Tag: Jolly

Poison Pill

by backblasts, posted in Uncategorized

Backblast, 3/6/21, 5:30am AO Tarpit

Poison Pill

Tortuga – QIC

Eleven PAX posted on this beautiful nearly spring morning. After a quick WOR of daisy pickers, Michael Phelps, 4 count motivators (Hotbox style – run in place rather than jump), and 10 slow merkins IC, we split into teams. Needing teams of three and falling just short of a handy multiple of said three, I asked for two volunteers to be a team of two. Shiplap and Banks took up the challenge.

Thang one: Poison Pill

Each team had chalk, a gallon of water, and two coupons. Only the six staircases starting on the southeast corner of Glenbard West and moving west to the southwest corner were used. Teams were required to carry their supplies up an unoccupied staircase. At the top, if there was no exercise listed in chalk, they wrote one, descended the same staircase, and went to a different staircase. If there were any exercises listed, the team had to complete 100 reps of all listed exercises. Upon completion, the team added a new exercise to the list. Repeat.

If there were three exercises listed when a team arrived at the top of a staircase, they complete the 300 total reps, erase all the chalk with their water, score one point, and go to a new staircase. Teams earned a five point bonus for completing all six staircases, regardless of the number of reps needed.

Exactly one coupon exercise per set of three listed exercises was required. No team may do the same staircase twice in a row. They must complete a different staircase before returning. Only one team at a time was allowed on each staircase.

Shiplap and Banks were given a slight head start and a reduced number of reps (75. They asked for 66.) Team DaVinci, Hotbox, and Tortuga wrote burpees at the top of their first staircase then climbed the staircase vacated by Jolly, Cookies, and Katniss. They left us blockees. Sweet as. This trend continued throughout the beatdown. There were very few soft reps. Our team had one round of lbcs, but that was it for easy. Hodors, blockees (again), burpees (2x), lunges(2x), curls, Peter Parkers, BBSUs, were completed by our team.

Time was called at 6:25, and all PAX returned to the parking lot for some Mary.

Team Banks and Shiplap tied with Team DaVinci, Hotbox, and Tortuga with seven points. Squat off to determine champ went to Hotbox.

Mary: Flutter kicks, 4 count, IC, 50.

NOR: Panhandle, Shiplap, Banks, Cookies, Saga, Jolly, Hotbox, Beaker, DaVinci, Katniss, Tortuga (Q). Guest appearances from Crack and Crash at the end with some biking down the stairs by @Crash who, thankfully, did NOT live up to his name this morning.

COT: Praise for a beautiful morning, a God who loves us, friends to push us, and a good workout. “Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” James chapter one (somewhere in there).

Backblast 2/24/2021 (Billy Madison Workout)

by backblasts, posted in Uncategorized

Challenge: Complete k-12 in 45 minutes.

15 PAX showed up for class, in attendance:

Warmorama

Motivators (x7); good mornings; arm circles

Run up the wheel with coupons.

Each grade consists of an exercise and a question aimed at students of that grade level. Graduation from each grade to the next requires running down and back up the wheel.

Kindergarten: Little Baby Crunches (50) (How many PAX are in attendance?)

1st Grade: Hodors (20) (Laura has 7 cupcakes. Jeremy eats 2. How many does Laura have left? 5; What does Jeremy have? A black eye.)

2nd Grade: skull crushers (25) (Which is not a state of matter? Solid, Color, Liquid, Gas)

3rd Grade: Star Jumps (30) What is the name for someone who studies dinosaurs? (Paleontologist)

4th Grade: Blockbees (11) 44 divided by 4

5th Grade: Bonnie Blairs (27) 5 and 2/5 into an improper fraction.

6th Grade: Wall climbers (6) Give number and symbol for Carbon (6, C)

7th Grade: Coupon swings (20) Obnoxious is to pleasant as radiant is to: (dull, bright, loud, quiet, soft)

8th Grade: Coupon curls (70) 4x-10=18, what is x? (7)

9th Grade: Big Boy Situps (90) What’s the formula for area of a circle? (pi)r^2

10th Grade: Merkins (100) What gas is needed for photosynthesis (Carbon Dioxide)

11th Grade: Air Squats (110) What is the belief that the US has the right to occupy all of America? (Manifest Destiny)

12th Grade: Flutter Kicks (120) SAT Vocab: What is an antonym for enervating (feeling energized, like after an F3 workout or after finishing all of school in 45 minutes)

Graduation Ceremony: Your coupon is your diploma, hold it high (rifle carry) and walk back to the parking lot.

Moleskin: Unlike Billy, you’re likely not a drunk who may fail to inherit his father’s business, but like Billy, working towards a clear objective in a community is pretty helpful. Thanks to F3 for helping me do better during COVID along several dimensions.

CoT; Prayer: Energy, focus, perseverance, Bloomer’s son, Jazz Hand’s friend

SuperDora 02/23/2021 @ AO MASTODON

by backblasts, posted in Uncategorized

Knowing that it has been cold lately and there is a LOT of snow and ice on the ground that will be in various states of melting due to the warmer temperatures, the challenge was to create a workout that left the PAX warm and not too wet for coffeeteria. It turns out that the snow was not melty, but instead was packed down firmly with a nice crust on top.

YHC has always been a fan of the Dora, but the Exicon came up short while planning this workout so a new Dora was born, the SUPERDORA. Answering the new challenge were many of the stalwart HIMs: Big Mac, Bloomer, Cookies, Da Vinci, Hotbox, Jolly, Katniss, Panhandle, Saga, Shiplap, TBTF, T-bone (first RESPECT workout!), Tortuga.

Warmorama was a simple classic to get the blood pumping: motivators, goofballs, and a quick lap of high knees around the parking lot while the Q explained the beatdown.

Queue the SuperDora:

Instead of pairs, the entire PAX was challenged to complete exercise reps with interspersed bursts of cardio. (up to 4 exercises between cardio, the PAX chose various strategies)

Cardio options were: run up or down Hoffa, Run to the cooties/SHOP or back (convenient if targeting one of the exercises that are executed there), 15 Burpees, 25 Star Jumps, 30 Mountain climbers

Exercise rep targets were determined by number of PAX to show. The Q failed at math and targeted about 2000 reps per PAX to spread around. It should have been half of that. The board was prepared with 72 marks per exercise group, each mark originally representing 75 reps which the Q revised to 60 reps, it really should have been 30 reps per mark.

Categories and exercises available per type:

4320 – Chest/shoulders: Derkins, Chest press, Picnic table press

4320 – Back/shoulders: Bent over coupon rows, Inverted rows, Pull ups

4320 – Mary: Leg raises, American Hammers, jumping crunches or imperial walkers

4320 – Legs: Weighted squats, Calf raises (4 = 1), Pistol squats

4320 – More: Kettlebell swings, Coupon Curls, Rifle carry (4 paces = 1)

There was a bit of confusion at the beginning, but the PAX quickly figured out their strategies and started their exercises. After a few minutes YHC noticed it was rather quiet, the grunts of hard work and an odd picnic table being dropped were about all that broke the silence. Thankfully Shiplap had already taken matters into his own hands and came back from his rifle carry to the car with Jock Jams pulsing, this clearly invigorated the PAX and they picked up the pace.

Nonetheless, the absurd number of reps planned were not coming off of the board fast enough and ⅔ of the way through the beatdown the Q called “double credit” and each set of 60 reps took 2 marks from the board. Alas, it was too little, too late and we ran out of time with quite a few marks on the board. At least we didn’t run out of exercises before the end of our time.

Choose Your Own Adventure: Treasure Hunt Remix

by Sparrow, posted in Uncategorized

Story: Through a strange twist of fate, you find yourself stuck inside a library of surprisingly morbid 1980’s “Choose your own adventure” books. Jumping from book to book, you are threatened on all sides. Zombies, cowboys, rival workout gangs, everyone is out to get you. There is only one way to survive: keep moving.

An oddly appropriate theme for a beatdown during life-threatening environmental conditions. 3° temperature, -14° wind chill, unplowed roads, cars stuck in snowbanks, duct tape giving up due to cold,  frozen coupons, back-to-back workouts in the same morning. Why did 12 PAX brave these obstacles? Were they driven by a simple treasure lust? Learn the truth at the end of this post.

The following story segments were stationed around the AO. Each workout accomplished earned PAX one of 6 puzzle pieces, which assembled would reveal the location of real, actual, buried treasure.

Choose your own adventure F3 Q treasure hunt
Your school is on a field trip to the zoo, and you’re trying to catch the attention of your new crush. With your friend holding on to you shirt, you lean way over the gorilla pit and smack the largest gorilla on the back of the head. Your friend loses his grip, and now you’re eye to eye with an angry gorilla, who is trying to decide if you are another gorilla, a snack, or his long lost girlfriend.
You’ll have to do your best gorilla impression if you want to survive until the zoo keepers arrive.
Do 75 total reps in any combination of these:
Overhand Pull ups Underhand Chin ups. Toe to bar.
You’ve aroused the anger of time traveling cowboys. They decide to teach you a lesson by “making you dance”. With pistol shots at your head and feet. You’ll be ducking and jumping to survive.
To dodge the bullets perform 150 reps total of any combination of:
Bench dips
Box Jumps
Step ups


You’ve fallen into the hands of several elderly zombies. They will eat your brains, unless you can blend in with them.
To blend in, you must perform 400 reps on 4 of the permanent workout machines in this area. Choose 4 machines. Bodyweight chest press, inclined sit-up, elliptical movement, etc.
Any machine, any rep count, until your team gets to 400 reps total.

A rival workout gang claims Northside Park as their exclusive territory, unless you can beat them at their own game.
To prove you’re the strongest, you need to do 150 reps in any combination of:
Merkins,
Burpees,
Star Jumps,
Squat jumps

Out of innocent curiosity, you wandered behind the bathhouse. You walked right into a secret meeting of bully’s club called Rodney and the Rathbones.
They’ll let you go free, but only after you do 150 of these (total reps in any combination):
Bent over rows,
Kettle bell swings,
Coupon lunges
You drank something, and it wasn’t Kool-aid™. You can’t tell if someone laced your drink with PCP, Speed, or just the heady power rush that accompanies becoming commander in chief.

Work off your power rush and prove you’re the best by performing 150 Total Reps in any combination of:
Coupon Bicep Curls,
Overhead Press,
Scull Crushers.

Download the Full PDF of this Workout with Pictures, Story, and Exercises Download
Pre Workout: Treasure is buried under snow in the middle of a frozen lake.
Story segments and workout options were positioned around the AO.

Pretty good snow camouflage for the treasure
Thermal imaging makes the treasure spot more visible
This was enough to lead Tortuga and Jazz hands to the treasure.
The Real Treasure map
Approaching the winners
The Victor’s circle
The Treasure

Archive and Captain crunch showed off by getting to the treasure 20 minutes ahead of schedule. Getting tired of counting and re-counting their treasure, they then returned to the workout to “wave their beef sticks in our faces.”

This workout was nobody’s first rodeo, but it was still a wild ride. Why did we do it? Because we know these things to be truth:

  1. Adversity brings us together.
  2. Working hard makes us stronger.
  3. Friendship is the real treasure. Friendship, and toe-warmers.

    Thanks for the memories.
    -Sparrow

Dueling Doomsday Clocks

by backblasts, posted in Uncategorized

Backblast, Tuesday, 2/9/21, 5:30 AM, AO Mastodon

It was definitely a Shackleton today. As I arrived at 5:21, the parking lots had not yet been plowed, but a plow was hard at work. By 5:26, I was able to pull into a plowed spot by the tennis courts. The plow was still clearing the rest of the lot as other PAX pulled in. The driver commented, “I thought you were a gang or something.”

WOR: motivators, tappy taps, goof balls, jog to cooties.

Thang one:

Two stations, teams of three. Station One: pull ups and jump squats. Station Two: Bulgarian Split Squats and SSH. The team member at each station stayed in motion doing the first exercise switching exercises as needed. Third team member ran around the obelisk circle to station one. Members rotated through the stations. (Continued this until QIC finished his 50 strict pull ups.)

PAX were encouraged to recite James while at stations. I think we got through verse eight a few times.

Thang two: Dueling Doomsday Clocks, part one

Moseyed back to the tennis court lot. Two groups for Dueling Doomsday Clocks. Each group formed a circle. At the start signal, each PAX got into the plank position. One PAX did one merkin and returned to the plank, then the PAX on his right did one merkin and returned to the plank, after all PAX in the clock did one merkin, the starting PAX did two merkins, etc. Once a PAX was unable to hold the plank or complete the merkins, he was out of the clock and began doing squats. As soon as one group was down to two remaining PAX, the round ended. One group got up to 10 merkins.

Thang three: Dueling Doomsday Clocks, part two

Moseyed to the pool lot. Repeated clocks with new groups and flipped the script. Clocks started in the squat position. First PAX did one squat, then returned to the squat hold with arms above the head. Eliminated PAX planked. (I was the first out on my team.) We had to call it a tie as time ran out.

NOR: Saga, Banks, Davinci, Whittler, Shiplap, Sparrow, Katniss, Beaker, Big Mac, Jolly, Cookies, Crack, and Tortuga (Q)

COT: Lifted up Hot Box’s M, TBTF with a rough work schedule this week, and Bloomer and Captain Crunch’s 2.0s.

Sparrow sang the praises of hand warmers and made an altar call (forgiveness and salvation being even better news than hand warmers).

Monday Ruck Club – January 25, 2021

by backblasts, posted in Uncategorized

Backblast: Monday Ruck Club – January 25, 2021

15 PAX in attendance including an FNG!

WOR:
10 Abe Vigodas
10 Tappy Taps
OYO Quad Stretches
10 Burpees

Q decided to ease into this week’s beatdowns with an easy Ruck around Mastodon. The PAX took turns leading the way and stopping to call out an exercise of their choice. The only caveat was that it couldn’t be more than 10 reps. Not surprisingly, a couple of PAX (I’m looking at you @Banks and @SAGA!) got around the 10 rep max by calling exercises with several steps built into each rep.

@Jolly – 10 air squats
@Big Mac – 10 burpees
@Panhandle – 10 Merkins
@Katniss – 10 Ruck Pulls
@Banks – 10 Dan Taylors!
@Shiplap – cross bridge without feet touching the ground
@Da Vinci – 10 burpees
@SAGA – 10 Birthbees!
@Sparrow – trek up Hoffa
@Jolly – 10 burpees

Prayers for several job openings as they seek the right candidates. Welcome @Rainbow Bright! (edited)

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Backblast: 1/21/2021 – Year in Review

by backblasts, posted in Uncategorized

Warm-o-rama (Snapshot 1)

5 Motivators: Chuck Norris breaths air – 5 times a day

Tappy-taps: Chuck Norris got Coronavirus. Now the Coronavirus is in isolation.

Arm Circles: Chuck Norris was once run over by a tank. He refused to pay for it.

5 mountain climbers w/a merkin: Chuck Norris doesn’t do push-ups, he pushes the earth down.

We circled the crib to hear the tale of the newborn among us: The Birthbee. A demonstration of its beautiful cry was beheld by all in the shape of 2 Dollys + 2 Big Boy Sit-ups (here’s to cramping) + 2 “nursing” nipple scrappers (cause you need to give attention to both sides) + 1 burpee jump + 1 squat = 1. Thus a salute to our mothers who went into double-time pain that we might have breath. (SAGA)

(Saga)

Snapshot 2

Everyone look at the sky, what don’t you see? The Great Conjunction…Still (Crack)

Snapshot 3

In honor of the 3 years we were in Augusta, GA, we each did three trips up Hoffa while the other did LBCs and BBSs (Panhandle)

Snapshot 4

· Do 5 curls, 5 overhead press, 5 rows, 5 grave diggers, 5 skull cruchers, 5 goblet squats, 5 monkey humpers, 5 bernie sanders, 5 BBSU (Jolly’s Santa Delivery)

Snapshot 5

Da Vinci brought us the arts, visual, musical and written but perhaps most memorable are quotes of the Desert Fathers, (Da Vinci) Would you motivate us with one of your favorites? Or perhaps just anything you want?

Snapshot 6

What’s you’re favorite exercise shiplap? Do 40 if you don’t beat shiplap you have to run the hill, for every person who beats Shiplap he has to run the hill. If you win, you can do burpees or whatever for the six. (Shiplap)

Snapshot 7

1. What is the most expensive home in the world? Buckingham Palace (Mose got it correct!) 50 overhead presses (Bigmac)

Snapshot 8

Theme was James 1:2. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds.”

(Everyone does 20 Bonnie Blairs) (Tortuga)

Snapshot 9

Howling Monkeys/Gorillas (Cap’n Crunch)

Snapshot 10

Everyone partner off, we’ll run to the baseball field and tell your partner your favorite memory of 2020 and your favorite F3 memory of 2020 (Sparrow)

Snapshot 11

“Make each day a masterpiece”

Have Archive demonstrate perfect IC exercise call of exercise and reps of choice (Archive)

Snapshot 12

The second law of thermodynamics say that during any process, the entropy of the universe increases. In plain language, chemical reactions happen because they increase the randomness and disorder in the universe. You can also say that entropy is the tendency for things to mix. I cannot think of a more random, disordered mix of exercises than the birthbee.

In between sets 2 and 3 (above) we explored the second law by doing and Indian run around the AO, stopping to perform 5 birthbees in the ice at 3 bridges, for a total of 15 birthbees. (Beaker)

Snapshot 13

As many situps as you can in 2 minutes, timed. (You would have a partner counting) (Banks)

Snapshot 14

“Remain in plank position the whole time. Bear crawl forward 4 steps, do 1 merkin, 1 plank jack, and tap the BACK of each shoulder 1 time. Repeat adding 1 rep to each exercise each time – bear crawl forward 4 steps, do 2 merkins, 2 plank jacks, 2 sets of back of shoulder taps… etc. Go until you get to 4 reps each, you’ve covered 30-50 feet, or until your arms fall off – whichever comes first.” (Jazz Hands)

Snapshot 15

Nolan Ryan and One Arm Coupon Rows. (Cookies)

Snapshot 16

Load Eroica Symphony (Beethoven) and do a whole bunch of burpees then shout I FEEL OUTSTANDING!x (Hotbox)

Circle of Trust, Moleskin & Prayer

Reviewing the year, it’s quite clear, F3 was the best part. Thanks to everyone for contributing towards that. We’re better together.

In attendance: (Going from memory…late, sorry if I forgot anyone)

Celebrity Jeopardy

by backblasts, posted in Uncategorized

Alex Trebek brought the beatdown today.

F3 Wheaton is as strong mentally as it is physically. Out of 28 questions, 19 were answered correctly and 9 were incorrect, which led the Pax to complete 565 total reps of every exercise, including 100 burpees.

We serendipitously ended right on time, finishing the last question as the buzzer rang.

 

Excellent showing by , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 

Welcome DeadDrop.

Potent Potables

You need this liquor to make a moscow mule

(WHAT IS VODKA)

25

Monkey Humpers

White creme de menthe & this liquor put the sting in a stinger

(WHAT IS BRANDY)

30

Kettle Bell Swings

This scandinavian liquor is made by redistilling alcohol made from grain or potatoes

(WHAT IS AQUAVIT)

20

Burpees

Bitcoin

This word is used to describe the creation of new bitcoin

Mining

10

Big Boy Situps

Are Bitcoin purchases, Pseudonymous, Anonymous, or Publically viewable?

Pseudonymous.

20

Flutter Kicks

Bitcoin lacks fungibility. Define Fungible?

Able to replace or be replaced by another identical item; mutually interchangeable.

20

Burpees

F3 Exicon

The Pickle Pounder

Begin in an elbow plank then alternate hip flexion and extension in cadence.

30

The Pickle Pounder

Rockette Dips

Perform dips with alternating leg kick at the nadir of the dip.

10

Rockette Dips

Mario

Double Box jumps on picnic tables (or stairs)… Jump to seat, jump to tabletop, stand up, walk down.

20

Mario

The office

If you’re doing CPR and the patient dies, what should you do next.

Harvest the Organs

1 min

Plank

When Michael Scott hands a giant check for $340 dollars to a stripper dressed as a nurse. Who is the check made out to?

Science

10

Carolina Dry Docks

What is Dwite’s porcupine named:

Henrietta

25

Merkins

Jack Handy

I bet for an Indian, shooting an old fat pioneer woman in the back with an arrow, and she fires her shotgun into the ground as she falls over,

is like the top thing you can do.

40

Chest Press

If Alien was my friend, I’d like to be with him when he went to the dentist.

When they started drilling, he’d probably go nust and start eating everybody. That Alien!

30

Curls

I’d like to be buried indian-style, where they put you up on a high rack above the ground. That way,

You could get hit by meteorites and not even feel it.

10

Burpees

Star Wars

In Revenge of the Sith and Attack of the Clones, what color is Yoda’s lightsaber?

Green

20

Shoulder Taps

The planet Endor got it’s name from another famous narrative, what was the name of the narrative?

The Bible. Saul and the witch of Endor.

30

Murder Bunnies

What were Luke’s aunt and uncle’s jobs on Tatooine?

Moisture farmers

10

Scull Crushers

Billionaires

Who is the youngest billionaire listed in the top 10 richest people in the world

Mark Zuckerberg

30

Crunches

This Billionaire is the CEO of Berkshire Hathaway

Warren Buffet

10

Lunges

How did Jeff Bezos respond to a blackmail threat from the national enquirer?

He publicised it.

15

Nipple Scrapers

Desert Fathers

St. John Climacus: Control you appetites before they

Control you

20

Side Straddle Hops

St. Poemen: If man remembered that it is written: “By your words you will be justified and by your words you will be condemned,” He would choose:

to remain silent

20

Squats

An Old man said, I would rather have a defeat with humility, than

a victory with pride

10

Burpees

Bible Trivia

What is the name of the oldest man in the Bible, and how old did he live to be.

Methusela. 969

30

Bent over Rows

It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a

quarrelsome wife.

30

Overhead Press

David’s son Absolom cut his hair once a year and weighed it. How much did it weigh?

200 Shekels (6 pounds)

10

Decline Merkin
535 Total Reps

 

Lightning Round

 

Current U.S. Presidents

The number Ten

Toast

The Pen Is Mightier (Automatic 10 burpees)

S-words and guns (“What is a ‘dum dum bullet’?”, Hollowpoint,  10 Burpees)

Things you shouldn’t put in your mouth

States that end in hampshire (Newhampshire, 10 burpees)

They out here saying

White people

(30 burpees in the lightning round brought today’s total to 565 reps)

 

12.21.20 — The Three Kings

by f3captcrunch, posted in Uncategorized

8 PAX (Gummi Bear (35!), Panhandle, Big Mac, Beaker, Jolly, Tortuga, Too Big To Fail, Capn Crunch (QIC)) started this week like it was any other, rucks shouldered in the Gloom, ready for whatever randomness awaited them.

Today, with Jupiter and Saturn converging overhead, it was also the meeting of too very opposing themes. On the one hand, the spirit of rivalry over who would ascend their hill more often or complete more cycles of reps for their team (Santa vs the Snowman). On the other, the spirit of honoring, following in the footsteps of the magi, humbly seeking to offer token offerings to the great king declared in the heavens. Afterwards they enjoyed a good loop around the park for old time’s sake.

Warm-O-Rama:

  • Ruck-Motivators ICx5
  • Abe Vigoda ICx10
  • Mountain Man Poopers ICx12
  • Form Demo: Ruck Thrusters, ICx5
  • Form Demo: Ruck Swings OYOx10

The Thang: The Battle for the North Pole

Teams divided up at the base of Hoffa and each PAX took an exercise:

  • Seeking the Star — Hill sprint + 10 Ruck Merkins + 10 Ruck Star Jumps + return (one point for the full trip)
  • Offering Gold — Ruck Thrusters (each full set of 12 completed is one point)
  • Offering Frankincense — Ruck Swings (each full set of 25 completed is one point)
  • Offering Myrrh — Ruck Plank (no points. just do it)
    (PAX work on their exercise, completing sets until the Star Seeker returns. Then Star Seeker offers Gold, Gold offers Frankincense, Frankincense offers Myrrh, and Myrrh becomes the Star Seeker)
  • Once all PAX have been Star Seeker, the group lunge-walks away from Hoffa, while singing the first verse and chorus of We Three Kings. Then repeat the exercise AMRAP for 20 minutes. (about 4 full cycles)

Cooldown Ruck: Archive Mile ~ 15-16 min mile pace.

COR/NOR/COT: Prayer and praise for Tortuga’s daughter’s continued recovery after having 5 wisdom teeth pulled — for the spirit of Christmas to fill our homes and hearts and families this week, and for God’s presence to abide with us.

Meditation: May we, like the magi, offer our wealth, our prayers, and our bodies to the Prince of Peace and Lord of Lords who has drawn near to us to save us from ourselves.

Santa’s Secret Snack Hunt

by backblasts, posted in Uncategorized

Santa needs our help.

Mrs. Clause put Santa on a diet, so now Santa does his snacking at Northside Park (Ho, Ho, Ho.) Santa was not wearing a mask (does the beard not count?) so the COVID police chased him all over Northside park. A fan of action films, Santa tried tossing out his snacks to see if it would distract the cops, but alas, covid cops are vegan.

Now Santa is in the lockup, and there will be no Christmas, period.

Christmas cannot be saved, but it’s killing Santa to think about all those snacks going to waste. I saw Santa during a recent prison ministry visit, and he slipped me a map rolled up inside a twinky. Now it’s up to us to find Santa’s snacks and eat them.

If our group is under 10 on Monday, this will be a leisurely walk in the park. If we are over 10, we will split into teams of 4 for a cut-throat, eat-or-be-eaten snack hunt in the park.

Teams will be allowed to self select around themes:

  1. Fast track/need for speed/everyday-I’m-shuffling
  2. Beat down.
  3. Hold me back: diet accountability group.
  4. Pax just wanna have fun.

Welcome FNG “Beaf Stick”