One partner will complete a high rep count of an exercise, while the other partner does a mix of cardio and lower reps. The partner who finishes first wins. Then you’ll switch and repeat. 
That set (i.e. 2 cycles) = a single round.  

Round 1:
Partner A: Does 50 burpees
Partner B: Runs to poolhouse, does 12 burpees, and runs back
-Flip and repeat-

Round 2:
Partner A: Does 100 Merkins
Partner B: Runs to poolhouse, does 25 Merkins, and runs back
-Flip and repeat-

Round 3:
Partner A: Does 50 coupon kettle bell swings
Partner B: Does 20 Murder Bunnies out (away from partner) and back (return to partner)
-Flip and repeat-

Round 4:
Partner A: Does 50 Hodors w/ coupon
Partner B: Runs to poolhouse, does 20 squats, and runs back
-Flip and repeat-

Round 5:
Partner A: Does 100 Big Boy Situps
Partner B: Runs to poolhouse, does 25 Big Boy Situps, and runs back
-Flip and repeat-

Round 6:
Partner A: Does 100 Overhead press w/ coupon
Partner B: Runs to poolhouse, does 100 “Raise the roof”, and runs back
-Flip and repeat-

Big Mac and (T-bone?) were dubbed “Most Balanced Duo” as the only group who didn’t have a single partner dominate at least one of the exercise rounds above. Congrats – you win another imaginary coffee from Katniss.

COT: After mosey back to parking lot we circled up, named our F-N-G (Welcome Olaf) and prayed for health of all those directly (and indirectly re: nursing home patients struggling with isolation) dealing with COVID. Safety for all those gathering for Thanksgiving this week.

Moleskin: Praise for a beautiful morning at the AO. The falling snow throughout the workout, the quiet of the early morning AO, and the fellowship of 12 great men made for a picturesque memory this Q won’t soon forget.

DBC, Saga, Big Mac, Capn’ Crunch, Archive, Panhandle, TBTF and Da Vinci (Q) showed up for morning ruck club. Gummi Bear, after a solemn HC, was no where to be found. He didn’t even ghost us. Do we matter to him? Does he matter to himself? We laid these questions aside and proceeded with the workout with bruised hearts – bruised by neglect. This callout was uncalled for – Gummi Bear withdrew his HC!

Warm up: Danger Zone! (Side straddle hops during Kenny Loggin’s Danger Zone with squats during the words Danger Zone and merkens during the guitar solo). Batwings.

During stretch the Desert Fathers returned (we’re half way through the Apophthegmata Patrum (using this version).

Isaiah 1: “Abbe Isaiah said, “nothing benefits a beginner as much as an insult. A beginner who is insulted like that and tolerates it is like a tree that is watered each day.:

Theodore of Pherme 13: “There is no virtue like not belittling.”

We contemplated the delicate art of landing jovial insults that don’t actually belittle (as attempted toward Gummi Bear above).

The Thang: Inspired by Banks we did went around the park as follows: RUCK for 3 lights, MOZY for 3 lights, SPRINT for 3 lights (repeat until Hoffa).

At the hill we created the Ladder of Divine Ascent icon: Groups of 2. 1 PAX did a 10 count descending Welsh dragon with ruck (see the PAX-consuming creature in the icon). The other PAX did 10 count descending Jacob’s Ladder (run up hill for 10 merkens, run up for 9, etc.). When the dragons are complete the partners switch.

QUOTE from Pilgrim’s Progress: “So I saw in my dream, that just as Christian came up to the cross, his burden loosed from off his shoulders, and fell from off his back, and began to tumble; and so continued to do till it came to the mouth of the sepulchre, where it fell in, and I saw it no more.”

So inspired we removed our rucks, and proceeded with 5 count descending Welsh Dragons and Jacob’s Ladder.

Merken Mountain up the hill (with 5 bear crawls between).

At the top, a reminder than even in the famous icon upon which this workout is based, Jesus Christ Conquers is written on the back, and the ladder itself symbolizes the 30 years of the life of Christ, meaning our effort is paradoxically not our own effort. “Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing and even on the Mountain, nothing.” -St. John of the Cross, Ascent of Mount Carmel

COT: Prayers for Archive’s parents hoping to see their grandchild, Noodle’s father’s funeral, Capn’ for harmony at work.

Chaser: Theodore of Enaton 3: “If God were to lay to account our lack of attention in prayers and our distractions in Psalm singing, we could not be saved.” The desert fathers struggled in prayer, and so will we.

It was another beautiful morning at AO Tarpit and very quiet at 5:30am on a Saturday! YHC had been out for the last 2 weeks quarantining, so it was time to get back into action in a big way! 9 faithful PAX (Shiplap, Captain Crunch, Saga, Davinci, Big Mac, Beaker, Katniss, Hotbox, Banks) came out for the early morning beatdown.

Warm-O-Rama:

• 7x Motivators
• 15x Windmills IC
• 15x Mountain Man Poopers IC
• 10x Merkins IC
• Slow Jog around the track mapping out the day’s activities

The Thang: Intervals

The purpose of interval training is to spike your heart rate and then actively recover. All of the exercises and focus for the day was to continually spike the heart rate, but also provide time to recover and bring it down.

We broke the track into 4 sections consisting of about 50m walking, 150m jogging, 100m fast paced run, and 100m sprint. The goal was to go around the track and give it everything you had in the sprint, and then recover with the walk. We completed 4 laps around the track using the intervals outlined above.

Next we did some EMOM (Every Minute on the Minute) Intervals. 5 rounds of 10x burpees and 5x Star Jumps.

We then completed 4 more interval laps followed by 5 more rounds of EMOM consisting of 10x Squats, 10x Merkins, 5x BBS.

We finished off the thang with 4 more interval laps for a total of 12 interval laps or 3mi.

Mary:

• 20x LBC IC
• 20x Oblique LBC IC on each side

COR/NOR/COT:

Prayers for everyone as we descend into another lockdown and we ask that everyone stay strong through the holidays, prayers for Captain Crunches family as they celebrate Thanksgiving and Birthdays without being able to be with family.

Moleskin:

Being forced to stay away from this group for 2 weeks while quarantining definitely sucked. It was hard to stay motivated in everyday life without getting up and accomplishing something hard first thing in the morning. It definitely reinforced how impactful this group truly is and how glad I am to be able to be a part of it!

I was a surprisingly mild morning at AO Mastodon as 13 PAX posted for what I felt was an unconventional Beatdown for you QIC. I was excited to do something different and thankful Tortuga was my second in command to ensure proper social distancing.

NOR: Tortuga, Saga, T-Bone, Hotbox, Panhandle, Zelda, Katniss, Captain Crunch, BigMac, Shiplap (Q), Crack, Jolly, Beaker

COT: praise for a beautiful day, faithful PAX and the blessings of 2020. We prayed for Crack and his family as they travel to his 2.0s equestrian competition.

Today was my first Q at AO Tarpit. I had to spend some time looking over the Exicon to come up with something appropriate for the day. 8 PAX made the commitment. Today’s workout was definitely different for me. Coupons Not Needed but hopefully still delivered on a good beatdown.

WoR: Malasala Yoga Pose, Butterfly Yoga Pose, Tappy Taps, R Leg Stretch, L Leg Stretch, Center Stretch

What better way to break in my first Q at AO Tarpit than with a mosey around.

Thang 1 – 1st & 10

100 yard field marked at 10 yard increments. Perform 10 Merkins, 1 Burpee (11’s) at the 10, sprint the remaining 90 yards. Recover mosey back to the 20. Perform 9 Merkins, 2 Burpees, sprint the remaining 80 yards, recover mosey to the 30. Repeat until all 100 yards and 11’s have been completed. Plank/core exercise until remaining PAX complete.

Thang #2 – Deconstructed Burpees

Burpees broken down into pieces. Squats, Leg thrusts, Merkins, Leg thrusts, then Up. Four rounds. Each round consisting of the following:

10 Squats, 10 Leg thrusts, 10 Merkins, 10 Leg thrusts. In this case, the Up consisted of an AYG sprint up our AO ramp, “Hilltopper”.

CoR: SAGA, Big Mac, T-bone, Tortuga, Wet Burrito, Shiplap, Da Vinci, Noodles (QIC).

CoT: Praise for Big Mac’s recovery from his fall. Prayers for all the orphans in Zimbabwe and around the world, that God continue to provide. Prayers for Wet Burrito and the stress of having one of his employee part ways, may God continue to reveal his plan and what he has in store for Wet Burrito. Prayers for our schools and their leadership as they are faced with difficult decisions in the foreseeable future, that they make decisions for the best interest of all parties: students, parents, schools.