YHC showed up to Tar Pit at the normal 5:15 in preparation for a beatdown to remember. In all honesty, I was a little nervous for the workout myself. I have been reminiscing about my 17 years playing football and 10 years coaching and wanted to deliver a beatdown that reminded me of the workout I never thought I would miss.
WOR: SSH x 20, Picking Daiseys – Middle, Right, Left, Right Quad, Left Quad, Right Tricep, Left Tricep, Michael Phelps – all while listing to song #1
The Thang – Partner #1 completed the exercise while partner #2 ran the ramp of the gerbil wheel. After the partner running got back the pair swapped. They would do this until a song ended. Once the next song started they began a new exercise. Reps were not counted, and based on the mumble chatter this was welcoming
We finished the workout right on time and ran 29-30 hills. It was nice to see the PAX challenge each other and sprint 80% of the hills. We all got better pushing each other
6MOM: Bicycles IC – the Q switched up the tempo to keep the PAX honest
10 PAX (plus one four-legged companion) posted on a clear, crisp morning for Run Club.
Warm-o-Rama: Stretch OYO while the last few PAX arrived. Jog south along Carlton towards Childs St.
Thang: Childs St. Hill – PAX separated into several groups running at different paces. We ran west along Childs to Woodlawn, then turned around and went back up the hill to Carlton. While not steep, the hill provided a good workout. YHC took the lead (surprisingly) and the group completed 5 laps. Total mileage ~ 4.5mi
WOR: Abe Vigoda, Michael Phelps, Goof Balls, and tappy taps.
Thang 1
Bataan Death March around the big loop. The snow was frozen and so we decided to take a detour on the road. The detour was longer then expect however. No one died even though it was close a couple times.
Thang 2
At the Base of Hoffa. 50 squats, run up Hoffa, 100 LBCs, 50 Merkins, run up Hoffa, 100 Flutter-kicks, 50 lunges, run up Hoffa, 100 American Hammers, and repeat. we ran out of time after about 1.5 loops.
COT:
Prayers for Push ups and memorizations this month. Prayer for Dan and that we can all be content and grateful. Prayer for Brain who got hit by a car. Prayer for Bloomer and his family. Prayer for SAGA’s M.
Each grade consists of an exercise and a question aimed at students of that grade level. Graduation from each grade to the next requires running down and back up the wheel.
Kindergarten: Little Baby Crunches (50) (How many PAX are in attendance?)
1st Grade: Hodors (20) (Laura has 7 cupcakes. Jeremy eats 2. How many does Laura have left? 5; What does Jeremy have? A black eye.)
2nd Grade: skull crushers (25) (Which is not a state of matter? Solid, Color, Liquid, Gas)
3rd Grade: Star Jumps (30) What is the name for someone who studies dinosaurs? (Paleontologist)
4th Grade: Blockbees (11) 44 divided by 4
5th Grade: Bonnie Blairs (27) 5 and 2/5 into an improper fraction.
6th Grade: Wall climbers (6) Give number and symbol for Carbon (6, C)
7th Grade: Coupon swings (20) Obnoxious is to pleasant as radiant is to: (dull, bright, loud, quiet, soft)
8th Grade: Coupon curls (70) 4x-10=18, what is x? (7)
9th Grade: Big Boy Situps (90) What’s the formula for area of a circle? (pi)r^2
10th Grade: Merkins (100) What gas is needed for photosynthesis (Carbon Dioxide)
11th Grade: Air Squats (110) What is the belief that the US has the right to occupy all of America? (Manifest Destiny)
12th Grade: Flutter Kicks (120) SAT Vocab: What is an antonym for enervating (feeling energized, like after an F3 workout or after finishing all of school in 45 minutes)
Graduation Ceremony: Your coupon is your diploma, hold it high (rifle carry) and walk back to the parking lot.
Moleskin: Unlike Billy, you’re likely not a drunk who may fail to inherit his father’s business, but like Billy, working towards a clear objective in a community is pretty helpful. Thanks to F3 for helping me do better during COVID along several dimensions.
CoT; Prayer: Energy, focus, perseverance, Bloomer’s son, Jazz Hand’s friend
Knowing that it has been cold lately and there is a LOT of snow and ice on the ground that will be in various states of melting due to the warmer temperatures, the challenge was to create a workout that left the PAX warm and not too wet for coffeeteria. It turns out that the snow was not melty, but instead was packed down firmly with a nice crust on top.
YHC has always been a fan of the Dora, but the Exicon came up short while planning this workout so a new Dora was born, the SUPERDORA. Answering the new challenge were many of the stalwart HIMs: Big Mac, Bloomer, Cookies, Da Vinci, Hotbox, Jolly, Katniss, Panhandle, Saga, Shiplap, TBTF, T-bone (first RESPECT workout!), Tortuga.
Warmorama was a simple classic to get the blood pumping: motivators, goofballs, and a quick lap of high knees around the parking lot while the Q explained the beatdown.
Queue the SuperDora:
Instead of pairs, the entire PAX was challenged to complete exercise reps with interspersed bursts of cardio. (up to 4 exercises between cardio, the PAX chose various strategies)
Cardio options were: run up or down Hoffa, Run to the cooties/SHOP or back (convenient if targeting one of the exercises that are executed there), 15 Burpees, 25 Star Jumps, 30 Mountain climbers
Exercise rep targets were determined by number of PAX to show. The Q failed at math and targeted about 2000 reps per PAX to spread around. It should have been half of that. The board was prepared with 72 marks per exercise group, each mark originally representing 75 reps which the Q revised to 60 reps, it really should have been 30 reps per mark.
There was a bit of confusion at the beginning, but the PAX quickly figured out their strategies and started their exercises. After a few minutes YHC noticed it was rather quiet, the grunts of hard work and an odd picnic table being dropped were about all that broke the silence. Thankfully Shiplap had already taken matters into his own hands and came back from his rifle carry to the car with Jock Jams pulsing, this clearly invigorated the PAX and they picked up the pace.
Nonetheless, the absurd number of reps planned were not coming off of the board fast enough and ⅔ of the way through the beatdown the Q called “double credit” and each set of 60 reps took 2 marks from the board. Alas, it was too little, too late and we ran out of time with quite a few marks on the board. At least we didn’t run out of exercises before the end of our time.
Was the weather (3 degrees) too cold? Was the pre-blast too intense? We’ll never know why only 4 PAX showed at #AO-Tarpit for the promised 5:30am Saturday Inferno, but alas – only Gummi Bear, Tortuga, Shiplap and Katniss (Q) were brave enough.
YHC began the beatdown with a prologue – an introduction to this Q which was inspired by a college Lit course on Epics (aka really long books that follow the “Hero’s Journey” story arc). This morning we’d be sampling the first book in the Divine Comedy: Dante’s Inferno. In Inferno, Dante and poet Virgil take a guided tour through the 9 layers of H-E-double hockey sticks. Q promised that, true to the text, each layer of our guided beatdown would be progressively more punishing. Starting positions…move:
Ring 1: Limbo. Here are those not vile enough for the lower levels of the inferno. These souls wander aimlessly alone in the caves of limbo.
Exercise: Warm-o-rama 7X motivators 25 Wandering goofballs IC (move counter clockwise in rotating circle while doing goofballs) John Cusack w/ Coupons to base of tarpit steps
Ring 2: Here the lustful are thrown in a violent circle by a windstorm without rest.
Exercise: Three sprints up the steps, run back down the slope. You must bearcrawl in between.
Ring 3: The gluttons wallow in a freezing, putrid slush by themselves.
Exercise: 75 Big Boy Situps in the snow
Ring 4: The wasteful and hoarders spend eternity pushing heavy weights at one another.
Exercise: Partner up. Stand equidistant apart. 10 blockbeees, 5 lunges until one of you meets the center first. The loser must farmer carry his opponents block back to his start for him. Did three rounds subbing blockbees with thrusters and Hodors.
Ring 5: The wrathful fight each other on the river sticks for eternity
Exercise: Partner up and stand on opposite sides of the heated incline driveway. Bear crawl race your partner up the hill. The first to complete 75 hand release merkins at the top wins.
Ring 6: The Heretics are trapped in flaming tombs.
Exercise: 100 coupon press, 50 flutters, then we drop down to the 7th circle. *Jon Cusack back down* Leaving 3 stations with coupons
Ring 7: There are many layers here – but a particularly troubling layer involves war-makers and plunderers who wallow in boiling blood. Should any of them crawl high enough out of the blood, they’re shot back down with arrows.
Exercise: Suicides up the heated incline driveway. 3 stations. Burpees at bottom until your turn, burpees at top until all finish.
Ring 8: Fraudsters are thrown into a pit of darkness where they’re endlessly abused.
Exercise: Drill instructors Standing (“On your feet!”), Holding 6″ (“On your six!”), High plank (“On your face!”) Merkins (“Down/Up”).
Ring 9: Escape the inferno. Emerge on the other side of earth to a starry night.
Exercise: Jon Cusack from the top landing back down to the parking lot. If you must stop to rest, you owe 5 Blockbees before you may begin again.
COT: Prayers for Gummi’s former co-worker Deedee who’s been shouldering the burden of sick husband and son. Lift up all of our PAX who are out with injuries. Praise for the motivation and excellence F3 brings to other non-fitness parts of our lives.
Stay tuned for more Epic-themed workouts from YHC! This was only the beginning.
The workout today is called “Affirm it.” As we work out today we are going to be passing each other and performing various exercises. Sometimes when life gets tough and especially when you get tired, we can easily start to turn inward and focus on our self, our pains, our hurts, our feelings. When we do that we natural stop looking outward at others and will natural encourage each other less. Some of us are wired to encourage and affirm, while others of us struggle to affirm. So lets flex our affirmation muscles today. I want to hear you talk to one another. I want to hear men encouraging men. When you get tired and are in pain, look around encourage someone.
Romans 15:5 says, “May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had.”
Break up into two groups at either end of the parking lot. East workout location: Perform 5 Blockees (Burpee + Coupon) Running between East and West workout locations PAX must carry coupon in a different way than before (i.e. Rifle, farmers carry, on shoulder, at waist level) West workout location:
20 Block Dips and 20 Coupon Swings
20 Block Curls and 20 Coupon Squats
20 Calf Raises and 20 Overhead Coupon Presses
20 Merkins on Coupon and 20 Mountain Climbers
20 Imperial walkers in the snow– hands on head, squat to knees and back up and 20 big boy sit ups If you complete the 5 rounds of 40 reps then start over and complete 10 reps for each exercise
Ended with 4 minutes of Mary – Partner up. One PAX performs American hammer while the other PAX does lifts legs 8 inches off the ground. When one person needs a break they say, “I need you.”
MOLESKIN You just flexed your physical muscles and your encouragement muscles today. Put it into practice with those at work and with those in your home. Take up the challenge to affirm, put up and encourage your co-workers, your spouse, your friends, your kids. Say their name and name something particular to what you are observing.
10 Pax (including Kringle and Sunshine who stopped in from Geneva) showed up on a beautiful Saturday morning at AO Mastodon for a meet and greet with 19 celebrities of the Exicon!
WOR: Abe Vigoda, Michael Phelps, Matt Biondi, Daniel-Son, Joe Louis, LL Cool J
Celebrity Planks: Annie, Capt Morgan, Nolan Ryan, Travolta, Johnny Cash
Thang 3
Sheldon Cooper: 10 Pam Andersons, 10 Baryshnikov Squats, 10 Chuck Norris Merkins, 10 Bonnie Blairs. Lap around the parking lot. Repeat with 9 of each, then 8…down to 1
Jäzz Händz and his friend’s husband currently in a coma. Prayers for Captain Crunch as he continues to be in an extremely busy time at work. Prayers for Archive and everyone who has given up something for Lent.
Jogged around the lake doing a form of “Indian Runs” with paxs in groups of twos running ahead and performing 20 alternating push ups as a pair. We then did Indian Runs up the Hawthorne hill and jogged a neighborhood loop. Should we happen upon a church we were to do the following, increasing sets with each church:
10 reverse push ups
25 monkey humpers
50 overhead hand claps
We did as follows:
1 set of above- First Science Church
2 sets of above- First Presbeterian Church
3 sets of above- First Congregational Church
We jogged back to lake ellyn where we then began crabwalking. Anytime someone needed a “rest: from crab walking, 10 burpees were performed. We accomplished 40 burpees total and then lunged back towards the start point, as our time was up.
COT/NOR: Prayers for Bloomer and his family, for motivation, and thanksgiving for Noodles wedding anniversary.
Ruck day does not always have to be hard, but it will always be work!
Another Shackleton, eight PAX accepted the challenge to lift up our community in prayer: @Archive, @Banks, @Crack, @Cookies, @Da Vinci, @Katniss, @Shiplap, @Sparrow.
Warmorama inspired by @Jolly’s VR boxing video, we worked the (imaginary) small bag, took down our virtual opponents on both sides.
The Q hoped in vain for clear sidewalks, instead we made our way the best we could in and out around the perimeter of the AO, praying for the community as we traveled. We prayed for:
– Our neighbors, and the PAX
– Our local churches
– Our local government
– Disadvantaged, refugees, and the poor among our community
– First responders
– Healthcare workers
– Veterans and active military
– Schools and educators
– Our families
Arriving back at the #AO-Mastodon-flag and #OG-Wheaton-flag, we had some extra time so we knocked out some quick warm-down of Mary and Merkins.
Moleskin: It can be easy to get distracted when we pray, wanting to reach out to someone that comes to mind or check up on something. There is nothing wrong with that, but we can’t let that keep us from returning to prayer, for that is where the difference is made.
COT: We have many folks among the PAX that need prayer, keep lifting them up.
